FLOORSOME – Why Floorwork is Awesome

We love pole. Fact. We are pole dancers so it kinda goes with the territory. But there is so much more to “Pole Dancing” than just – well – dancing with a pole. The pole is just the 45mm bit in the middle. But look at all that space around it! All that room to move, and flow, to express a million different emotions in a million different ways. Pole tricks are awesome, but do you know what else is awesome? Floorwork. Floorwork is awesome. It’s…. (drumroll please…) FLOORSOME. Here’s why:

You can do it in clothes

For people who are used to working out in booty shorts and crop tops, it can be a real treat not to have to undress to work out. Not because we don’t love being semi naked (haha. We so totally do) but because sometimes it’s bloody freezing, or we just aren’t feeling it. It makes a nice change to be able to wear clothes.

And not only clothes, but super cool clothes. You can pretend you are in Fame, or that bit in Black Swan where they are all cool and edgy in leg warmers and big slouchy tops and infinity scarves.

And then, when you get a bit hot from all the floorf**kery, you can abandon the homeless look and wear seriously hot sexy gear made from little more than straps of elastic and knee pads and electrical tape, rocking what my friend Sarah likes to call the Combat Slut look.

Ms Blackmilk rocks the Combat Slut (TM) look

You don’t have to worry about grip 

The atmosphere at competitions such as Dance Filthy is fantastically relaxed – and I’m sure part of this is the absence of fear about pole grip. You aren’t constantly worrying about sweaty hands, slippy leg grips or covering your body in your own unique cocktail which mixes the exact correct proportions of chalk, dry hands, mighty grip and dew point for your skin. Floorwork requires no handgrip, and you can sweat away like the sparkly unicorn you are.

You can also cover yourself in body glitter or paint on stage (or at home, you be you) and not worry about compromising your pole grip.

And of course, you can use moisturiser, which all polers know is basically like Christmas.

You get to do hairography 

As a pole dancer I have come to terms with the fact that I am never going to look well groomed. No matter how much time I spend making my hair all smooth and glossy I’m pretty soon going to be ruining it by hanging upside down and sweating. But floorwork demands messy hair! Hair flicks, flips, swishes, swinging ponytails galore (I used to have a short bob, and my hair flicks made me look like Sonic the Hedgehog).

Also there’s less danger involved in hairography on the floor than there is on the pole. Your hair won’t get in the way of your grip, and you won’t look like the girl in The Ring when you are upside down – though you may when you are cat crawling your way towards your victim, but this you can style out in a sultry manner. Let’s face it, all the best things in life mess up your hair. You know exactly what I’m talking about.

All the best things mess up your hair

It’s an all-round workout

Incorporating cardio, flexibility, stamina, plus of course a mental workout (which direction do I need to face to land in a machine gun split?) and a creative, expressive workout (how do I convey the story of my epic search for a parking space today to the music of Massive Attack?), floorwork covers all aspects of fitness.

Get your heart rate up, get sweaty, get super fit, get strong, and work on your all round flexibility and muscular endurance, all without actually having to stand up. This is my kind of exercise.

There’s less chance of dying 

Let’s not pretend romancing the floor is without risks – bashed up knees, friction burns, that bit on the top of your shoulders getting all bruised and knarly, kicked in the face with your own heels, catching your body piercings in your hair flips, potential whiplash… and you might still be overcome with fear when learning fish flops, heel kips or any number of crazy insane heel bangin’ hip poppin’ combos. Still, despite all these lovely attributes, there’s still less risk of dying (just).

It’s less likely you will employ the old “just stand there so I don’t die” line when learning floor work. You won’t plummet to the floor from an aerial Marion Amber when you’re a floor dweller, or risk relocating your collar bone with a fonji. It’s only bruising your spine, bashing into the pole head first,  and burning the tops of your feet ( and everywhere else) you have to worry about now. Great!

Me when someone demos a new pole move

Flow, flow flow…

Freestyling on the pole often demands certain movement – you need to get here, to do this move, and you need this hand here and this contact point here. Floor freestyling allows movement to flow, and let’s face it one thing we all want is more flow. Let the music take you where you want to be.

You can pretend you are in a rock video 

You can romance the floor to any music – from blues to trance to hardcore dubstep. But everyone (by which I mean, me) knows rock music is the best – the devil has all the best tunes after all. And rock music and floorwork go hand in hand. Put on the greatest tunes the devil has to offer, get down on the floor, and get turned up to 11 (this advice is also good when having a shower).

Get to embrace your inner (or outer) stripper 

Enough with the “actually, pole came from mallakham/chinese/Indian culture, and actually it was originally done by men”

No, it didn’t. It came from strip clubs and strippers and that’s a fact. You don’t have try to make it socially acceptable by attributing it to men or whatever Asian/eastern/ancient culture you can think of this week.  Respect where pole came from, embrace it and don’t try to hide it. I’m not going to labour this point as there are people out there who have already said it all, a lot better than I can, but just once more for the people at the back: Pole has it roots in the strip clubs, and rather than move the goalposts of pole (goalpoles?) to make society accept it, hold the goalpoles firm and make society change its attitudes instead. Get down on the floor and embrace your hair flickin’, heel bangin’, hip thrustin’, body wavin’ vagina monsterin’ bad self that you are, shamelessly, with love, and with pride.

BEXIITA

How my pole career began by serving margaritas, dancing on tables and teaching English

I haven’t always been a pole dance instructor. Sometimes I lament the fact that I didn’t find this amazing sport until I was approaching my mid thirties – think of all that time I wasted, all the combos and strengthening I could have been working on for the past fifteen years! I envy the girls who start in their teens, at the peak of physical fitness and flexibility, who don’t get out of bed each morning groaning like a pensioner, whose hands aren’t already becoming twisted and gnarled, or whose joints seize up every time the weather dips below 20 degrees. 

Pole dance didn’t exist back then – or at least, not in the way it does now, with a pole dancing school in every town. At least I can comfort myself with the fact that I wasn’t missing decades of poling going on just on my own doorstep. 

Recently I was discussing with a friend the career I had before motherhood and pole dancing came into my life. Surprisingly for my friend, this career had absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with fitness instructing. And yet, interestingly, I came to the massive realisation that actually, all the jobs that came before this one have, in their own way, contributed hugely to the skills I use every day in teaching pole dancing.

Would you like an 

extended butterfly with that? 

One of my very first jobs was waitressing. While I’m lucky enough – ie. old enough – to have gone to university in the UK in the days before tuition fees, that doesn’t mean we were rolling in cash. I followed the tried-and-tested route of impoverished students everywhere into waitressing to fund our electricity coin-slot meters and textbooks/rock and roll lifestyles (as rock and roll as you can be in Canterbury anyway).

One of the key skills to waitressing was being able to know exactly what was going on with every table in your section – who is waiting for dessert, who will need their drinks refreshed in a couple of minutes, who is between starters and mains, which person didn’t want cheese and who is skipping the entree. It’s like holding 17 ever-changing thoughts in your head simultaneously. 

Think about how it is in pole class: 12 students, all with strengths and weaknesses, all with different attitudes and fears and needs. It’s my job to know exactly how each one is getting on, who will need spotting and who can do this alone, who will need a little extra on top of what we are doing because I know they have already nailed this move. And that tide will constantly change and fluctuate throughout the session, as someone gains confidence and will need to be given the freedom to try it alone, or someone has a bad day and struggles with something they have previously found easy and need a little more encouragement, or maybe a refresh on some key points.

The ability to know exactly what is going on with everyone, and to be aware of it whilst you are dealing with one individual is vital first and foremost for student safety, but also for student satisfaction. Just as diners don’t want to leave a restaurant thinking “well, my waitress was too busy focussing on the big noisy birthday party in the corner and forgot my margarita”, so the pole student does not want to leave class thinking ” well, my instructor just left me in the corner flailing about without a clue” or “I’ve done that move so much I could teach it myself, couldn’t she have given me a variation or something just to break the monotony?”

As a waitress, you also get to say the same things over and over again all day long: Are you ready to order? Can I get you another drink? Is everything OK with your meal? This is true of pole instructing, only this time it’s Point your toes! Engage your abs! Hips over shoulders! Control the core! You get to shout a lot more in pole instructing than you do in waitressing 

Club dancing in the 90s…

…in some very 90s boots

I also worked as a dancer to supplement my university lifestyle. I danced in cages, on stages with featured bands and acts, on a podium next to some of the biggest names in the 90s club scene and was a feature dancer for all the superstar DJs. Not once in all that time did I even touch a pole. It would have helped if I did. I would have fallen over a lot less.

After university, I started training to be an English teacher to 11-18 year olds. I didn’t complete the training, as I quickly learned that teaching (at least, this type of teaching) wasn’t for me, but you can see where the similarities lie with my current job.

One of the things I did like about that teacher training though was the study of the psychology of teaching. I liked learning about all the different ways people learn, and the best ways to approach these different learning styles. This is never more true when teaching a pole class. Some students are visual learners. Some learn by doing. Some prefer to be talked through moves. Some will listen carefully, then immediately forget everything you said. It’s my job to know exactly how to teach each of them, how each will respond differently to each approach and to know which technique to use to get the best response. 

Some students will do nothing until you approach them, and then they will do their absolute best because you are stood right next to them, but the minute you walk away they go back to wiping the pole and nervously watching everyone else. Some are the complete opposite, and fall to pieces when you are with them, putting themselves down and doubting themselves, but the minute you are helping someone else they quietly and determinedly get on with it. These are the people I watch in the mirror, so I know they are safe and what pointers they need, but they don’t know I’m watching them. 

Some students don’t like praise – it makes them feel awkward and embarrassed. Some need constant praise and reassurance. Some need to be the star of the show, and some would never walk through the doors again if even the slightest bit of attention was drawn to them. Aren’t people amazing? It’s my job to spot these details quickly, tailor my teaching to each of them and ensure that all these different types of student can work together as a harmonious group. 

After I left teaching I entered a long career in journalism, and later PR. Admittedly, this has helped me when putting together my business, and enabled me to write all my own company literature and indeed articles such as this. But more than that, it taught me so much about people. Everyone has a story to tell, and more often that not it’s a surprising and unexpected story. I am lucky to hear such stories every day from my students, and getting to know such wonderful people, and I believe this is what has created such a friendly, welcoming pole school – a collection of warm, supportive, loyal, interconnected women for whom pole is so much more than a once weekly fitness class. It’s inspiring to see these woman blossom and grow in confidence as well as in strength, flexibility and coordination, largely thanks to the support of those around them in class.

Then came the career path of motherhood. What did I learn here? So, so much, more than it is possible to write here, or even in a book. Embarrassingly, I hear that maternal voice pop out in class sometimes: “Oh well done!”, I’ll say, clapping my hands, perhaps even jumping up and down a bit. On occasion, I have even heard myself say: “Good girl!” Luckily my students are usually upside down at this point and can’t slap me for being so patronising.

I have been teaching for four years now. I do think that in that time my teaching style has improved, evolved, developed. I think the experience of those years has made me a better teacher than I was when I started out, but when I look back over the past two decades, I can see this journey began long long ago, well before the day I first walked into a pole studio and fell in love. 

Education, training, qualifications: they’re all incredibly important. But experience is infinitely valuable. Everything you are doing is getting you where you are going, taking you where you need to be.

Without knowing it, I have been training to be the best pole dance instructor I can be for twenty years.

BEXIITA

In Pursuit Of Handsprings, And Other Advanced Moves

Every one in the pole world who knows me well knows how much I struggled with handsprings. I just could not do them.

 I believed it was due to a lack of strength (as strength is not my… Err… Strength) and that my upper body just wasn’t cut out for it. But in truth I think it was largely down to fear – that upside down flipping over thing – and of course, lack of technique.

At every masterclass I went to – and I go to a lot – when we got to the handspring bit, half of me was thinking – oh no. Here’s the bit I can’t do. The other half was thinking – maybe today is the day. Maybe this is the time when someone will spot where I’m going wrong and steer me onto the right track and I’ll nail it. And every time, when I asked “can you have a look at my technique and see if I’m doing something wrong?” They’d say “no, you’re absolutely fine. Just keep practicing” Grrrr. How frustrating.

But they were right. It was just practice. I was hoping for some magic wand moment, where they’d say ah! You’re doing it completely wrong! And the problem would be solved. But pole isn’t always like that. I’m not naturally strong. I have to work at it. And sometimes, hard work beats natural talent, when natural talent doesn’t work.

First handspring. Not shown: victory dance afterwards

It took me 17 months to handspring, from the first time I tried it to managing it, just once. Just four weeks short of a year and a half. However, I have spoken to pole icons, world champions, who admitted that despite their amazing strength and talents and all round awesomeness, it also took them a year and a half to handspring too. If it’s good enough for a world champion, then it’s good enough for me.

What seems to have happened in recent years is that advanced moves – like handsprings – have been “demoted” down the difficulty scale. Girls want to handspring in six weeks. Instructors want to jam those girls up in legs-off positions and photograph them to make themselves look good. It seems to have turned into a race for the super advanced moves, rather than building up to them.

If I had one piece of advice for students of pole, it would be this: SLOW DOWN.

Slow down your moves – less kicking and jumping and more lifting. It will make you stronger and fitter, and improve your technique- which means that when you come to attempt the more advanced moves, you will be ready, and prepared, and able.

Slow down your performing – don’t rush, we want to see what you are doing and appreciate it and feel it. Hold your moves, even if you are not on stage. It will look better, more polished, more beautiful. And if you can hold a gemini or a scorpio with no effort or struggle, then moving from there up to the next move will not be such a stretch. It will feel challenging, sure, but it will feel possible, and most importantly, safe. 

Slow down your pole training – spend time nailing each move, perfecting it and holding it, not rushing on to the next one. I know it’s tempting to want to invert on week one and handspring on week two but THERE IS NO RUSH – You are in competition with no one. You have the rest of your life to spend on this journey. Savour it, enjoy it, and you will be a far better poler for it.

The world of pole has come so far. The moves are crazy now, as these athletes take it to the next level, with gravity defying feats, mind blowing strength and flexibility that would put an elastic band to shame. Those moves are amazing and inspiring. But those moves are not the norm – a handspring is still, in fact, an advanced move. Just because more people can do it now who have been training and learning for a long time, it doesn’t make it any less of an achievement.

For me, I realised that being self-taught and trying to handspring without a spotter probably wasn’t the best way to learn, and I invested in some lessons with a fellow instructor I trusted. Boom – I got that handspring in about 15 minutes with her. A combination of technique, support, time, continuous training and getting over the fear. I was so happy, but not as happy as when I taught a student to handspring for the first time myself. It’s a big landmark, as it is nailing any nemesis move, as is inverting for the first time, as is just getting your feet off the ground, as is just walking into class for the first time. 

It’s all a personal journey. It’s about hard work, support and fun, There are no shortcuts. There is no competition

BEXIITA

Pole doesn’t grow on trees

There’s no getting around it: Pole dance lessons are more expensive than most other fitness classes.

Among the Holy Trinity of first questions asked by those interested in starting pole dance classes (“When and where are your classes? What do I wear? How much is it?), the How Much? question is usually the point at which interest fades.

You charge how much for an hour??? 

When I first started pole classes nearly 5 years ago, the lessons were £10 – a very reasonable rate for pole locally, but still twice the price of your average zumba or aerobics class, and this still stands today – wherever you are in the world, and whatever factors affect your local prices, I’m still willing to bet that most pole lessons are considerably higher than your average fitness class.

But pole is not your average fitness class. Here’s what you may think you are paying for:

An hour long fitness class, along the same lines as a zumba class, legs bums & tums or a powerhoop class. There will be a warm up, some bits that make you sweat and ache a bit, then a cool down. You’re charging a lot of money for that!

I see what you’re saying. But in fact, here’s just some of what I’m charging you for:

Firstly, hardware: Studios cost money. Sometimes they are rented spaces, which doesn’t come cheap, especially if the class is small, or there are no-shows. This is why your pole school will thank you for it if you let them know you won’t be making it to class. Sometimes the pole school owns the space, but much like owning your own home, that will still involve a mortgage payment, which will not be small. Even for those lucky few who outright own a space, there will still be business rates, bills, public liability insurance, music licensing and many other costs. So far, no different to other fitness classes, but let’s add on to that the cost of equipment. Crash mats, stretch mats, yoga blocks, stretch bands and mirrors are just the start of it. Your main equipment cost as a school owner will be your poles. Safe, recognised poles are not cheap, and nor should they be. And neither do they last forever – regular maintenance and upkeep will keep your poles safe, but eventually they will need to be replaced. This is one area you do not want your school to scrimp on, and is one of the reasons your classes may cost more than other fitness classes.

On top of that, you are not just paying for one hour’s tuition; in this day and age when time is precious, your lesson will reflect the amount of time your instructor has put into your class – hours of research (OK, watching pole dancing videos on YouTube isn’t exactly a chore, but still…), administrative work that can go on for days, putting together carefully tailored lesson plans that ensure each student’s particular strengths are played to and challenged, plus time spent possibly putting up and taking down poles, all of which eats into your instructor’s working day. We haven’t even touched on marketing, branding, promoting, advertising, website development or hosting events.

But it’s more than just the hardware and time you are paying for in your class cover price. For starters, your instructor should have invested heavily in their own training. This may (or may not) include extensive qualifications and training courses (both in pole and possibly in business skills), but even if it doesn’t, it will hopefully include the not insubstantial costs of their own pole journey – their own lessons, masterclasses, workshops, and primarily their experience – their time honing their craft, sometimes for many years, and their own personal development to keep your classes current and up to date.

Add on to this personal insurance, registration with various recognised bodies and a million other small costs, and suddenly the cost of your lesson becomes hopefully more understandable.

Teaching pole is not a license to print money. Time and again I see people who think this is an easy way to make a living, that you can charge twice the price of any other dance class and rake it in. Wrong, wrong, wrong. As a school it is important not to fall back on the “that’s the going rate” excuse. We need to make sure we are providing value for money.

Many things come into play when setting your prices to your students. I will keep my prices as reasonable as I can. Of course some schools can keep their rates low due to overheads and a thousand other variables. Some costs are fixed, and vary from studio to studio based on circumstances. A larger, better equipped and beautiful studio may charge more than a smaller one. A school whose instructors have an excellent reputation may charge more than another – and bear in mind that that reputation will have been earned with hard work, experience, and many of the factors discussed above. Local economics of course comes into play – prices vary widely throughout the country, in the way that house prices do. But bear in mind that, as with all things, you get what you pay for.

To be an effective teacher, you should never stop being a student. A good pole dance instructor invests time, effort and, yes, money to improving and being the best they can be. It’s what justifies the money we charge to students. Pole does not come for free. Investing in your future is wise.

Yes, pole is more expensive than most fitness classes but when you take these costs into consideration, it begins to represent exhcellent value for money.

The Inner Voice Of A Pole Dance Would-Be Competitor

Every time I think about competing, even the thought of it brings me out in a cold sweat and makes me want to run away and live in a cave, so I don’t think the competition circuit is for me.

I would quite like to have a go at putting together a routine though. Not to compete or anything. Just for myself. 

It’d be rubbish though. I can’t dance without resorting to MC Hammer and Vanilla Ice moves.

Maybe I could do an MC Hammer and Vanilla Ice themed routine!

No. No.

What is a theme anyway? What does that mean? An epic tale of my struggle to find a parking space today told thought the medium of interpretative pole dance?

Anyway, I’m not going to compete so it’s irrelevant. Let’s just get on with these lesson plans and maybe think about hosting a choreography session or putting together a routine to teach it. Or maybe perform at a showcase? If it’s any good, of course. Which it won’t be.

There’s going to be a regional competition! Maybe some of my students would like to enter? It’s be great for them, to push themselves and show their families and friends how hard they have worked and what they have achieved.

I wouldn’t do it though. I’d be busy helping them prepare and teaching them and stuff.

Oh though. I won’t be very good at helping them will I. I know nothing about competing or performing – having, y’know, never done either.

Hmmmm

Students’ universal response to suggestion that they compete in new regional competition is akin to response I would expect if ‘d suggested we all smother ourselves in garlic butter and lay in the sun under a giant magnifying glass.

Students suggest I enter the competition instead. This is because they think I’m quite good, largely because I’m the only pole dancer they ever see who can do something more than a basic invert, and as we all know, in pole you think everyone is brilliant who can do anything that you can’t. 

OK, maybe I’ll have a think about it.

Thinking about it is already making me panic.

Maybe that’s why I should do it! Do something every day that scares you! Overcome your fears! You have nothing to fear but fear itself! It will be a triumph of Facebook memes over human worries. Maybe you’ll discover a whole new side of yourself that you did not know existed! Maybe you’ll be awesome and amazing and the crowd will be reduced to tears, possibly throwing themselves to the ground with emotion, flogging themselves, weeping and wailing!

They probably won’t though will they, to be honest.

A more likely scenario is that the response will be “that was a bit pants, we thought she’d be better than that”

Actually, a more likely response would be “We have no idea what she’d be like as we have no idea who she is”, in which case I can be as rubbish as I like.

Right. OK. I think I’m going to have a go. I’ll apply, and put together a routine, and if I feel like it, and don’t feel like I’m going to die, I’ll go through with it.

Where do I start? A song would be good. This one is nice and slow. That’ll make it easier, right? Won’t have to dance so much and exhaust myself. Can also lay on the floor in an emotive manner a fair bit.

Oh wait. Turns out dancing slowly means holding moves longer and being more controlled.

I’m going to have a costume made too. It’ll be sparkly. Possibly in red. Or green! I can have a bejewelled bikini made, and then wear it on holiday! This is BRILLIANT! I’m going to enter loads of competitions until I have an entire wardrobe of bespoke bikinis and hotpants.

Oh good lord there’s going to be an audience of hundreds and I’m going to have to LOOK AT THEM and acknowledge them and stuff, and smile and make eye contact. 

Breathe, breathe.

How about taking on a persona, and playing a role? That way, you can cover all the anxiety in a cloak of character and it’ll neatly take care of that tricky theme dilemma too. 

OK so let’s pick a character. By which I mean, let’s go through all your favourite films and see if any have good music. 

Well whaddayaknow, here’s the perfect theme. Surely this has been done before? Best have a quick check on YouTube.

Hehehe these YouTube videos of animals with human voices dubbed over the top are HILARIOUS.

Right, better get down to some serious choreography. I have an hour after class, should be long enough to get a fair bit of it done…

I am soaked with sweat, breathing like a pensioner at the top of a mountain and think I may vomit. But that’s OK, because I have managed, over this hour of intense workout, to choreograph a whole 20 seconds of my routine. Yes folks, 20 seconds. A whole 7% of the finished piece.

I really am hopeless at choreography. But that’s OK, because I have the perfect pole combination in my head. I have a series of moves in my head all of which will obviously look amazing and be at the perfect optimum angle for the audience and judges. I’ll have a go at them another day, when I can actually breathe again. 

So yeah, may have been a little over enthusiastic with this combo. As Jameson might’ve said to Peter Parker at the Daily Bugle, let’s edit this considerably. 

Things are not going as I planned. The competition is in two weeks, I only have 50% of the routine done and what I have got worked out is very scrappy and messy. I do however have lots of support and advice from wonderful kind people from the pole community who undoubtedly are making this whole process easier, and who must be getting sick to death with my periodic rants and self-absorbed Facebook updates.

Best friend has just told me that I am not to enter any more competitions or she will kill me herself.

Long drive back from a friend’s house. Ahead is a rainbow. It’s right in front of me, right where I’m driving to. It’s a sign! A sign that everything is going to be great and positive!

Don’t be stupid woman. It’s a bit of natural phenomenon. It’s rain, mixed with sunbeams. The sky doesn’t give a toss about your competition. It doesn’t even care about big stuff like famine and world hunger. If it did, it’d go and rain in Africa instead of drizzling on the M25. Nature is a complete cow.

But still, apparently, we are surrounded by signs in the natural world all around us, and we should pay attention to them. And it’s better than moaning all the time.

It’s two days to the competition. Better actually finish the routine. God I’d kill for a vodka and orange. I’ll be pleased when all this is over. I can’t even remember why I’m doing it now.

The big day has arrived. What am I doing? These people are all amazing and talented and a lot better than I am. And they’re all eating nuts and bananas. What am I missing? Am I meant to know about this? Oh god I can’t even get the food right.

OK it’s my turn to perform. Nothing to do now but try to enjoy it and do the best I can and hope I don’t screw it up too badly. I can hear the crowd. They seem to be having a good time. I suppose I’d better just try to entertain them and… and what? Smile? Hope they don’t notice the terror? Or that I’m way out of my league? Oh well too late to do anything about it now. Here goes…

OK. OK. I’m still alive. I didn’t die. It didn’t go perfectly but it was OK, I think. God I’m glad it’s over. I am going to have such a massive vodka later. It was actually quite fun, more fun than I thought it would be. Can’t wait to see everyone. I hope they enjoyed it.

Well holy smoke balls and sweet mother of all things that are good and pure. Unbelievable. I have placed second in the professional category – a category full of incredibly talented girls, all of whom deserve to win and who have been a pleasure to hang out with backstage. I really cannot believe this. Surely this is a dream? This cannot be real. 

I genuinely was not here to win or place. In the midst of everything, the fear, the self doubt, the hard work, the pressure, the pain and the bruises and the time away from my family and friends, I pretty much forgot why I was here. Now I remember – it was to push myself, to see what I was capable of, to do something I thought I never could. To prove the voices of dissent wrong. To encourage my students to do the same. This has been an amazing journey, and not an easy one, but one I am so glad I took.

Now, where’s that vodka and orange?

And my student Ash won the beginner category!

Are We Not Drawn Onward, We Few, Drawn Onward To New Era?

We pole dancers, are we not drawn onward to a new era of pole moves?

OK, don’t panic. This isn’t really a poetic and pretentious blog topic about the dawning of the age of a million new pole moves. As an English scholar, former journalist and word geek, I kinda have a thing for words. This doesn’t mean I am silently judging your grammar. But it does mean I have things like a “favourite palindrome”. In fact, I have a top three. But my favourite is:

A palindrome, for those not as desperately nerdy and tragic as me, is a phrase that reads the same backwards as it does forwards. You’re checking it now aren’t you? Go on, check it. It really does. Unless I have made a typo which occasionally happens, even with grammar nazis.

But what does all this have to do with pole?

Whilst reading lists of palindromes on holiday (yes that happened), it got me thinking, about things that work backwards as well as forwards. And this applies hugely to pole.

I am a strong believer in training down as well as up. There are so many different forces at work during pole training, from strength and lifting to gravity. We all know how to work up to an invert, lifting, pushing the hips up, using the arms and the core, the change in weight distribution. But what happens when we get there? Do we – or our students – slide down the pole (controlled and steady of course), or do we unhook the legs and go back down the way we came?

I think there is great value in the slide-down-the-pole technique – it is a safe way down (tuck chin to chest, thereby arriving at the floor on your shoulders and not your head); it improves and practices grip, and teaches how to release it a little, but not too much; and it is a reassuring way down for the nervous student, easy for an instructor to spot and a good go-to comfort move for students progressing on to more inverted moves.

However, as students get stronger, I like to introduce “training down”. I don’t mean let go with the legs and *splat*. I mean engaging the core and upper body, and trying to reverse the invert, coming down slowly and controlled. Take, for example, the chopper/overhead straddle/flying V/whatever you call it. Anyway this move:

Now, this move looks great when a poler lifts into it, with straight legs from ground to air. But we also know that’s hard, and it’s much more likely that – certainly whilst learning this move – there will be an element of kicking and/or bent legs going on (I’m not going to get into whether we should or shouldn’t kick into inverts – maybe another day. But suffice to say whether we should or shouldn’t, people WILL kick into this move).

My favourite way to train for the straight leg deadlift into this move is to train DOWN. Take this position as the start, and slowly, slowly, lower down, using the abs, the arms, the shoulders, the back, hell using ANYTHING and EVERYTHING to lower, lower, lower. You may only lower a few inches before *splat*, because gravity will be pushing you down. (Don’t be hard on gravity – that’s gravity’s job. We just have to fight gravity. In a nice, pacifist way of course. Let’s not forget we need gravity for many pole moves) But the more you train this move down, the further you will get.

Now let’s apply the same principle to other moves. Before learning to handspring or ayesha, lower into those moves from an invert. That way you practice the move without relying on momentum. When you are familiar with those positions, then work on training up into them – and don’t just work on lifting up into headstands or handstands – bring them down slowly.  Don’t just kick up into handsprings, come back down in a controlled manner too. LOWER you shoulder mount until eventually you can lift it. Lower your ayesha to the ground until your can deadlift it. If you want to take it further, lower it and HOLD it there, in a shoulder mount planche, or an iron x. Go back up if you like, and lower all over again , you badass b*tch. Get into the habit of lowering EVERYTHING, every invert, every move, instead of taking the *splat* onto the crash mat option.

Remember pole is 90% training and 10% show. The final move will be a great achievement, but that isn’t what’s making you fit. The training towards it is what’s building your strength, your ability and your fitness level. Build training down into your 90% and your 10% will be easier, faster and more awesome. Make gravity your friend, make her your b*tch if you like, but make her work for you. Gravity is a law, and like all laws it can be broken. Some things work just as well backwards as they do forwards. Are we not drawn onward, we few, drawn onward to new era? Yes, of course we are.

BEXIITA

Top Ten Moments In Your Pole Journey

In everyone’s pole journey, there are those moments that make you go “Ooooh!” Moments that make you feel you are getting somewhere. Moments that add together to make a big ball of pole love. Moments that make you feel on top of the world. Following an extensive poll (or pole haha) of the worldwide pole community (ie my pole mates) by an experienced pole know-it-all (ie me), here are the most popular top ten moments in your pole journey

Except there are 11. Because I couldn’t narrow it down to 10.

1. Your first spin


It’s your first time on a pole – and your first spin. It will probably be a fireman spin (or any one of the million names this two handed cross ankle spin goes by). You may recognise this spin as the one always used by pole dancing extras in the background of strip clubs on TV.

Your feet are off the ground. You are supporting your weight, albeit briefly, with your arms. You are spinning around the pole and looking gorgeous – yes you really are, a lot more gorgeous than you know! 

Congratulations. You have taken your very first step on your pole journey.

2. Your first pole climb


What, how on earth, you want me to what?? Climb a pole? A smooth, shiny, tall narrow pole? With my legs? Which are soft and squishy and possibly not been seen in public for quite some time?

Yes. And you can do it – you just need to know how. And when you do, and you take off first one hand, and then the other, you will feel like you are standing on top of the world.

3. Your first pole sit

Owwwwwwww oww oww how on earth do you do this?! My thighs!!!

Yes we pole dancers have a somewhat masochistic streak. I promise it will get better. But for now, you are holding your body weight between your thighs, sitting beautifully and elegantly and SOMEONE TAKE A PICTURE QUICK BEFORE MY THIGHS CATCH FIRE

4. Your first invert

There’s no question – this is possibly the biggest moment in your pole journey. For some, they flip upside down first time. For others, it becomes a personal battle lasting weeks, or even months of trying. Both are completely “normal”. 

1st inverts are always a cause for celebration 

If you are struggling, take a step back and continue working on the prep and conditioning your instructor will (or should) have been working on with you, but don’t lose hope. It feels like an insurmountable mountain sometimes but it WILL happen, and then you will a) feel like an unstoppable force of nature, albeit an exhausted sweaty one, and b) panic slightly about what to do next. Which brings us to…

5. Your first “proper” move

Whether it be a Gemini, a Scorpio, a butterfly or another beautiful move from the extensive repertoire of first inverted moves, to be able to take the seeming impossibility and difficulty of actually getting upside down, and then turn it into something beautiful is a major milestone. 

Behold the face of my lovely student Sarah, who spent months saying “I’m slipping! I can’t!” before finally having the confidence to release into this perfect gemini and realise her own awesomeness. Incidentally, following this breakthrough, Sarah now gets any move I show her pretty much straight away, proving the old adage that confidence is key, especially in pole.

6. First superman

Without question, superman came up again and again as the first move that polers felt was a big move, that took them from intermediate to advanced level with a twist of the torso and a chafe of the thighs. There are a million ways to get into it (OK, not a million but at least 12) and let’s face it, it burns like holy water on Regan Macneil in the Exorcist, but when you get there you smile through the pain because YOU DID IT!!! And as you practice it, it won’t hurt any more. Promise. 

7. First nemesis move

All polers, even professional ones, will have a move that still scares them. It might be something simple. It might be something they once slipped out of or just couldn’t nail whilst everyone else was flying into first time and they got a mental block. 

Or maybe it’s just a move that eludes you, because you can’t get past the pain, or you just don’t quite bend that way, or you just can’t make sense of it. Sometimes all you need to do is leave it, come back to it in a month, a year, two years, or train with someone who can help you understand it, or you just have a good day and BOOM. Nemesis move nailed. Who ever thought you would have this one in the bag! Who ever thought you would struggle with something so simple! But there you are. That’s pole, and we are not all the same. 

8. First handspring

The thing about handsprings is, it’s all or nothing. Either you do it, or you don’t. There’s no middle ground, no – oh well, you managed to turn it into something else instead that also looked pretty. Nope, it’s handspring or bust, and it often takes a long time to learn – several huge pole icons have told me it took a year or 18 months for them to handspring. I think this is why a lot of people give up on it. 

But even if it takes you five minutes to master, it’s still a huge moment – you are holding yourself in mid air, without anything on the pole but your hands! As a beginner, this seems impossible! But here you are, you wonder of nature, doing what you never thought you could. 

Here’s (one of) my first handsprings

9. Dancing in heels

Heels may not be your thing. You may consider yourself a bona fide “pole athlete” and not feel comfortable at all with the hip rolling, floor working, hair flicking thing. And that’s fine – there are many facets to pole and nobody says you have to be queen and master of all of them. But it’s likely at some point you will have a crack at dancing in heels. And who knows what might happen?

Your legs look longer, your posture changes, you have to get a whole extra 7 inches of your heels past the pole before you can hook on. And it’s damn hard. Even if you never pole in heels again, you will undoubtedly come away from the experience with a renewed respect for the girls who make this look easy.

10. Your first pole photo shoot

Now this is a whole different ball game. It’s time to take what you have learned over the past *insert here how long you have been poling* and showcase that on film. What to wear? What poses to do? It’s a little project all on its own. And you may be surprised at how much hard work it is – after all, you might have to hold those moves longer than you usually do, and you might have to do them again and again until you get your angle right, or your hair out of your face, or you’re not grimacing. 

But when you get your photos, it will all be worth it. “Is that me?” “I never thought I could look like that!” “I had no idea I had muscles like that!” A professional photographer will capture you at your very best, and will highlight your talents in a way an iPhone in a studio just cannot.

11. Your first performance

Now we are getting to the serious end of things. At some point in your pole journey you might want to perform, Maybe you are an experienced performer. Maybe you’ve never stood on a stage in your life but hey, it’s now or never, and you’ll never make it to the X Factor finals so it’ll have to be pole. Maybe it’s a competition, or a showcase or a demonstration at a country fair. It makes no difference – you are getting up there and putting what you have learned together into a performance and experiencing a whole side of the pole world you never have before. And can we just give you a massive hand for getting up there to perform for us, for putting yourself up there to be watched and judged and owning that stage. Not everyone will do this. Not many people will do this. So massive pat on the back to you for being the one that does. We salute you. 

Did I miss any? What were the major landmarks on your pole journey?

BEXIITA

Dos And Don’ts Of Your Pole Class

Don’t moisturise

The most basic rule of pole, known by everyone who has taken a pole class: moisturiser is the enemy – you will slide straight off the pole. Say goodbye to soft hands, glossy skin and strokeable thighs. You won’t be needing those anyway. Welcome to a world of calloused hands, rhino skin and flaky shins. Believe me, you’ll be thankful for those tough thighs when you come to learn superman. 

Do respect the times of your class

You might not like the warm up. You might not be a fan of cardio work, or stretching, but the warm up is there for a reason. Turning up late means your body is not ready for the class, putting you at risk of injury. It’s also a distraction for everyone else as you rush in, all fabulous and fashionably late, trailing legwarmers and autograph hunters, or at least issuing explanations about vomiting children or collapsing cats. Of course everyone is late sometimes, and of course it’s not a problem and your instructor should, time permitting, be able to manage your safe warm up, but if it’s a regular thing it might be worth investing in a really big, accurate clock. Like Big Ben, for example. 

Flav is always on time to pole class

Similarly, don’t turn up unannounced 45 minutes early, when your instructor may be holding a private lesson, having a meeting, catching up with paperwork or preparing the studio for your class – unless you are happy to get on the rubber gloves and help. Studios take a lot of work to run smoothly, and there is more admin than you can possibly imagine. If you are going to be early, drop your instructor a text. More often than not, she or he will be happy to hang out and chat, but it’s best just to check.

Don’t adjust the heating or air conditioning 

If you are too hot, or cold, please ask your instructor to adjust the temperature – please don’t do it yourself! If you turn off the heating and we don’t know, then in the classes following yours the studio will be cold. It is important to maintain the correct temperature from a safety point of view – muscles respond to temperature, and cold muscles are more prone to damage. Also, even though you may be too hot, the rest of the class may be cold. You wouldn’t adjust the thermostat in your friends’ house unless you are a weirdo. Ask your instructor.


Do make sure you are paid up or have your money

“Hello barman, I’d like a bottle of Bollinger, a Grey Goose and a packet of cheese and onion crisps please. Only can I pay you next week because I left my purse in the car and I don’t get paid until next week”.

“Why yes! After all I don’t have bills to pay and I’m not offering any sort of skilled expertise or quality product”.

Do I need to say anything else?

Listen: As with all of these points, if you communicate with your instructor, depending on your school’s policy, more often than not an arrangement can be reached. But if you regularly turn up without money, make me chase you for weeks or in the case of one notorious non-payer I once had, actually go to the cash point and “accidentally” only withdraw half the money and then suddenly forget the PIN you entered not 30 seconds ago, you make yourself look untrustworthy, and you are insulting the majority of students who pay on time, promptly and without being chased. That shows respect. And respect gets you a long way. 

Don’t use spray tan

Or should this be “don’t lie about using spray tan”.

Picture the scene: strangely orange student with muddy looking knees, elbows and tell tale tide marks around the ankles is slipping all over the place. 

“Why am I so slippy today?!” she wails. 

“Your spray tan has made your skin slippy, in much the same way moisturiser would. No big deal, let’s work on something that doesn’t require so much grip this week”

“But I’m not wearing fake tan!” she protests.

Oh sweetie. We can see it. We can smell it. It smells like biscuits and wafers. You may have had it done several days ago and your skin may be squeaky clean, but when you work up a sweat, your spray tan comes out of your pores and makes you slip. It’s possible to get a fantastically flawless spray tan rather than a dodgy, speckled, neapolitan ice cream combo of white, brown and furiously scrubbed pink bits, but even the flawless ones won’t help your grip. If you must tan, it’s going to happen. So maybe this should be: Don’t be surprised if you use fake tan and slip.

I don’t use spray tan, this is my natural colour, I can’t even with the fake look

Do share the space

Two to a pole can be great fun. You get to hang out with your pole buddy, learn from each other, share tips, take photos, have a breather in between moves and enjoy all sorts of awesomeness. But no one likes a pole hogger. Respect the space, take turns, but don’t panic about taking your time either. Don’t feel you have to rush through the move so your partner can have their turn. With any luck you’ll fall into a natural rhythm that suits you both. As a rule of thumb, having 2 or 3 goes at a move is about right before swapping. And don’t forget to share any tips you might have with your partner as you learn… but…

Don’t teach

You are paying a not insignificant amount of money for someone’s expertise. That fee is justified by extensive qualifications and training, masterclasses, workshops, experience, training and insurance (amongst other things – for more on the value of good pole classes, read my blog on Pole Doesn’t Grow On Trees here). If you have some helpful tips, please share them, and offer support to your fellow students. But there is a fine line between this and instructing someone based on something you have done before or have seen on YouTube. Your pole buddy may not be ready for it, or may have an injury or an issue which your instructor knows about but you don’t. Don’t be scared to offer help, or spot moves if your instructor has shown you how to do this safely, but remember that you are paying your instructor for a reason. Leave the teaching to them.

Do take care of personal hygiene

This is an obvious one you would think wouldn’t you. And I would like to thank all my lovely sweet smelling students who endlessly apologise when they start sweating in class (that’s what you are meant to do!) and warn me when I approach them to spot them in a move, despite the fact that they don’t smell unpleasant at all.

Let’s get this straight: fresh sweat doesn’t smell bad.  It’s the sign of a hard workout, of determination, the smell of a thousand gyms and studios throughout the land. As a fitness instructor, I’m used to it. It’s normal and acceptable. Here’s what’s not: cheesy feet, bad breath, body odour, a basic lack of hygiene. Honestly? These students are few and far between. But for those few, a quick shower once a day is enough to take care of all these issues. It’s not hard guys. 

Don’t talk when your instructor is teaching

Talking over your teacher makes it difficult for the other students to hear, distracts the instructor and means that you won’t hear what you are being taught either. When the instructor is supposed to be spotting other students in the move they just taught and supervising their technique, you’ll find yourself asking him or her to go through everything again because you missed it, which is disrespectful to those who were listening and who need your instructor’s attention. And if you have just arrived for your class and are waiting for the class before yours to finish, don’t chat all through their lesson and cool down. There are only three acceptable reasons to interrupt your instructor: to ask for further explanation, if it’s snowing, or if a celebrity has just died.  

Do tidy up after yourself 

Drinks bottles, sweet wrappers, used plasters, liquid chalk, cigarette butts outside… students, I love you dearly but I am not your mother. Please use the bins provided and leave the space as you found it. This blog is making me sound like a nagging old bag now. I don’t mean to. Things that are acceptable to leave at the studio: heels, glittery things, sexy shorts, sequins, Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups, your dignity, naked photos of Justin Timberlake. 

Don’t worry about what you, or anyone else, looks like

I don’t care that you have borrowed your boyfriend’s boxers, or the only shorts you have are pyjama bottoms. I don’t care that your T shirt isn’t from MilaKrasna. I don’t care if you are carrying a few extra pounds, or have had eating disorders in the past, or issues with self harming, or stretch marks or scars or any of the things you might be worried about. I just care that you are there. I think that’s an amazing step to take and I will provide you with a safe and non judgmental environment to continue taking those steps. Think about it – are you looking at everyone else and judging them? No. And they are not judging you either, I promise. 


Do take photos 

Taking photos is a great learning tool. It’s the easiest way to track progress, to see how your gemini now varies from your very first one, how much your flexibility has improved, or how much that old hair colour absolutely did not suit you. Photos are also a great communication tool – when you are upside down clinging on for dear life, your instructor’s cry of “leg down! leg down!” is likely to make less sense than those websites helping you with HTML. But with a photo in front of you, your teacher can point to the leg in question, and explain where she would like to see it instead. Ahhhh it makes sense now! Photos are also great when you want to revisit a move but can’t remember the name. “Can we do that one where you’re upside down and your leg is on the pole and the pole is here… or is it there… and the arm is up here somewhere and oh I can’t even remember it now…” A photo here saves everyone’s time and sanity. Plus, it’s always amusing to look at what people are doing in the background. Just don’t get distracted by text messages, Snapchat and Facebook. 

Do listen to your body

If you are ill, stay at home. If you are injured, communicate with your instructor so he or she knows your limitations. If you hurt yourself in class, let your teacher know, but listen to your body. Pole does hurt, it burns and it’s tough, but there’s a normal amount of healthy struggle, and there’s harming yourself. That whole “pain is failure leaving the body” stuff is crap. Your instructor is not a doctor. They can help and advise you, but only you know how something truly feels, and if it doesn’t feel right, don’t do it. Nothing is worth risking injury, not even conquering that nemesis move.

Don’t rush to get ahead 

Pole is a journey. A wonderful journey built on a foundation of core moves. If I had one piece of advice for students it would be this: slow down. Spend time nailing each move, perfecting it and holding it, not rushing onto the next one. I know it’s tempting to want to invert on week one and handspring on week two but there is no rush – you are in competition with nobody. You have the rest of your life to spend on this journey. Savour it, enjoy it, and you will be a far better poler for it.

Pole Picture Perfect

Photo shoots – the amount of planning that goes into them can sometimes rival that of a wedding. Spray tans, lashes, costumes, hair, make up, and that’s before you even get to the most important bit, the actual pole moves themselves. Having done so many pole photo shoots now that social media is about ready to kill me, here are my top ten tips to make your big day go with a bang. Or rather, a flash.

1. Make a list

The most obvious point, but it’s surprising how many times people turn up to a shoot with no list of moves, or a list in their heads. If you have that sort of memory, great, but without a list your photographer or assistant can’t see what moves you are talking about and trying to achieve. For most shoots you get an allocated amount of time, and when a photographer is shooting 20 or 30 dancers, that time has to be pretty rigidly stuck to so that the whole two day shoot doesn’t overrun. Don’t waste your precious and expensive time saying “What’s that move where you leg is like this and your arm is like that and you’re sort of splitty but not really…”

If you don’t know the names of moves, just have photos on your phone or printed out, even if they are crappy images. We can see exactly what you are trying to do at the angle you mean in an instant.

Have a list, dress comfortably, keep warm and stretch

2. Turn up naked

OK, don’t actually turn up naked, but think loose and comfortable clothes, that will keep you warm and able to stretch. Don’t wear anything prior to the shoot that will leave marks on your body – tight seams on leggings, ankle socks, bra straps, tight knickers and hairbands round your wrist will all leave marks that last for hours.  Technically your photographer can edit these out, but wouldn’t you rather they were editing your bootilicious bod to flawless perfection instead of those lines round your ankles?

3. Labels suck

Even designer labels suck. Get rid of them. Peel the sticky label off the bottom of your shoes the second you get them out of the box. Cut the labels out of all your outfits – crop tops, bra tops, shorts, knickers – everything. Technically these COULD be photoshopped out by your photographer, but only if photo editing is included in the price, and why make life difficult? You already know your shoe size, and the washing instructions will only say “hand wash only”, which let face it you’ll ignore and shove it in the washing machine anyway, so you don’t need the labels. Snip them off. All labels – begone.

4. It’s all about angles

Pole is all about angles – much like football and sex, as one old friend helpfully told me (yeah, it was that sort of friend). Practice which way to invert so you are facing the right way for your shot. The backdrop is static so the photographer can’t move about too much to get the right angle. On your list of pole poses, next to each move draw an arrow to indicate which way you should face to invert or climb or whatever. The hardest bit of pole moves is getting into them, so minimise that bit as much as you can. Invert only once and save your energy for being as fabulous as possible in your move.

Angles. All the time.

Just because a move look impressive in the studio or on stage, it does’t necessarily mean it will make a good photo. Beware of moves that truncate your limbs and chop you off at the knee or elbow (cross knee release, Q, dangerous bird), poses that shorten your arms, legs or torso (superman front on), or are less than flattering to your stomach (oh so many!). Angles are always key, but some moves just don’t translate that well, especially (creepy word alert!) gusset exposure moves. I’ve never managed to get a nice photo of a teddy or a wrist seat without it looking gynaecological, though I’m sure it’s possible. Work your clothes too – many pole outfits have pretty detailing at the back, so think about moves that look nice from behind – allegra, Q, pole climbs, crucifix hang, genevieve – and show off your costume and back muscles. If you have a nice bum, or arms, or calves, or earlobes (what? It could happen) work your angles and find a way to show them off.

5. Don’t worry about slipping

If you are slipping in a move, just hold it. You can still get a good photo, and it won’t show that you are slipping. If however you start yelling “I’m slipping! Oh my gawd I’m slipping! Argh!” then that shot is ruined. Keep your face serene, don’t talk, just slide gracefully to the ground.

6. Fuel up

Make sure you eat well before your shoot. Everyone wants to look their best but if you crash diet before your shoot you will have no energy and be unable to do your moves. Don’t underestimate how gruelling a shoot can be, and fuel up accordingly. Don’t cut out food groups, ramp up the protein, stay away from sugar and foods that bloat you, bring loads of water, and bury your face in a mountain of chocolate afterwards.

7. Create a playlist

It is sometimes possible to play your own music at a shoot. Load up your iPod with songs that get you in the mood to get your pole on, and bring it along to your shoot. It can make the world of difference, especially if you are feeling nervous. Just don’t forget it afterwards and remember halfway along the motorway like I always do.

8. Work with your photographer

It’s the photographer’s job to make you look fabulous, with flattering lighting and creative input, but it’s your job to be prepared. Turn up ready, warmed up, stretched, and list in hand, and tell the photographer what it is you want. You can keep it super simple, with one uncomplicated outfit, or mix it up with costume changes. You can go for a theme, or a high concept shoot with props and make up and effects. Listen to your photographer and work with him or her to create what you want.

Don Curry brings out the sexy

9. Keep it simple

Remember, often the simple poses are the most beautiful and effective. A pretty pole sit, a pin up pose, a sexy bum shot, a hair flicky climb, a beautifully held gemini. Don’t feel you have a crack out championship poses. It’s much nicer to have a photo where you look happy, relaxed and comfortable in a pose, than one where your veins are popping out on your neck and you are grimacing from exertion. You are already on a pole, and that’s impressive enough – don’t feel like you will be judged for your move.

10. It’s your shoot – enjoy it!

It’s normal to feel nervous and excited before a shoot, especially if it’s with a well-known photographer. But don’t feel intimated – this is YOUR shoot, you have paid your money and you deserve a fantastic shoot as much as everyone else. Never feel pressured to perform for the photographer or compare yourself to anyone else on the shoot – no one is there to judge you. Photo shoots are for everyone, and not just for the super advanced – and that includes YOU, even if you only have 3 moves. Enjoy your moment.

BEXIITA ACKLAND

8 Things To Think About Before Competing In Pole

Written by Bexiita Ackland

Competing in pole has become big business. What was once something only for the elite and/or crazy has become commonplace, with more and more reputable local and regional competitions, and with a wider range of competitions incorporating different styles of pole. From pole athletics to stripper style and everything in between, there is now a well organised and prestigious competition for you. Sometimes it feels like every person in every class you take has competed, is competing, or is planning to compete. And that’s totally brilliant – competing can take you to places you never imagined, pushing you physically and mentally. But is competing for you? Once you make the frankly pant wettingly scary decision to get up on stage, a whole world opens up to you which is hard to comprehend until you are actually part of it. Here are eight things to consider before making that decision and taking to the stage: 1. Can you afford it? The costs of competing can potentially be huge. Costumes are anywhere from around the £40 mark if you are canny/lucky on eBay, and up to £100-£200 for a bespoke outfit (that’s around $150-$300 for my American friends). Add on to that the costs of private or extra lessons or workshops you may want to book to polish up your tricks, the costs of hiring a space or studio to practice your routine or film your video heat, plus the costs of travelling to such sessions and things start to add up. That’s before we even get to the hair, make up, nails and so on – I’ve seen pre-comp beautifying to rival most weddings. However, like weddings, competing can be done on a budget – if you are handy with a needle you can create a wonderful costume yourself which will stand out as not being yet another creation by the designer du jour, and of course you can do your own hair and make up (or go with a caveman/Wild Woman of Borneo theme that requires no beautifying at all). You may have free access to your own space or own pole to practice, so practice may not cost your too much money at all. However there’s no way to get away from…. 2. Do you have the time? Do not underestimate how much of your time competing will take up. Do you have friends, family or any sort of a social life? Do you hear that whooshing sound? That’s the sound of your social life disappearing. You may be a natural and come up with a whole routine in an hour or two, but most people spend a lot of time sitting on the floor with a notepad, planning combos, scribbling things out, writing new combos, screwing up bits of paper, considering burning the entire notebook and studio to the ground, starting again from scratch and then ending up with something completely different weeks later. All of this faffing about will take up huge amounts of your spare time. You may also take up other sports on your non-pole days to help with strength or cardio when you realise how much stamina a whole routine requires (this is when pole dancers fall in love with swimming, running and crossfit). You may take up a stretch or yoga class to help with flexibility, because let’s face it flexibility always adds a wow factor to routines. And after all the time physically taken up, it will also take up all your time in your head. Don’t even bother trying to have a conversation with a pole dancer a week before they compete, unless you want to talk about glitter, tendons, the unquantifiable amount an unfamiliar pole might spin and whether to step first with the left or right leg. Seriously, the week before I compete, I bore even myself. Of course, you may thrive on the focus and thoroughly enjoy the discipline of planning your life and managing your time effectively. The process of creating a routine is undoubtedly hugely rewarding and enjoyable, and a much better use of time than watching crap TV. On the other hand, if you have no friends or social life whatsoever, you are a perfect candidate for competing. 3. What about significant others? OK so most people do have friends and a social life, and possibly a significant other and even children. These people are going to bear the brunt when you are tired, injured, stressed, nervous and trying not to eat chocolate. Is that going to make your life difficult? For the last four weeks or so before your competition, will your family be understanding that you will be training a lot and not at home? I’m not saying that you should put your dreams on hold, but it’s probably a good idea to brief/warn everyone concerned beforehand. Do you have a good support network around you? Will someone be there for you when you are crying over crystals? It can happen. Do you have someone to go to for advice about music cutting or costume designing, or someone to warn you against capes, skirts or props? (Seriously, think twice about wearing a skirt). And do you have someone to remind you that it’s only a competition for goodness sake, chill out and eat the chocolate?

4. Are you emotionally ready? Are you prepared for what you will go through and the questions you will ask yourself? When you are tired and drained, sore and aching, with creativity flowing from every pore leaving you emotionally open, it’s not unusual to ask some pretty soul-searching questions Am I good enough? Should I be doing more? Why didn’t I start training splits years ago? Why is everyone is better than me? Remember that bit about sitting on the floor with a notepad putting your routine together, only to realise you have far exceeded your capabilites? That’s when all the ghosts of pole appear to let you know just how rubbish you are The main thing to remember here is that this is NORMAL. Here’s a secret: everyone feels like that sometimes. Everyone wonders if they are good enough. Everyone questions themselves and worries they will mess up and embarrass themselves. Take a deep breath, speak to your pole instructor or fellow students or someone in the industry you admire or respect or just think will be nice to you. And for goodness sake, don’t start obsessing about what your fellow competitors are doing and comparing yourself to them. You are you, and they are them. Believe me, deep down, they are thinking the same thoughts. 5. Are you physically ready? Depending on the level you are competing at, competing can put a strain on the body. Are you healthy and reasonably fit? Do you have any underlying medical conditions that mean when you are tired and stressed, your health is put in danger? I do not for a moment mean you cannot compete if this applies to you. Rather, I mean you need to be aware of this, listen to your body and manage your training appropriately. You might also use the process as an opportunity to improve your general health and nutrition – healthy eating will undoubtedly help your with your training, and having your performance as a goal can be a great incentive to improve your overall fitness. Make sure, however, this is a by product of your training, and not the sole incentive. It is not a good idea to compete “because that way I will have to lose 2 stone by July”. Also remember that cake, chocolate, chicken wings, doughnuts and eating out with friends is lovely and enjoyable, and also that you do not get scored onstage for your thighs. 6. Are you doing it for the right reasons?

Also known as why are you doing it? There are many brilliant, positive reasons to compete. To push yourself with your training. To set yourself a challenge. To take yourself further along your pole journey. To inspire your students or family. Because it looks like fun.  There are also reasons to compete which are based in negativity – To prove a point. To “show someone”. For the glory. Because you’ll definitely win. Competing is always a risk, but if your reasons to do so are based in positivity, then whatever the outcome it will still be a positive experience. If however you are going through the whole thing – the work, the stress, the training, the expense – for a negative reason… I don’t have to spell it out do I. 7. Will you enjoy it? Your performance itself will last a matter of minutes, but can be hugely intense. Your training can last months. Will you enjoy both? Personally I like performing, but the training – n ot so much. Others are the other way around, and love working towards a goal but are terrified on stage. Training when you’re not in the mood or it’s snowing outside or you’re as stiff as a board can make you just want to lie on the sofa watching X Factor, or it can take you to a wonderful place of zen and sense of achievement. If you have not enjoyed the process, or appearing on stage, it will show in your performance. Similarly, if you have loved every minute, that will ooze out of your performance and pour all over the judges and crowd like that stuff in the 50s B-movie The Blob, but make them enthralled and fill them with joy rather than terror and fear. 8. How important is it to you to place? If you give your all to your training, focus your time, pour your heart and soul into your routine, give it everything you’ve got on stage and then place much lower than you were hoping or expecting, how are you going to feel about that? How will you feel if you come last?

It’s normal to experience post-comp blues, even if you are happy with the result. Competing can become such a massive thing and not having it any more can leave a void. But will you still be feeling those blues next week, next month, next year? Will it put you off competing altogether? Remember, competing and judging is subjective. Who can know what makes up the “best” routine? On another day, you may have placed higher or lower. Of course, you want to do your best, and it’s natural and human to want to do well. But if you are placing your self worth on doing well, you are putting yourself in a dangerous position, both mentally and emotionally. If you can genuinely say that as long as you did your best and where you place is just a bonus, then you are in the right frame of mind. Go ahead, and make it your time to shine. Your stage is waiting.