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Still Hanging Around…

By bexackland@ntlworld.com • November 20, 2020 Uncategorized

Written by Bexiita Ackland

I’m getting on a bit.

Earlier this year it was my 40th birthday. Sometimes, as author Jonathan Safran Foer wrote, I can feel my bones straining under the weight of all the lives I’m not living. Or to be more accurate, I can feel my body straining under the weight of all the pole moves I haven’t got round to trying yet. I think my pole to-do list is starting to exceed the length of time I actually have left on the planet.

I didn’t start pole until I was 33. While this is by no means ancient, let’s face it – it is on the upper end of the spring chicken scale.

It seems like everyone in pole is getting younger. Just a few weeks ago a discussion on children taking pole classes made international headlines. With that brings a new generation of fearless flippy gymnasts, and it’s easy to see why, even at the ripe old age of 25, some polers can start to feel past it.

Age is meaningless in my head. I don’t feel like I’m getting older. I feel the same as I did when I was 16 apart from the fact I don’t fancy Christian Slater any more. My body? Yeah it’s starting to feel a difference.

It takes longer to warm up. Gone are the days of turning up to class and launching straight into a handspring. But that can only be a good thing right? That sort of thing was probably ridiculously irresponsible anyway and led to all those niggling pains I had, but ignored cos I was being so badass. Much better now to have a good long warm up and stretch session, ideally in a toasty warm studio and possibly with a nice cup of tea.

While we are on the subject of injuries, I know if I hurt myself now it will take longer to recover. My days of being Wolverine are ebbing away. This means there are tricks I won’t do because I know they are not for me. Again, this creates a sense of responsible poling that extends to students I know have injuries or health issues.

I do not believe every trick is for everyone and it’s just a matter of pushing through the pain. I do not believe that pain is failure leaving the body. I think that sort of mentality is dangerous claptrap. Ageing makes you more responsible not only to your own body, but to those you teach too. I want my students to still be poling in 5, 10 or 15 years. I feel more aware of what the body can do and it’s limitations, and that health and body wellness is truly a gift to be treasured. As Isabella Rossellini says in the wonderfully philosophical Death Becomes Her, “This is life’s ultimate cruelty. It offers us a taste of youth and vitality, and then it makes us witness our own decay”. Or as more often said – youth is wasted on the young.

I have recently had to withdraw from a competition I love because I hurt myself doing the video heat. I know that training for the actual competition would be even more intense, and I can’t take the risk of injuring myself to the extent of being unable to teach, my source of income. Would this be different if I was younger? Am I at more risk of injury because I am older?

While on the subject of competing, I suppose the possibility of performing to Lana Del Rey’s Young And Beautiful is probably receding.

Will You Still Love Me When I’m No Longer Able To Hang Upside Down?

But while its undoubtedly a toll on the body, this getting older business, it’s definitely a liberating thing for the soul.

I can distinctly remember being “young”, whatever that means, and whenever older women (and shamefully by that I probably meant those over 30) said things like “I feel a lot more attractive now than I did when I was 20” I used to think it was a lie. When women said the confidence that came with age made them feel more comfortable with themselves, more attractive, more confident, I thought it was a lie they were telling themselves to make themselves feel better. I actually thought this. In Real Life. I’m so ashamed. If nothing else, getting older has been a wonderful thing because it stopped me thinking such obnoxious things and being such an arse.

Now I know not only it is true, but that it’s true to the power of a billion. Yes, I am happy to report to my whippersnapper friends who obsess over stretch marks on their perfect thighs and inject Botox into their non existent wrinkles, as you get older those things may get worse but you JUST DON’T CARE. Honestly.

I used to wear a skirt when I started teaching, so horrified was I at the sight of my own thighs and arse, Yet now there are probably more picture of my arse on the internet than there are conspiracy theories about Area 51. In fact the exposure of my arse could probably cover Area 51.

I laugh at those articles about what women shouldn’t wear after 30 or 40 or 50. One good thing about being older is wearing what you want and really not giving a toss. Don’t tell me I can’t wear a bikini after 30. I’ll wear a ballgown and stripper heels to the supermarket if I want and you can pick up all the f***s I don’t give in my wake.

…And neither should you

You might think I look ridiculous in my sequinned Union Jack bikini but what business is that of anybody’s. I’ll listen to advice on what to wear from teenagers when they learn to pull their jeans up.

This is not to say I don’t have my own moments of vanity and self consciousness. I’m not for one moment saying I’m perfect. Instead, I mean as you get older you might look in the mirror and think urgh my face is literally starting to run down my body, but never mind. Look what my body has done. It has created new life, and brought those human beings up so who cares about a few stretch marks? It has borne the brunt of a million adventures and has the scars to show for it, from dents left from childhood accidents to surgery and biopsy scars that all tell a story to the remnants of unidentified drinking injuries that are hazy in detail but make great anecdotes. I even have a few dodgy tattoos that I still like even though they are faded and blurred and reveal a 90s penchant for Japanese calligraphy. (The tattoos were never meant to be seen by the way, how was I to know that 15 years later I’d have a job that required me to be permanent clad in hotpants and crop top?)

Plus being 40 is a brilliant excuse. If I look like crap, I can say “what did you expect? I’m twice your age!” If I look good everyone’s all “wow I hope I look as good as you at your age”. It’s a win win. What’s not to love?

I am a woman well lived and I think that’s a small price to pay for having to take an extra half an hour to warm up.

BEXIITA ACKLAND

The Ten Commandments of Pole Social Media

By bexackland@ntlworld.com • November 20, 2020 Uncategorized

Written by Bexiita Ackland

There are a million articles out there on what not to do on social media.

We all know it’s seriously uncool to do the “Grrrrrr… Some people!” status, as well as the “busy busy busy!” humble brag and the “U ok hon?” attention bait. And while your social media account is your own business, and you are free to share or not share whatever you choose, here are Ten Commandments to help you not be a total dick on social media in the world of Pole.

1 Thou Shalt Appreciate Other People’s Stuff

Comment, like, even share it. Don’t just post your own stuff and sit back waiting for plaudits. Interact with people, reply, respond, look at and comment on other peoples stuff. It’s a two way street. It’s a conversation, not a monologue, even if you are totally awesome.

2 Thou Shalt Not Drink And Internet

You would be amazed at the amount of enquiries I get late on Friday nights when people get home from the pub. I get even more on bank holidays, even on Christmas Day and New Year. An 11pm message about a new beginners’ course after a few shandies that will never amount to anything once the drink has worn off, but still we must respond to all the questions about what to wear and is everybody the size and shape of a stick insect. On the other hand if you are out on the town and taking photos of drunken splits on the dance floor, then post away

3 Thou Shalt Give Credit Where Credit Is Due

If you are inspired by someone, or seen something you’d like to try, it’s good to share that with them. Chances are they’ll be chuffed to bits, and will probably offer you some tips if you ask. Similarly don’t rip off people’s style, creativity, choreography, ideas, or logos. Facebook, Instagram and all the rest are social networks. Networking means you give, and you take. The person you are inspired by may not have created the move, but if you saw them do it, thought hey, that’s pretty cool, and tried it, let them know. I guarantee it will make them smile. However…

4 Thou Shalt Not Be A Credit Pedant

Don’t insist that every single move ever done is referenced back to whoever did ot first, or get unnecessarily prissy about names. A simple “that looks cool, we call it a flying donut” or “it’s really similar to something we’ve been working on” will suffice rather than a demand to use its “proper” name to piss all over someone’s bonfire AND rain on their parade simultaneously. It’s highly likely that someone, somewhere in the world will have come up with a similar move to someone else at any given time. Getting into a fight over names will just alert everyone to the fact that you’re a bit petty and sad. Let people have their things. Don’t be that person.

5 Thou Shalt Throw In A Bit Of Local Colour

As we have already said, it’s your social media account, and you should share what you feel comfortable with. You should absolutely not feel pressured to share personal details of your life. But I admit I like it when the people I follow online share some local colour about their lives. We may have never met, but I love to know that as well as being a badass poler you also have a dog called Rover, kids who kick arse at basketball and you love Breaking Bad and collect stamps. There’s an element of stalking to social media and these little nuggets make us feel more like friends than internet acquaintances. I also want to see you getting drunk with your mates as it makes you seem more like me and less like an untouchable pole deity.

6 Thou Shalt Not Do That Weird Passive Aggressive Thing

“I am so proud of you, you have come so far since I taught you this in my studio and I took a photo and I showed you everything you know about pole”. Yes well done, I’m sure that person couldn’t have possibly made any progress whatsoever in their pole journey without that one time you trained together.

7 Thou Shalt Follow Beginners

Think you can’t learn anything from people who aren’t at your level? Think again. Nothing is as disappointing as normal Pole mortals who get a name for themselves, and suddenly will only interact with other big names

Of course, who you follow on Instagram is entirely your choice. Maybe you like to keep it select as a busy timeline is too addictive. Maybe you don’t like pictures of dogs or quinoa. Maybe you think you can’t learn anything from beginners. You can. Plus who knows where the next big thing will come from?

*I’m actually crap at this. I don’t check Instagram that much and often think I’m following people I’m not. So maybe this Commandment should actually be “Don’t have too many social media accounts”. Let’s face it, nobody needs Google Plus.

8 Thou Shalt Not Get Into Arguments

The Internet is a big place full of people with different opinions. Some of those people may disagree with you but still have interesting points to make. Some of those people are just dicks. In person you may have a wonderful respectful and informative discussion with someone with a different viewpoint to you, from which you may both learn something, but online you can’t convey subtleties of discussion, even with all the emoticons at your disposal. Arguing with strangers on the Internet about pole is time consuming and pointless. You won’t change anyone’s mind, and they won’t change yours. If someone is being obnoxious, chuck it in the f**k it bucket and move on.

9 Thou Shalt Use Hashtags Wisely

Here are some good hashtags to use: #pole #poledance #poleprogress #unitedbypole (you get the idea). And thanks to Shimmy we now know to add #pd to any pole dance move hashtags, ie #pdtitanic to find pics of the pole dance move titanic, rather than pictures of the doomed vessel or a young waterlogged Leonardo DiCaprio. Also check your hashtag spelling, nobody is searching Instagram for #striperheals (but maybe they should). But don’t go mad and hashtag every word #nobody #wants #to #decipher #this.

10 Thou Shalt Not Let Other People Make You Feel Like Crap.

Don’t lose sight of why you go on social media in the first place. It’s to learn, support and encourage, not to feel shit. Don’t resent other people’s achievements. Don’t just see the things you can’t do. Don’t overthink it, don’t feel you need to keep sharing ever more impressive stuff. It’s just social media. If you don’t post every day, guess what? No one minds. No one even notices. There are 7 billion people on this earth, and most of them are only too busy worrying about themselves to care what you post. Don’t let it get you down.

Top Ten Old School Classic Pole Moves

By bexackland@ntlworld.com • November 20, 2020 Uncategorized

Once upon a pole time, there was no such thing as fonjis and flips. Our beautiful art was a relatively simple thing, built on the foundations of our stripper sisters and self taught amateurs. These pioneers spent years not only creating but perfecting the basics upon which our sport was built.

Unless you have taken up pole relatively recently, you may well recall a time when your syllabus did not include a new move every week, when the move of the moment did not spread like wildfire throughout the pole community. A time where the most advanced move you were ever likely to do in the course of the year was a Superman. A time when world champions performed little more than some leg hangs and switches, a long, sweeping climb to the top of the pole, and then something really show stopping… like a jade split.

But here’s the thing. They did those moves to absolute perfection. When there wasn’t pressure to do new moves weekly, polers spent time perfecting and polishing moves until they were flawless. So today I’m taking it back to the old school, revisiting those classic moves upon which our whole community was built. Never mind birds of paradise and rainbow marchenkos, these are the moves you need to nail, classic pole style.

1. Gemini

Originally created by Pantera Blacksmith, who referred to an inside leg hang as a Gemini and an outside leg hang as a Scorpio, polers have been debating which-leg-is-gemini-and-which-is-scorpio ever since. Most schools now seems to refer to Scorpio as an inside leg hang and Gemini as outside (rewriting the creator’s own rules), so for the purposes of this blog I’m going with that.

Gemini is the first actual inverted move I learned, and it was after a good six months of drilling just going upside down. I will still include a Gemini in pretty much every lesson I teach. Not only is it a really pretty move, it is also the gateway into so many more advanced moves, as well as being a fail-safe get out clause if you ever want to bail out of a tricky move. Do this move every time you train, until you can do it in your sleep. You just can’t go wrong.

Gemini by Jo Dandridge

2. Scorpio

To avoid confusion I suppose we could do away with the pretty names and call these move inside leg hang and outside leg hang and just be done with it, but where’s the fun in that? Pole dancing is an art to me and I like the pretty names much more than the sanitising boring descriptive names even if they do make it easier. Interestingly, we have Gemini and Scorpio, and a recent creation called Capricorn, but the other starsigns are yet to show up. Maybe next time a move is created and needs a name we should look to the zodiac for inspiration.

Anyway. Much like Gemini, Scorpio is a gateway into many more advanced moves, from simple foot grab variations to the super Bendy contortion Scorpio/cocoon and bird of paradise, and a must on the to-do list of old school pole moves.

Scorpio by Daniel Rosen, photography by HS Fitography

3. Butterfly

Ah butterfly. How I love you so.The foundation for so many more advanced moves. It is worth getting this gorgeous move absolutely spot on, automatically awesome without even thinking about it, before moving on to exciting things like extended butterfly (or ex butt as we call it ), Ayesha, handsprings and so on. Think “boobs in, bums out” for a nice curve and to get that perfect line from hand to hip that gives you stability. Also try variations like a straight back leg, kicking yourself in the back of the head (ah, if only!) variations like butterfly handstand, one handed butterfly, butterfly from Jamilla or a thousand other moves, and Marion Amber (which isn’t actually anything like butterfly at all, but kinda, and that strong butterfly body position will help)

Butterfly by Carly Miller, photography by the Image Cella

4. Jade

Named after the first letters of the names of its creator, the pole pioneer Jamilla Deville, the jade is a perfect example of an old school pole move that endures. You don’t have to be super splitty to make this look amazing – try attitude/stag leg positions, one or the other leg bent, or with straight legs but angled upwards rather than flat. There’s no getting away from it though – this move does look totally amazing flat, and absolutely incredible in an oversplit. It’s also a great way to condition your side grip for more advanced moves like allegra, or horror of horrors, jallegra (my internal organs are crying at just the thought)

Jade by Kirsty Griffiths, photography by Scrumptious Photography

5. Knee Hold

Yeah this can really hurt but you can’t beat it for a proper old school impressive move. Get the pole in the right place, push hips forward and shoulders back and squeeze your bum cheeks. Try to think of it as hanging from your top knee, rather than pushing on your bottom one. And don’t forget to point your toes! Then try letting your mate stand on you, and do it on spin. See? Old school doesn’t mean easy does it?

Knee Hold, photography by Claire Winters

6. Superman

Here’s one move where we can all agree on a name! A Superman is a Superman, wherever you go. When I first started pole, this was everyone’s nemesis move, and if you could do it, you were the absolute nuts. The first time I ever did Superman I screamed until the windows shook because it hurt like a biyatch, and it took me a year until I could do the move with ease. The main thing that causes pain is gripping on too tight – loosen the thigh grip slightly, and don’t be afraid to drop your hips. I prefer the feet uncrossed as it creates a nicer line, but if your ankles are crossed make sure you point your toes and don’t flex the bottom foot. It looks gorgeous flat, and also curved, like a beautiful poley banana. There are wonderful things to do from here – shoulder mount, titanic, drop into a Scorpio – but you can’t beat the beauty of a classic Superman. And remember – lift chest, hips down, heels up.

Superman by Chloe Westhead, photography by Millie Robson

7. Plank

What a boring name for such a pretty move. We originally called this move Wonder Woman when I first learned it, as it’s basically an inverted Superman, but sadly that wondrous name is not universal. Not as ouchy on the thighs as Superman, and a bit scary for some as you can’t see behind you, this too was once considered an advanced move that took a year to work up to. Ah how the pole world has changed. Squeeze your bum cheeks, push the hips up and heels down (the opposite, obviously, of Superman), don’t flex your bottom foot and voilà, a perfect plank flat and beautiful enough for the queen to eat her dinner off (feel free to select any queen of your choice)

Plank by Justine McLucas, photo by Alethea Austin

8. Cupid

A tricky one for a lot of students, Cupid is in fact a push/pull move rather than a grippy foot move. Aerial Amy has some excellent tutorials on this subject but to summarise as best I can, you need to pull on your top knee, push on your bottom foot, push the hips forward and get your body a long way from the pole rather than staying close. You can go into all sorts from here – butterfly, Marion Amber, holly drops, or just hang out and rest. You can do hands on variations, as well as holding onto the shin or ankle. And if you do this in a photo shoot, try it from the back because all that pushing and pulling and thrusting makes your arse look amazing.

Cupid by Terri Fierce, photography by Phil Darko

9. Cross ankle release

“What’s that you say? I can go upside down… from sitting?!” Why yes fair pupil mine. Yes you can.

Also known as a hangback or layback, this is another move that is scary to some, as you lean backwards unable to see where you are going. But once you find that grip, much like all of these old school moves, this is another pose that is beautiful in and of itself, but also leads into so many more gorgeous moves, from lowering into a handstand, to an iguana grip/bow and arrow, to brass monkey and Janeiro. This move is also perfect for conditioning the thigh grip and skin, which lets face it is a big part of learning a lot of the more advanced moves. Just remember to point that back toe. A flexed foot in a cross ankle release makes us want to cry.

Cross ankle release by Sam Ames. Photography by Phil Darko

10. Shoulder mount

When I first started pole, if you could shoulder mount you really were the business. At first I could not even conceive of how you lifted yourself up, backwards, over your own shoulder, and yes, it is uncomfortable at first. My favourite tip for this move is to imagine you have a laser beam shooting out of your lady parts, and you are going to shoot your beam along the floor, up the wall in front of you, and shine it straight up to the ceiling. This helps you get your hips up nice and high and into the right position. Learn how to hold a straddle first, because as soon as you get your feet on the pole you lose your shoulder grip and it’s possible to slip. There are many grips you can try, and when you are totally badass you can move on to aerial shoulder mounts and all sorts of fancy schmancy stuff… which brings us right back to those fonjis I mentioned earlier…

Shoulder mount by Lauren Cage, photography by the Image Cella

There are many more than just these ten moves. Let’s not forget the amazing basic invert into crucifix, or the joys of a perfectly executed pretty climb. Think of a ballet class, drilling the basics again and again until they are perfect, even at an advanced level. For all of us, from total beginner to champion, practice is key. Show me a beautiful Gemini and it will still take my breath away.

BEXIITA ACKLAND

In It For The Likes – A Pole Evolution

By bexackland@ntlworld.com • November 20, 2020 Uncategorized

Social media is awesome isn’t it? All those pictures to inspire you, all the lovely people you have “met” online, all the advice and support from the pole community right there at you fingertips. It’s brilliant, right?

Until it isn’t.

Until the day you feel like crap, and it reminds you that everyone else is amazing and brilliant and perfect and doing so much better than you are.

This is absolutely nonsense, you know that. You know that for every perfect pole pic you see, there are 10, 20, 30 that didn’t make the cut. You know that no one posts a status about how crap they are feeling this week, and that training left them feeling defeated and deflated and that they may as well give up. Deep down we know it’s all an illusion, that nobody is perfect.

We know all this. We know it. But we all collude in it, we all post pictures ourselves that we know were just a good angle or we harassed our poor mate to take yet another video of that combo to try to get it better this time. Behind every upload is a deleted items folder the size of Everest.

Let’s face it, social media isn’t going anywhere. So let’s look at what we can we do to make it a positive experience.

But first, an evolutionary biology lesson. Bear with me while I don my white coat and sexy specs. Listen carefully, here comes the science bit.

Not actually me. Sorry.

When humankind first roamed the earth, we only ever came into contact with a very small amount of other humans. We couldn’t just get in cars or planes and traverse this great land of ours. It was basically walking, or getting as far as you could on a horse, donkey or other poor put-upon creature that could carry people and stuff.

We lived in small communities, either nomadic tribes or settled villages, of no more than a few hundred people over the course of a lifetime, tops. Imagine living in a small community now, like many of us actually do, but with no phones, no internet, no cars, no buses, no way to leave ever.

Those people you lived with, they were your whole life, and your survival depended on getting on with them. If you were accepted as part of the tribe, you got the protection and safety of the tribe. You got food and shelter when neither were easy to come by. If you were not accepted, you could find yourself at the bottom of the pecking order, with the scraps and rejection of your elders, or even kicked out of the tribe altogether. Getting people to like you was literally the difference between life and death.

When we look at it like this, we can understand that we are DESIGNED to care what others think of us, we have evolved to try to win the approval of others, a craving for admiration and approval is built into our DNA. So next time you get a warm feeling if you get a lot of Instagram likes, or get a buzz from being Bad Kitty Pic Of The Day, or screenshot the notification that your pole idol (your tribal leader) liked your photo (and I know we alllll do that, even pole idols themselves), that is NOT vanity, that is NOT embarrassing, that my pole friends is evolution at work. You have been accepted by your tribe and your safety in the tribe has been guaranteed for another day.

Because there has to be a picture of Wonder Woman in every blog

The problem is this: our lifestyles have now evolved to a point where we do not need the approval of the tribe any more, but our DNA has not caught up. We are connected to the entire world now, meaning our tribe is no longer 40 or 50 people whom we depend upon for survival, but instead an infinite number strangers who make no difference to our lives whatsoever. It really doesn’t matter if they like us or not.

Yet science and evolution and biology and stuff is an almighty thing, and often means we irrationally do care, and give these people the power to make us feel rubbish.

This isn’t the case for everyone, and some people genuinely don’t care (those people often like to tell everyone about how much they don’t care, very loudly, just so we all know, so they must care to a degree or they wouldn’t bother telling us I suppose)

Maybe those people are some sort of hyper evolved X Men types, but for most people, getting a bit of approval from their community feels good. It must do, otherwise why has social media made such a huge impact on our lives, and become an absolutely integral and immovable part of our landscape?

Maybe we just feel it more because the pole community is very much that – a community, and that taps directly into that part out genetic make up that seeks approval and seeks comparison.

300 likes for my hamster. Did you even see my Marion Amber????

So how can we apply this to our social media use? How can this knowledge help us feel good, and get all the good bits of social media and avoid the bad bits?

Let’s break it down:

We enjoy the approval because we are programmed to. So we don’t need to feel bad about that. It’s natural. It’s how we are made. Go ahead and like your likes.

Everyone is doing it. They are doing it because they are human too, and they want approval too, even if they are a superstar pole idol (perhaps even more so, no tribal leader wants to lose their prestigious secure position).

However we don’t need to seek approval anymore. Recognise those feelings of approval, but realise they are meaningless.

Don’t let anyone else’s success make you feel bad. They are just trying to assert their safety in the tribe. Another persons progress will not affect your position in the tribe, because that tribe does not exist any more. You are programmed by nature to feel threatened, but those times are gone. Nature can sod off, basically.

The only tribe you need to impress are your ACTUAL tribe – the family and friends around you. You know, the ones you ignore while you mess about on your phone checking your Instagram likes. See? Evolution is great for Mark Zuckerberg’s business plan, but not for you. Recognise social media for what it is, but don’t let it make you feel bad anymore.

So go ahead and enjoy your social network community. Enjoy the pics and the inspiration and the likes and the comments and the funny videos of cats and get excited by the small things, then put the phone down and go and do something else (after you’ve read my blogs, liked it, commented on it, and shared it, obviously. I’m only human after all ?).

BEXIITA ACKLAND

It’s OK to be average

By bexackland@ntlworld.com • November 20, 2020 Uncategorized

I speak to a lot of people in the pole world – from beginner students to elite champions – and I’ve noticed something that may surprise you. There is an almost universal worry about not being “good enough”, or meeting expectations.

Even people who are totally amazing and incredible and inspirational, behind closed doors (or in the confidence of private messaging) express fears that they are not keeping up, not where they want to be, worried that they will be left behind, or “found out” as not as good as they are thought to be.

The seemingly constant and endless stream of achievements of others creates a tidal wave washing away self confidence and belief, and leaving polers on the shore drenched in self doubt. Why do we even care what other people think? What does it matter? (I did actually address this in my last blog if you care to ponder this question, just make sure you come back here afterwards to read this bit, part two. Go on, it’s OK I’ll wait right here…. OK read it? Good. Let’s continue).

I’m here to tell you, it’s OK not to be perfect.

Remember when you first started pole. It was hard, wasn’t it? And even if you picked it up straight away, it still wasn’t easy. Nobody walks in on day one and leaves with a mastery of the finer points of balance, core strength and skin conditioning. This stuff takes time. A long time. It’s completely normal to take weeks, months, even a year to get upside down safely and competently. Even world champions and pole icons have confessed that it took them 18 months to handspring. We all know this, yet there still seems to be a need to keep up and nail stuff straight away.

Let’s also bear in mind that when you start out, you are working on the basics, and you are likely to pick things up quite quickly, but as you progress, and the moves become harder, they will be more difficult and take more time to master. I have demonstrated this here with the help of this handy graph:

As you can see, progress at the start is fast, but as time goes on, the learning curve starts to level out. It figures that as you progress, your rate of new achievements will slow down. You will go from nailing a new move each week, to getting one every few weeks, or few months, and eventually after a long time, every now and again. This isn’t a bad thing – just because you can’t share an Instagram worthy photo each week doesn’t mean you aren’t progressing. You are instead perfecting what you already know, getting smoother, stronger, more flexible, more confident with the moves you once struggled with. Here’s another handy graph (I got carried away with the app) to reflect the fact that most of the time, I’m working on the bread-and-butter stuff, going over what I already know but can’t do effortlessly yet. That green star, that’s me every now and again when I get a new move. WOOHOO!

As a pole instructor for the best part of a decade, and having taught hundreds and hundreds of women (and indeed men), let me tell you this: most people are not doing the seriously hardcore stuff, and most of them probably won’t – and that’s absolutely fine. It’s better than fine, it’s AMAZING. Where did this belief come from that unless you are aerial handspringing with dead straight legs, then it doesn’t count? Balls to that.

Look at what you are doing! You are upside down and you are holding your own body weight! You are amazing! Please don’t feel that because you are “only intermediate” that your moves aren’t impressive. There’s a reason why every pole school’s intermediate classes are busier than their super advanced classes – because to get to a super advanced level takes years of practice and determination. You may consider yourself “average”, but “average” is already amazing.

It’s great to be exceptional – and there are plenty of exceptional pole dancers out there to inspire you, whatever your style. But the idea of exceptional has become twisted into something we feel we should ALL be. Exceptional has become the expectation, as if we owe it to ourselves, indeed to the world, to shine brighter than everyone else, to be our own beautiful and unique snowflake. In a world of reality TV where even the biggest talent vacuums can become stars, (or at least mildly well-known), “average” has become some sort of insult. Motivation and determination is great, but the truth is, without the “average” pole moves, and indeed the so-called “average” polers, we wouldn’t have a pole community at all.

From the new student who feels like the last one in class to get upside down, the student who takes a little longer than the rest to pick up new moves, the determined student working on the splits that hardly ever seem to get any lower, the breastfeeding mum trying to get back to where she once was, to the pole champ who worries that their best performance is behind them, take it from all the polers who’d love to be able to do what you do – You’re doing great.

BEXIITA ACKLAND

A Muggle’s Guide To Pole Dancers

By bexackland@ntlworld.com • June 20, 2019 Uncategorized

So you are friends with a pole dancer – congratulations! Welcome to our wonderful community. Wait! What are all these photos about? What are these people doing? That looks painful! What on earth is a rainbow marchenko? What are these people on about?

Don’t panic – there is much to learn but sit back and enjoy – here is my non pole dancer’s guide to the pole dancer in your life – AKA a Muggle’s Guide to Pole Dancers.

We love sharing our photos

We love pole photos – they are a brilliant way to track progress, and get tips from others on what we are doing right or wrong. Plus we are proud of our achievements – if you’d spent 18 months trying to do something and then finally managed it, wouldn’t you be proud? That’s longer than it takes to have a baby.

We wear different clothes

We are not used to wearing much clothing. On the pole, it’s for safety reasons – fabric slips off metal poles and we need skin contact to grip to the pole, which is why we have to have as much skin as possible on display. But even off the pole, our wardrobes aren’t like other people’s. Instead of the usual brands everyone knows and covets, we aspire to wear stuff by Vekker and MilaKrasna, and legwarmers and stuff from Pole Junkie and Pole Sweet Pole. This is our uniform.

If we are wearing actual clothes, it will invariably be lycra or leggings of some description because you never know when you will need to stop, drop and split. Also we like to keep warm, because warm means more bendy and less prone to injury, so we like scarves and wrappy type things. We also like to be comfy, because for goodness sake we use up our discomfort quota on the pole. Think Kids From Fame meets Black Swan meets homelessness.

8 inch Pleasers are not what you think

We wear special shoes – known in the muggle world as stripper heels, but officially named (I’m not making this up) Pleasers. You know what I’m talking about – those clear heels Chris Rock does a whole skit about in his Never Scared show. CLEAR HEELS! These are actually professional dance shoes, and believe it or not are a lot easier to walk and dance in than normal shoes. They start low, at 5/6 inches, and go up to 10 inches. Always a big moment when someone announces “Finally ready for 8 inch Pleasers and never going back!” Also not as obscene as it sounds.

CLEAR HEELS! And look, we can store chocolate in them! See, effective AND practical.

We don’t take normal photos

LOL at people who go to landmarks like the Grand Canyon or Eiffel Tower and stand politely in front of it for a photo, smiling with arms casually draped around each other. Nice try, people who set up amusing perspective pics by the Leaning Tower of Pisa so it looks the same size as you. We know however that the only thing to do in any photo anywhere is some ridiculous bendy dancer type pose. Helicopter ride? Handstand. Trafalgar Square? Split. Amusingly named shop? Do that dancer leg-in-the-air thing. You know the thing I mean.

Even better if you are with your poler friends and you can create a whole range of poses in one photo while other people trying to take photos look on impatiently. Sorry, we know it’s annoying, but it’s bloody fun.

Not even sorry

We don’t wear underwear

OK we obviously do wear underwear but usually we can’t be arsed with proper undercrackers. We just wear Off The Pole tops and shorts (all hail Sarah Scott) because they are so comfy, but the good news is that when we DO wear underwear it’s deemed a special occasion and we go all out. Think Sunday Best, sponsored by Agent Provocateur. Actually this might just be me. Should probably have researched this one a bit better. “Dear strangers, please tell me about your underwear choices”. Which brings us to…

We have totally different boundaries of what is inappropriate

We spend so much time in each other’s company, and in such close proximity, that boundaries can become blurred. While it’s not the case that we just feel entitled to touch people without consent, we do spot each other in class and are very much at ease with the human body. Within the industry this translates to conversations which might seem strange but to us are completely normal. Talking about running away to have babies with Sarah Scott? Totally standard. (Sarah Scott even came up on my autocorrect typing that, that’s how standard it is). Convos about your gay friends riding you into next week? Completely OK. Last week one of my pole friends come to stay and we found ourselves having a conversation while she was on the toilet and I was in the bath. Completely normal. It’s a secret club though – if someone outside of the pole community tried this, they’d find themselves in a not inconsiderable amount of trouble.

We are not delicate little flowers

From your very first pole lesson, you will learn that pole is not easy. Bumps, bruises and scrapes are quite normal. Everyone is different, and we are of course responsible with our safety, but don’t be surprised to see the pole dancer in your life bearing bruises, burns, abrasions and callouses with pride, or even without any awareness whatsoever, so normal do these badges of training become.

Hot

We say unusual things

“Can you pass me my foot?”

“Can you just stand there so I don’t die”

“Your arse looks amazing, I want to bite it”

“I didn’t recognise you with your clothes on”

“You need the pole more up your bum crack”

All completely standard, and heard in pole class on a daily basis.

We keep odd hours

If we are studio owners we may make our own hours, but these are built around the times that work best for our students. That might be Friday nights or Sunday afternoons or Wednesday lunchtimes, and we have to build our social lives around that. Even for those who aren’t instructors, you will still probably find that pole class is a priority. We might do our best drinking on Wednesday nights, as weekends are often taken up with workshops and masterclasses. If you hang out with a pole dancer, be prepared for your plans to be bumped in favour of a last-minute floorwork masterclass with a pole icon.

We have different ambitions

You might want to learn a new language, or get a promotion, or travel the world. My life would be complete if I could get my toe to touch my head without crying. Different strokes for different folks and all that…

We eat really well

Hahahahaha I’m already laughing out loud at this one and I haven’t even written it yet. OK let me retitle that: We try to eat really well. Our bodies work better when we fuel them well, and taking nutrition seriously has a big impact on our training. If the pole dancer in your life is preparing for a competition, or planning a photo shoot or is even just in an intense training phase, be prepared for their diet to be taken seriously, and I don’t mean fad diets. This is about nutrition, not weight loss. Essentially we are athletes and our eating habits reflect that. Mostly. Sometimes. OK who fancies a KFC?

We have this thing called Sunday Bumday

Created by the goddess Michelle Shimmy, Sunday Bumday is a weekly celebration of – guess what – the amazing peachy arse that pole gives you. Extra points if your Sunday Bumday picture is creative, unusual or involves a large amount of people. There are even butt selfie tutorials online. It’s also entirely aimed at the pole community, not at titillating men – which pretty much sums up pole completely. Basically we like skimpy clothing and think the human body is a wonderful thing, and we like complimenting each other.

Bad Kitty’s Las Vegas Pole Expo Sunday Bumday. Yes, I’m the only one with my legs apart.

We fully endorse, support and promote body positivity

We don’t care what you body looks like. We don’t care if you haven’t exercised in years or that you are carrying extra weight or have stretch marks or cellulite (guess what, EVERY WOMAN DOES). Lumps and bumps, dodgy tattoos, self harm scars, any pole studio in the world has seen it all. We don’t focus on what your body looks like, we concentrate on what it can do. We aren’t trying to get thigh gaps or zero percent body fat, we are working on strength, flexibility and flow. I see a hundred women in a week in essentially their underwear, and one thing I have learned is there is no such thing as the perfect body. Everyone is different and everyone is perfect in their own way. This community will support you no matter what you look like.

So congratulations on having a pole dancer in your life. In short, if you are looking to hang out with someone fun, fit, healthy, supportive and with a side line in inappropriate humour with a wide array of sparkly knickers, you could do a lot worse than a pole dancer.

BEXIITA ACKLAND

A Muggle’s Guide To Pole Dancers

By bexackland@ntlworld.com • August 20, 2018 Uncategorized

Don’t panic – there is much to learn but sit back and enjoy – here is my non pole dancer’s guide to the pole dancer in your life – AKA a Muggle’s Guide to Pole Dancers.

We love sharing our photos

We wear different clothes

8 inch Pleasers are not what you think

CLEAR HEELS! And look, we can store chocolate in them! See, effective AND practical.

We don’t take normal photos

Not even sorry

We don’t wear underwear

We have totally different boundaries of what is inappropriate

We are not delicate little flowers

Hot

We say unusual things

“Can you pass me my foot?”

“Can you just stand there so I don’t die”

“Your arse looks amazing, I want to bite it”

“I didn’t recognise you with your clothes on”

“You need the pole more up your bum crack”

All completely standard, and heard in pole class on a daily basis.

We keep odd hours

We have different ambitions

We eat really well

We have this thing called Sunday Bumday

Bad Kitty’s Las Vegas Pole Expo Sunday Bumday. Yes, I’m the only one with my legs apart.

We fully endorse, support and promote body positivity

BEXIITA ACKLAND

Aerial Amy – Pole dancing superstar and blogging girl next door

By bexackland@ntlworld.com • May 29, 2014 Uncategorized

Aerial Amy is the New York-based pole dancing superstar and blogger we all feel like we know like a good friend. The ultimate sexy girl next door, she writes intelligent, thoughtful and informative blogs that sum up exactly what we are all thinking! we catch up with Amy and talk pole competitions, online tutorials and freestyling.

REVVED UP POLE: What was your background before you started poling and writing, and how did you get started on your pole journey?

AERIAL AMY: I got started because a friend had a baby, and needed to find herself. She told me about pole, and what it was doing for her confidence and self-image, and some part of it resonated deeply with me and I knew I had to try it for myself. For work, I’ve always been about solving problems, analysing process, and collaborating with people, so it was a natural fit for me to teach at a certain point, and share what I was learning with others in a blog.

RUP: Your blog and website is extremely comprehensive, covering everything from tips on pole moves, photo shoots, music and performances, to what’s in your pole bag – what do you love so much about blogging?

AA: I just love sharing information that I think could be helpful to others. I think it’s really rewarding to know that something that I’ve posted has brought up someone’s spirits or helped them nail a move or even just given them information that they wouldn’t otherwise have had. I never expected that being open in that way would lead to where it has now, I feel really fortunate that there are people out there who appreciate it and connect with what I say.

RUP: You share a lot of very helpful videos and tutorials, which are used by students around the globe. Do you think video and online lessons can ever replace studio based lessons? And what do you think of the idea that video tutorials can “damage” the industry?

AA: Thank you! No, I don’t think they ever can replace studio lessons. Corrections, verbal/physical cues, spotting, and individualized troubleshooting and curriculum can never be fully replaced by online instruction… and neither can the support and camaraderie of a physical studio. Whether or not they’re damaging… I suppose it depends what you mean. Bad instruction can be physical or online. And good instruction– whether it’s free, or costly, online or in person– only is good for our industry. It helps us to build a stronger foundation as a community to be safe, create progressions that make sense, and have higher expectations for what students should receive.

RUP: You have written about competing in pole, and whether competing is right for everyone – do you think there is too much pressure to compete and become a title holder?

AA: I think that a lot of times people get swept up in the great, awesomeness of pole – the supportive environment, the rewarding interpersonal interactions, the positive feedback- and forget about balance, and perspective. The balance point is different for everyone, depending on what they are hoping to achieve and accomplish, and how each person reacts to the internal and external pressure is up to them – as is the end goal in competing. Not everyone is trying to become a title holder – more and more, the average poler that I talk to does it to push themselves, give themselves more goal-directed practice and have something to work towards. I do think it’s a shame that competitions are seen as one of the only ways to achieve high visibility in our community – especially because being a fantastic competitor has nothing to do with your teaching ability, and paying performance gigs (even when you’ve won a competition) are limited. There’s so much investment required to be in a competition and I try to remind people to really do it for themselves, because winning isn’t a ticket to pole fame or fortune or even happiness.

RUP: You have a very open and approachable style both on your blogs and on social media – how important is it that you stay in contact with and communicate with those that you inspire?

AA: I am learning and growing every day. Every time I post something inspirational, it’s because I needed to hear it for myself as well. It’s important to me to be honest and open about who I am and what I’m feeling and thinking because I know that it’s a source of comfort for many of us (including me!!) to know that when we are in moments of frustration, anger, irritation, or whatever else, that we aren’t alone. I like that people I connect with through the blog and through social media feel like I am approachable and on their level, because really I am. I just happened to write a blog. I happen to love teaching pole. And I happen to love pole dancing. I’m just like everyone else.

RUP: You are known for your choreography and pole flow. Do you think too much pressure is being placed on “pole athleticism”, and that dance can take a back seat in many pole fitness classes?

AA: Wow, thanks! I didn’t know that I was, but I appreciate that. I think that the great part about being a studio owner is that you get to try to run your studio the way that you think is best. I think it’s up to each owner, and each instructor, to emphasize the things that they think are important. For me, I’ve been around for nearly a decade of pole, and flow and dance is what I know I will be into for the next two or three decades. I think the physicality of nailing a new trick, and pushing yourself in all aspects, is always important… but I think it’s hard to get people to understand that their best is good enough, or to be happy with what they can do, when they can’t do that super hard trick and that is their focus. Not every trick works or looks good on every person. It’s like drop crotch or high-waisted pants: They don’t look great on everyone. If they looked bad on you, would you save up your hard-earned money to buy them? Would you even WANT to wear them? No, of course not. Tricks are like that too. So I like to think of the athleticism as a byproduct, as part of the complete package of what pole is all about, and not the end goal.

RUP: A lot of women struggle with finding confidence and fluidity when they freestyle. What tips do you have for anyone hoping to add more dance and pole flow to their style?

AA: You just have to do it. You just have to keep trying it and practicing it. You have to get in the studio and put in the time with all different kinds of music, and try on different styles and different transitions and moves and film it and see what feels great and looks good on you and know that all of this will evolve and change over time. It really, really helps, more than anything else I think, to have a good network of people, or one or two trusted pole friends, that you can talk to about freestyle. Because one of the hardest things about freestyling is knowing what you should keep doing, or stop doing, or what to do next without looking or feeling out of sorts. It really helps to have someone there, to be honest, to tell you what they saw, to tell you when they can see growth in you, and to support you through all the awkward and ugly and weird and un-fluid exploration that you need to do. Have nights when you rent out the studio or go to someone’s house, turn up music, and take turns freestyling for each other! Hoot and holler and cheer and tell each other what your favorite parts are. Help each person to understand what the cool thing was that they did that looked awesome that is uniquely them. A freestyle is a conversation that you have with the music, the pole, and your body, and not having anyone to listen and help you figure out what you’re trying to say is really tough.

Kent Pole Championships – my journey from start to finish

By bexackland@ntlworld.com • April 28, 2014 Uncategorized

January 2014 Today I did something I never thought I would do. Ever. Today I registered to compete in the professional category of Kent Pole Championships. My first competition. In fact, my first ever performance.

Just the thought of competing brings me out in a cold sweat. I want to run away and hide in a cave and never come out. How could I ever be good enough to compete? I’ve seen those girls and they are amazing. They blow me away. I’m just not like them and I never could be. So what am I doing entering a competition?

I would quite like to have a go at putting together a routine, just because it’s such a challenge, and totally out of my comfort zone. I might not actually do the competition at all, probably won’t actually, but I can put something together, and then at least I have the option. If it’s any good of course. Which it won’t be.

I’ll be rubbish though. I can’t dance without resortng to MC Hammer and Vanilla Ice moves. Maybe I could do an MC Hammer and Vanilla Ice themed routine!

No. No

What is a theme anyway? What does that mean? An epic tale of my struggle to find a parking space today told thought the medium of interpretative pole dance?

I speak to some pole friends and tell them what I have done. One, Jo, lives in the US and I have never met, but I feel like I have known her for years. Recently she told me she was thinking as she walked to her pole class – it feels like we have been friends for ages even though we never met in person, and I smiled to myself. When I tell how how I feel about this competition, she tells me to take my own advice – be more confident, don’t be afraid, and feel good about yourself. She never fails to cheer me up. She is coming to the UK in the spring and we are going to train together. She is awesome. I am so grateful.

I speak to another friend – one who has become a good friend after getting to know her through pole. She won at Miss Pole Dance last year after entering last minute on a whim. She has told me to compete several times, and claims I will enjoy it. She promises to come and watch. I love her a little bit.

I tell her I will need to give her a nickname so I can talk about her in my blog. She says as long as she is not freak. Vodka freak? I suggest. Conversation deteriorates into singing the chorus of Le Freak by Chic.

I speak to another friend Sophie in the UK. I tell her about my doubts. She doesn’t compete yet but I would love to see her perform and tell her so. We realise we are giving each other the same advice. When I point out that she has the advantage over me in being awesome and amazing and waaaay better than me, amazingly, she tells me she thinks I am better than her at some pole stuff . This is nuts, but does serve to remind me that it’s normal to doubt yourself and no one goes into competitions thinking they are going to smash it.

I think I may get a sparkly outfit for the competition, possibly in red. Or green! I can have a bejewelled bikini made, and then wear it on holiday! This is BRILLIANT! I’m going to enter loads of competitions until I have an entire wardrobe of bespoke bikinis and hotpants. In truth, the idea of a sparkly bikini is one of the most appealing things about the whole competition.

A week later

Maybe some of my students would like to enter? It’s be great for them, to push themselves and show their families and friends how hard they have worked and what they have achieved.

Oh. Students’ universal response to suggestion that they compete is akin to response I would expect if ‘d suggested we all smother ourselves in garlic butter and lay in the sun under a giant magnifying glass.

They all think I should do it though. This is because they think I’m quite good, largely because I’m the only pole dancer they ever see who can do something more than a basic invert, and as we all know, in pole you think everyone is brilliant who can do anything that you can’t.

The initial panic is getting worse though. Maybe that’s why I should do it! Do something every day that scares you! Overcome your fears! You have nothing to fear but fear itself! It will be a triumph of Facebook memes over human worries. Maybe you’ll discover a whole new side of yourself that you did not know existed! Maybe you’ll be awesome and amazing and the crowd will be reduced to tears, possibly throwing themselves to the ground with emotion, flogging themselves, weeping and wailing!

They probably won’t though will they, to be honest. A more likely scenario is that the response will be “that was a bit pants, we thought she’d be better than that”

Actually, a more likely response would be “We have no idea what she’d be like as we have no idea who she is”, in which case I can be as rubbish as I like.

OK, let’s do this. I’m in.

February 2014 Really bad week. Just so much negativity around in the pole world. Sometimes this industry is so supportive, and then other times it seems to tear each other apart, intent on destroying each other and forgetting that it’s just a sport, a dance form, something we love and we are all people just wanting to pole. I don’t want any part of this. I’m an instructor, not a performer. Why am I putting myself up there on a stage just so people can tear me down? I don’t want to do it. I don’t know what I was thinking. I don’t want any part of this.

I text the group of friends who have been supporting me so far. I tell them I’m not going to compete this summer after all. The pole world has been so negative and judgmental and spiteful this past week, I have no idea why I thought it was a good idea to put myself up for such scrutiny. It’s meant to be fun and it isn’t.

I meet up with a friend for a drink, and after the initial chit chat, I say, all casual like: “So anyway I’ve decided I’m not competing in the summer after all”. And then I burst into tears.

The Next Day

Well that was an interesting reaction. I had no idea there was so much pent up emotion there. I get some responses to the texts I sent. Everyone is so lovely and kind and supportive it breaks my heart. I feel like I’m letting them all down, and all my students, and everyone else who has supported me.

Jo from Florida writes a public post on Facebook about how the industry can affect people. She mentions that a friend – ie me – is not competing due to such negativity. There is an overwhelming response, with 100 or so comments from people I don’t even know, sending positivity and support. I feel like a bit of a dick now for throwing a wobbly.

The phone rings and it’s Hannah. I got to know Hannah by chance when I had a spare ticket to a masterclass the the X Pole centre and a friend put us in touch. We met when I picked her up from a layby on the M25 and have been friends ever since. We train regularly together and even host workshops together. Hannah competes regularly and has won titles for her pole dancing. I love her a bit.

After the usual catch-up, Hannah gets down to it: “Right, what’s all this about you not competing? I am coming down there, and dragging you to that competition by your ear!” It’s actually the best I’ve felt about the competition in days. So after much thought, and support from friends, I’m over that wobble and decide, for real, to do it. I’m not going to win so I can relax.

March 2014

My student Ash is also going to compete. I am absolutely thrilled – she is going to put together a contemporary routine which I think will be brilliant – unusual and original, and full of emotion.

I decide to perform in a pole showcase, so I can get an idea of how to put together a routine and see how it feels to get up on stage. I put together something very simple, with nothing too complex, and it goes OK. I actually really enjoy the day, with all the girls backstage, getting ready together, sharing cakes and doing each others hair. It’s like the “Look At Me, I’m Sandra Dee” scene from Grease – but with more hotpants and chalk.

The feedback from the judges is invaluable – I realise that to cope with the nerves, I totally ignored the audience, did not make eye contact once and in fact just looked down and pretended they weren’t there at all. I will need to address this if I am to compete for real. But the thought terrifies me.

I get some great tips from Yvette Austin, who is just one of the nicest people in the industry. If nothing else, this process is introducing me to really good parts of the pole world I never saw before. Basically, Yvette’s advice becomes the entire basis for my routine.

March 2014

OK, so where do I start? A song would be good. This one is nice and slow. That’ll make it easier, right? Won’t have to dance so much and exhaust myself. Can also lay on the floor in an emotive manner a fair bit.

Oh wait. Turns out dancing slowly means holding moves longer and being more controlled. Oh good lord there’s going to be an audience of hundreds and I’m going to have to LOOK AT THEM and acknowledge them and stuff, and smile and make eye contact.

Breathe, breathe.

How about taking on a persona, and playing a role? That way, you can cover all the anxiety in a cloak of character and it’ll neatly take care of that tricky theme dilemma too. What exactly IS a theme? What does that even mean? My theme appears to be prancing about on stage in shorts looking a bit of a dick.

OK so let’s pick a character. By which I mean, let’s go through all your favourite films and see if any have good music. Kill Bill! I love it! Great music, an iconic costume and a feisty persona! How did I not think of this before? I also love this film – I saw it at the cinema when my daughter was three weeks old, and it was my first night out after I had her (and probably last for about a year).

Surely this has been done before? Best have a quick check on YouTube. Hehehe these YouTube videos of animals with human voices dubbed over the top are HILARIOUS.

April 2014

I realise one of the biggest things I have to understand about performing and competing is that, when it comes down to it, you are standing on stage prancing about, and everyone else is sitting there with their Rolos or whatever, watching you in silence. It’s weird. It’s like suddenly standing up in a library or cinema or during a lecture and doing a cartwheel in your knickers. That’s a really hard thing for me to do without feeling like a total nobhead. Even when I’m practicing I feel like a bit of a tit, and then when I show it to another person I’m totally cringing and saying oh god no don’t watch this bit, I look like a twat.

Maybe I should hold up a placard at the start of the routine: “DISCLAIMER: I DON’T KNOW WHAT I’M DOING AND I LOOK RIDICULOUS BUT WE’RE ALL FRIENDS HERE SO DON’T HOLD IT AGAINST ME, OK?”

Right, better get down to some serious choreography. I have an hour after class, should be long enough to get a fair bit of it done.

That evening

I am soaked with sweat, breathing like a pensioner who’s just run the London Marathon or Snickers or whatever it’s called now and think I may vomit. But that’s OK, because I have managed, over this hour of intense workout, to choreograph a whole 20 seconds of my routine. Yes folks, 20 seconds. A whole 7% of the finished piece.

I really am hopeless at choreography. But that’s OK, because I have the perfect pole combination in my head. I have a series of moves in my head all of which will obviously look amazing and be at the perfect optimum angle for the audience and judges. I’ll have a go at them another day, when I can actually breathe again.

27 April 2014

Received the stage measurements this morning and suddenly everything seems very real. I realise I have been avoiding thinking about the competition at all, pretending it’s some far off event that will happen in another lifetime, ideally one where I’m much better at pole than I am in this lifetime.

The main message from people seems to be to have more faith and confidence in myself. But it can’t be that easy can it? If I wake up tomorrow saying “I am bloody amazing, me” will that make my performance better? Aren’t I better knowing my limitations and playing to my strengths instead? Is everyone else entering this comp going in with the belief that they will win? I feel better knowing that I won’t win, like the pressure is off and all that is required of me is to put on the best show I can and entertain the crowd.

Anyway, it’s a good job I haven’t worked out too much of the routine, as the stage plan reveals audience on three sides of the stage, so bearing in mind that I’m looking to perform to the crowd, I’ll need to change some things about.

May 2014

So yeah, may have been a little over enthusiastic with this combo. As Jameson might’ve said to Peter Parker at the Daily Bugle, let’s edit this considerably.

Decide that it might be a good idea to watch some videos of other routines for some inspiration. Last year, I went to watch UKPPC and was amazed by the performanced so use that as a starting point. I remember that I absolutely loved Annalisa Muresu’s winning performance. I’ve already watched it back several (million) times, but now it’s about to become the blueprint for me for how a performance should be done, even though I’m nothing like as good as that and nowhere near as strong. I even go so far as messaging Annalisa for some tips on a move and pretending I’m not a stalker, and she is just the nicest person ever, and becomes an endless source of advice and support. Love this community.

8 May 2014

It’s less than four weeks to go, and today the competitors were announced. In my category, there are six girls – I know a few of them, and am relieved as they are really lovely girls. I think it would be harder to be beat by someone I don’t like, and also I can get behind them and hope they do well. The other girls I don’t know at all, and I resist the temptation to look them up on Facebook and YouTube and see how amazing they are. I stand no chance against the girls I do know, and I don’t need to know that I stand no chance against the others too.

I am using backing dancers for the first minute of my routine, and we are rehearsing regularly. It’s brilliant. I’ve enjoyed the sessions so much, and there has been much piss taking and embarrassing videos. I’m so pleased that my girls are part of this, and will be there with me on the day, and have contributed to the whole thing. Many parts of the dance have become in-jokes among us – “this is the Dingly Dell bit, and this is the bit when Ash rolled into the mirror” – which makes it even more fun when we perform it – as long as we can keep straight faces.

Four weeks to go

I speak to the usual suspects, and get some great positives. Long chat with my mum where I say “but what if I’m craaaaaaaaap… what if I fall on my heeeeeeead…” and she says “Who cares? It’s not like it’s your A levels or degree finals” which is a good point.

I have lunch and a beer with an international pole star and idol of mine who has become a good friend. She says whatever happens, I’m up there performing, while a lot of people don’t even make it that far, so I’ve already done more than most. There’s much high fiving and hugging, and then (because of the beer) she shows me some ideas for floor work in the middle of the bar in Covent Garden.

Three weeks to go

Things are not going as I planned. The competition is in three weeks, I only have 50% of the routine done and what I have got worked out is very scrappy and messy. I’m struggling with even simple moves. I really had absolutely no idea how difficult performing an entire routine would be. I do however have lots of support and advice from wonderful kind people from the pole community who undoubtedly are making this whole process easier, and who must be getting sick to death with my periodic rants and self-absorbed Facebook updates.

I’m not much fun to be around at the moment. I’m stressed, and anxious, and feel useless and defeated. I’m watching what I eat, I’m not drinking, and work is incredibly busy. Every second of every day is accounted for, and any moment of spare time is devoted to practice. I’m not spending time with my kids, and I’m not seeing my friends. When I do, I’m distracted and stressed. Basically, it’s crap, I’m crap and everything is crap.

Best friend has just told me that I am not to enter any more competitions or she will kill me herself. She’s had a rough time of it too, with me banging on endlessly about it and stressing and moaning. I’m seriously never doing this again.

I go to a pole workshop and it happens to be near a friend of mine, so I go to her place afterwards, and she runs me a candlelit bath with Epsom salts and cooks me a nice meal. It’s lovely to have a bit of down time. She’s been my friend for 20 years and she’s coming to support me on the day. I love her.

On the motorway on the way back, it’s pissing down as it always is when I have a long drive. But there is also a rainbow. It’s straight ahead of me, right where I am driving to. It’s a sign! A sign that everything is going to be great and positive!

Don’t be stupid woman. It’s a bit of natural phenomenon. It’s rain, mixed with sunbeams. The sky doesn’t give a toss about your competition. It doesn’t even care about big stuff like famine and world hunger. If it did, it’d go and rain in Africa instead of drizzling on the M25. Nature is a complete cow.

But still, apparently, we are surrounded by signs in the natural world all around us, and we should pay attention to them. And it’s better than moaning all the time.

Two weeks to go.

I have had a bit of an epiphany. I have had lots of messages from friends this week, telling me they are coming to support me. Some are coming from a long way away – four hours or more. Some are staying in hotels over night. It strikes me that they are making a lot of effort and paying a lot of money just to see me (some of them know nothing whatsoever about pole, much less care). I feel really honoured. It strikes me that in fact, I owe it to them to put on a good show. In fact, all of us competitors owe it to everyone who has paid to see us and made the effort to be there to put on a good show. Suddenly it doesn’t seem like a competition any more, but more like a role in a stage production. I know I won’t win or place, so my role is to perform and entertain. Suddenly, it all seems more fun, and rather exciting.

Over the weekend, Jo visits from Florida and I finally get to meet her. She’s absolutely adorable and awesome and it’s great to finally meet her. I feel so uplifted and supported, not only by Jo and her husband Russ’s positivity but also by the support from my students who are having to listen to me moan constantly about how hard I am finding this. I go through my routine with Jo and I show her some possible combos. She gives me some honest feedback and we rejig some parts. By the end of the day, I feel like the routine is 70% done.

One week to go

I make a few more changes, and it feels 90% done. I wonder if it will ever feel 100% done, or if there is always room on the day for a bit of freestyling? I have no experience in this. Maybe some people have their routines nailed to the second, and others wing it a bit. I think I’m definitely a winging it type.

Ash and I go for a practice session where we can use XStages. I have borrowed one from a friend, but my ceiling isn’t high enough for the pole so I have just had to practice with only half the pole, about 3 feet high. Maybe next time I will do an Ewok-themed routine.

Two days to go

It’s two days to the competition. Better actually finish the routine. God I’d kill for a vodka and orange. I’ll be pleased when all this is over. I can’t even remember why I’m doing it now.

My costume has arrived from Pole PerfeXion and it is awesome! Yellow shorts and crop top with black stripes at the side, and a white kimono. I practice in the kimono and it ends up completely hanging off, but the designer Jo assures me we can alter it on Sunday and it will be fine, and I know it will.

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Kimono by Pole PerfeXion

My friend does my nails as a special pre-comp treat – yellow with a black stripe. It’s all feeling a bit real now. I go to the studio and work out the last few bits of floorwork in the corner while another class is going on. Nothing like leaving it to the last minute.

1 day to go

It’s the night before the competition. I just want to chill out, and watch some TV, nothing to stressful (so The Descent is out) or taxing (ditto Inception) so I end up watching a Louis CK stand up routine. I wonder if he gets nervous before a gig? If you screw up your words telling a joke that’s it, no coming back from that. I sometimes stumble my words during a warm up – I often get shoulders and elbows confused – and that makes me look like a dick, but at least I’m not delivering a killer punchline.

Towards the end, I can feel my anxiety levels rising, so I decide to do something practical and iron my kimono. I hate ironing, but it helps. I settle into bed for a read of Michael Caine’s autobiography. I read his account of when he was evacuated as a child during the war, and it’s really upsetting. I can’t imagine living through such a terrible time, or how a child would feel being sent away at such a young age, or indeed how a parent would feel sending their children away and not knowing what might happen to any of the family. It puts everything in perspective. My fears are totally vacuous.

The big day

The big day has arrived. I wake up feeling OK. There’s nothing I can do except my best. It’s too late to change anything so I may as well try to enjoy it. I arrive at the venue and am relieved to see some friendly faces. There’s a nice atmosphere, and it’s great to catch up with some old friends.

I go backstage for a bit, and when I come out, everyone has arrived. I’m inundated with support, as everyone rushes over and gives me a good luck hug. There’s students, lifelong friends, mates from the pole world, training partners, and people I’ve worked with, though I have banned my family as it would make me far too nervous. It’s amazing and I’m really happy, although terrified.

I watch the first part of the competition and my student Ash is amazing. It’s the best performance she has done so far, full of raw emotion and truth. I’m in awe. I look at the other girls and more than a few of us have tears in our eyes.

Backstage it’s a whirl of girls stretching in the corridor and sequins being glued on bodies and costumes.What am I doing? These people are all amazing and talented and a lot better than I am. And they’re all eating nuts and bananas. What am I missing? Am I meant to know about this? Oh god I can’t even get the food right. I sheepishly eat my bacon roll, but I am saved by the fact I have brought along a gluten-free biscuit. I wasn’t entirely sure what gluten is, but now I know: it’ the ingredient that makes food taste nice.

It’s a great atmosphere; everyone’s really cool, there are no diva strops or bitchiness. When it’s time for our category to perform, I’m bricking it. What’s best to do? Run through it in my head? Dedicate the spare time to having one more wee? Check for wardrobe malfunctions? By the time I go out to perform, I’m shaking.

What on earth am I playing at, I don’t belong here with these talented girls. As lines from Creep by Radiohead (what the hell am I doing here? I don’t belong here) run through my head as I am announced and take to the stage.

The music starts and the routine has begun… and then stops. We have a music malfunction. Oh great now I’m totally thrown. We go back to the beginning and start again. It’s all OK but then I get to the pole. All I’m doing is holding it for a pose but I’m already slipping. What’s wrong with me? Handspring: fail. My bottom hand gives way and slides down the pole and that’s that. Oh well, moving on. Shoulder mount: OK, but now I’m upside down there’s no grip. Head is already at the floor and there’s no room to do any of the moves. This pole feels like water! What’s wrong with me? God I’m crap. I knew I should never have done this. Screw this, I’ll just have to freestyle it. Badly. Yep, I’m totally rubbish. I can see the look of disappointment on the faces of my students. The music cuts out again. Well this is going from bad to worse. Oh well, at least it’s nearly over.

I look over to the judges. What are they doing?? They are waving their hands and making frantic chopping gestures. “Bex, stop, Bex stop, start again…” Start again?? Are you kidding me?? No it’s fine, I’ll just finish this dreadful abomination of a routine and go and get some chips and possibly jump off a cliff thank you very much.

And so this is how I found myself, moments from the end of my first competition routine, stood at the judges table drinking their water and being asked to start again, ideally after wiping the pole and with music that didn’t keep cutting out. To cut a long story short, I ended up backstage more nervous than ever, breathing out my arse and sweating like a pig, preparing to do it all over again

Now the pressure is really on. I can’t fuck up TWICE. I wish I was at home watching Deal Or No Deal. I’ve also done the whole routine so the impact will be lost and it’ll be boring for everyone, unless I can actually manage to do it properly this time. Well, at least I can’t do any worse… Nothing to do now but try to enjoy it and do the best I can and hope I don’t screw it up too badly. I can hear the crowd. They seem to be having a good time. I suppose I’d better just try to entertain them and… and what? Smile? Hope they don’t notice the terror? Or that I’m way out of my league? Oh well too late to do anything about it now. Here goes… OK. OK. I’m still alive. I didn’t die. It didn’t go perfectly but it was OK, I think. Took me about 4 years to get into that Marion Amber but there was no way I was giving up on it even if I was still there at 11 o’clock this evening. God I’m glad it’s over. I am going to have such a massive vodka later. It was actually quite fun, more fun than I thought it would be. Can’t wait to see everyone. I hope they enjoyed it. The categories are called up on stage for the results. I’m backstage when I hear they announce my student Ash has won her category and placed first. I go a bit crazy backstage – Ash has worked so hard and was considering pulling out a few days ago. I am ridiculously proud. Everyone wishes each other luck as we are called out for our category’s results. I’m holding a bottle of water as the results are announced and suddenly think oh god I better put this down so I can applaud the winners. And then…

Well holy smoke balls and sweet mother of all things that are good and pure. Unbelievable. I have placed second in the professional category – a category full of incredibly talented girls, all of whom deserve to win and who have been a pleasure to hang out with backstage. I really cannot believe this. Surely this is a dream? This cannot be real. I genuinely was not here to win or place. In the midst of everything, the fear, the self doubt, the hard work, the pressure, the pain and the bruises and the time away from my family and friends, I pretty much forgot why I was here. Now I remember – it was to push myself, to see what I was capable of, to do something I thought I never could. To prove the voices of dissent wrong. To encourage my students to do the same. This has been an amazing journey, and not an easy one, but one I am so glad I took, if only just this once.
Now, where’s that vodka and orange?

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With Ash, who won in her category

To watch the performance, click here *An abridged version of this article appeared on the United Pole Artists website in June 2014 ALL CONTENT COPYRIGHT BEXIITA ACKLAND

Charlee Shae Wagner

By bexackland@ntlworld.com • March 6, 2014 Uncategorized

Utah-based Charlee Shae Wagner’s journey into pole began with seven years as as a competition All-Star Cheerleader. Earning a full-ride scholarship to Weber State University, she soon discovered aerial arts and fell in love with aerial hammock and pole fitness, leading to a career as an instructor at the studio where she lives in Utah, and at workshops around the world.

Charlee has gone on to become one of pole’s leading tricksters, winning Tricks Battle Champion at National Aerial Pole Art 2012, Female Champion at International Pole Masters Cup 2012, Bad Kitty Tricks Battle Champion at Pole Convention 2012, and champion at the North American Pole Dance Championship National Elite 2012, Pole Expo 2012 Pole-A-Palooza and National Aerial Pole Art 2013.

Charlee prides herself on creating never-before-seen moves that push the limits of flexibility and strength – and is responsible for this year’s big hit Move Of The Moment – the Dragon’s Tail.

REVVED UP POLE: So you have recently had a major pole hit on your hands with your famous Dragon’s Tail move that swept like wildfire through the pole community on social media. How does it feel knowing you are such a inspiration, and why do you think the move was such a big hit?

CHARLEE SHAE WAGNER: I am happy that everyone likes my new move! I had no idea that it would be such a big hit and spread all over the world the way it did! I love that I am in a position to inspire so many people to take their pole passion to the next level. I think what makes the Dragon’s Tail so popular is that there are a number of ways get into it, as well as different options to get out of it. You don’t have to be a pro pole dancer to succeed at this trick… It doesn’t take a ton of flexibility or strength, just the correct placement of your body.

RUP: You are very open and approachable on your Facebook page, and share pictures of polers around the world in your Dragon’s Tail move. How important is it to you to stay in contact with and communicate with those you inspire?

CSW: This is HUGE to me! I want anyone and everyone to come to me with questions they have. I absolutely LOVE people and wish to support and help out as many men and women as I can. I think the more that I can share, the happier I am! So really I am just being selfish because I love to inspire, encourage, and be there for everyone!

RUP: You pride yourself on creating new and unusual moves. Do you ever create any moves that don’t make the grade for whatever reason?

CSW: Hahahaha YES! There are many tricks that I have developed, or am in the process developing that definately do not make the cut! Interestingly enough, quite a few of my tricks that did make the grade were discovered by accident. A couple of tricks were created while trying to invent something else. One was inspired when I fell and happened to catch myself… I now call it the Eleenana.

RUP: You are known for your choreography and pole flow. Do you think too much pressure is being placed on “pole athleticism”, and that dance can take a back seat in many pole fitness classes?

CSW: When I first started pole I honestly didn’t care about flowing at all… All I wanted to do were the tricks! No matter how much my instructor told me to take my time and use interesting hands as well as body movement, it just wasn’t what I wanted to practice at the time. Flow didn’t become important to me until I wanted to start performing. I would video myself a lot and realized that I connected almost all my tricks with an outside leg hang or right side up. I didn’t like the way the choppy transitions looked, so I started focusing on flow a lot more. I think that pole is an individual expression. In classes they may only teach the athleticism of pole, but as an individual you can always take the dance to class. When your teacher gives you time to practice the new trick, add a spin and some floor work to the new material you have been taught.

RUP: And what tips do you have for anyone hoping to add more dance and pole flow to their style?

CSW: My biggest suggestion is to watch videos of yourself. If you only get tips and suggestions from other people you won’t be able to find your individual flow and dance. I always tell students, what looks good on me might not look good on you, and the other way around! I think it is also important to freestyle and just feel the music. My most memorable experience that connected me to the dance aspect of pole was taking a freestyle dance class at the Choreography House. Crystal put a blindfold over my eyes and told me to feel the music, move and dance. It was so freeing to not know what I looked like, and just dance! I believe it is really important to disconnect from your brain and just let your body take you.

RUP: Who do you like watching perform at the moment, and who do you think will be the next big thing in the industry?

I love watching everyone perform, to be honest! I think that the uniqueness of this industry is inspiring. However, I LOVE when a dancer can take a move and flow so seamlessly into another move the audience is wowed and didn’t even know what happened. I couldn’t tell you who the next big thing is because there are so many amazing artists popping out from everywhere! Choosing who is my favourite person to watch is like asking me my favourite flavour of ice cream… I pretty much like them all!

RUP: What direction do you see the pole industry going in in the future?

CSW: The future of pole dancing excites me! I think that the competitiveness is just going to go up. As an industry I believe we will begin realizing that the strength is in the dance! What I mean by that is the fluidity and grace should meet with strength and flexibility. In the future, I want pole to incorporate EVERYTHING! I believe the tricks are going to get crazier, the transitions are going to get smoother, and no one is going to be able to deny that it is a sport!

RUP: How much of your success is down to God given talent, and how much is hard graft?

CSW: My background is in cheerleading. I worked my ass off to be the best on my team. By the time I was best on my team, I worked to be the best in the state, then the nation! I have always loved competition, I think it inspires people to push past their boundaries and open up their creative box. I think I have a lot of developed talent for pole because of my cheer background, but I also had to work for everything I have. I wasn’t born flexible, I have spent countless hours stretching and feeling my own body to get as bendy as I can. It surprises me how flexible I have gotten and continue to push my expectations of what is possible for me. If I can do it, with the same patience and dedication anyone can. Pretty much every new combo or trick I try begins rough, it’s not pretty at all. I practice them over and over for hours till I am satisfied. I once had a student that had only ever see me be graceful and always have smooth seamless transitions. One day I invited her to come to one of my personal training days with me. As she watched me try a new trick, her reaction was…”I have never seen you do anything that ugly on a pole.” My response to her was, “everything starts a little sketchy, however, once I get the trick, I then try to make it perfect and pretty!” So I guess to answer your question in a short version… My strength and courage from cheer helped me when I started pole dancing. But as for talent and fluidity on the pole that came completely from hard work.

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