DAY 1: MOCO Museum of contemporary art, Red Light District
Breakfast in London, lunch in Amsterdam!
Went straight to the Moco modern art museum which was fantastic, a really well curated selection of modern art – and I found this little Eddie Vedder piece tucked away in the corner!
We are here for Angel’s 21st birthday, and I swear she was more excited to go to a Dutch supermarket and see what they had than anything else. Strange child 🤣
We did a walking tour of the Red Light District, learning loads about the history of the area and how the laws of prostitution and drug use came about and evolved.
Houses used to be taxed according to width, which is why they are so narrow and tall. Like Venice, a lot are built on platforms on stilts. This row of houses are called the “dancing houses” cos they appear to be collapsing into the water.
Did you know there used to be a condom measuring service?? The measuring tape goes up to 35cm.
The windows the sex workers operate from came about when prostitution was legalised but the law stated women could not “lure in men through the door” – so they did it through the window instead.
There are old churches right next to the red light windows so the sailors who used the prostitutes could immediately be absolved of their sins before heading back out to sea.
Obviously you are not allowed to take photos of the women at work, in fact Amsterdam appears to be very protective of the sex workers and there seem to be a lot of resources to protect them and prioritise their safety, although the current mayor wants to change the whole system and also criminalise cannabis for all but residents.
It absolutely pissed it down so we had to take shelter in the coffee shops 🤣
DAY 2: VAN GOGH MUSEUM
I first came to Amsterdam when I was 22 and spent the entire time in the coffee shops and red light district, but I remember thinking I’d like to come back one day when I’m grown up and do things like go to Anne Frank’s house and the van Gogh museum. It’s been than more than 25 years, but I finally made it, so does this mean I’m a grown up now??
DAY 3: SEX MUSEUM, AMSTERDAM ICE BAR
Tip if you are travelling with 20 year olds: like newborns, you must carefully manage when they need to eat, drink, and go to the toilet. If you don’t, they will suddenly need one of the above out of nowhere, and don’t even try to suggest we are only 20 minutes away, you have about 2 minutes before the situation becomes critical 🤣
As long as you keep on top of that, you’re grand.
Brilliant time dicking about with them in the iconic Sex Museum, before heading over in the evening to the Amsterdam Ice Bar.
Yes, it’s a bar, made out of ice, and kept at -15 degrees. Even your glasses are made of ice. They give you gloves and a massive coat, and you can only stay inside for about 20 minutes or so before you risk death.
And I’m the sort of person who needs a hoodie until it’s 27 degrees. Whose idea was this??
Actually it was brilliant, and Angel’s fav thing we’ve done so far.
DAY 4:
Birthdays in Amsterdam mean a tattoo to signify 21, a pub crawl in the red light district, and not making to the end of the pub crawl cos you can’t walk straight.
Walked past this coffee shop and recognised it from a pic that was taken when I went to Amsterdam in 1998, so Angel and I recreated it. How did we do?
Edit: on this first trip to Amsterdam, I remember us getting in a taxi on the first night and saying “just take us where everything is”. It sounded to us like the driver said “I will take you to Emerald Square” but no such place exists so I always wondered where we actually went. Turns out, he was saying Rembrandt Square. A 26 year mystery solved.
DAY 5:
Our post birthday hungover day in Amsterdam – Ripley’s Believe It or Not, a river cruise through the canals, fries from a famous chip place where you have to join a massive queue (it moves fast tho) and can choose from 25 toppings on your (admittedly amazing) chips, the Anne Frank House, and the Red Light Secrets Museum of Prostitution, housed in a former brothel in the main part of the red light district.
Gathering our energy for our final day today…
DAY 6:
Our final day in the beautiful city of Amsterdam. The torture museum, traditional Dutch stamppot for lunch, and hanging out in the Vondelpark. You can legally have sex in the Vondelpark! As long as it’s at night, you clean up after yourself, and don’t do it near the play parks. We didn’t though.
Amsterdam, from my first trip as a partying 22 year old, to celebrating my daughter’s 21st birthday, you have been amazing ♥️✖️✖️✖️