Tag Archives: Pole dancing blog

How my pole career began by serving margaritas, dancing on tables and teaching English

  By bexackland@ntlworld.com • November 20, 2020

I haven’t always been a pole dance instructor. Sometimes I lament the fact that I didn’t find this amazing sport until I was approaching my mid thirties – think of all that time I wasted, all the combos and strengthening I could have been working on for the past fifteen years! I envy the girls who start in their teens, at the peak of physical fitness and flexibility, who don’t get out of bed each morning groaning like a pensioner, whose hands aren’t already becoming twisted and gnarled, or whose joints seize up every time the weather dips below 20 degrees. 

Pole dance didn’t exist back then – or at least, not in the way it does now, with a pole dancing school in every town. At least I can comfort myself with the fact that I wasn’t missing decades of poling going on just on my own doorstep. 

Recently I was discussing with a friend the career I had before motherhood and pole dancing came into my life. Surprisingly for my friend, this career had absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with fitness instructing. And yet, interestingly, I came to the massive realisation that actually, all the jobs that came before this one have, in their own way, contributed hugely to the skills I use every day in teaching pole dancing.

Would you like an 

extended butterfly with that? 

One of my very first jobs was waitressing. While I’m lucky enough – ie. old enough – to have gone to university in the UK in the days before tuition fees, that doesn’t mean we were rolling in cash. I followed the tried-and-tested route of impoverished students everywhere into waitressing to fund our electricity coin-slot meters and textbooks/rock and roll lifestyles (as rock and roll as you can be in Canterbury anyway).

One of the key skills to waitressing was being able to know exactly what was going on with every table in your section – who is waiting for dessert, who will need their drinks refreshed in a couple of minutes, who is between starters and mains, which person didn’t want cheese and who is skipping the entree. It’s like holding 17 ever-changing thoughts in your head simultaneously. 

Think about how it is in pole class: 12 students, all with strengths and weaknesses, all with different attitudes and fears and needs. It’s my job to know exactly how each one is getting on, who will need spotting and who can do this alone, who will need a little extra on top of what we are doing because I know they have already nailed this move. And that tide will constantly change and fluctuate throughout the session, as someone gains confidence and will need to be given the freedom to try it alone, or someone has a bad day and struggles with something they have previously found easy and need a little more encouragement, or maybe a refresh on some key points.

The ability to know exactly what is going on with everyone, and to be aware of it whilst you are dealing with one individual is vital first and foremost for student safety, but also for student satisfaction. Just as diners don’t want to leave a restaurant thinking “well, my waitress was too busy focussing on the big noisy birthday party in the corner and forgot my margarita”, so the pole student does not want to leave class thinking ” well, my instructor just left me in the corner flailing about without a clue” or “I’ve done that move so much I could teach it myself, couldn’t she have given me a variation or something just to break the monotony?”

As a waitress, you also get to say the same things over and over again all day long: Are you ready to order? Can I get you another drink? Is everything OK with your meal? This is true of pole instructing, only this time it’s Point your toes! Engage your abs! Hips over shoulders! Control the core! You get to shout a lot more in pole instructing than you do in waitressing 

Club dancing in the 90s…

…in some very 90s boots

I also worked as a dancer to supplement my university lifestyle. I danced in cages, on stages with featured bands and acts, on a podium next to some of the biggest names in the 90s club scene and was a feature dancer for all the superstar DJs. Not once in all that time did I even touch a pole. It would have helped if I did. I would have fallen over a lot less.

After university, I started training to be an English teacher to 11-18 year olds. I didn’t complete the training, as I quickly learned that teaching (at least, this type of teaching) wasn’t for me, but you can see where the similarities lie with my current job.

One of the things I did like about that teacher training though was the study of the psychology of teaching. I liked learning about all the different ways people learn, and the best ways to approach these different learning styles. This is never more true when teaching a pole class. Some students are visual learners. Some learn by doing. Some prefer to be talked through moves. Some will listen carefully, then immediately forget everything you said. It’s my job to know exactly how to teach each of them, how each will respond differently to each approach and to know which technique to use to get the best response. 

Some students will do nothing until you approach them, and then they will do their absolute best because you are stood right next to them, but the minute you walk away they go back to wiping the pole and nervously watching everyone else. Some are the complete opposite, and fall to pieces when you are with them, putting themselves down and doubting themselves, but the minute you are helping someone else they quietly and determinedly get on with it. These are the people I watch in the mirror, so I know they are safe and what pointers they need, but they don’t know I’m watching them. 

Some students don’t like praise – it makes them feel awkward and embarrassed. Some need constant praise and reassurance. Some need to be the star of the show, and some would never walk through the doors again if even the slightest bit of attention was drawn to them. Aren’t people amazing? It’s my job to spot these details quickly, tailor my teaching to each of them and ensure that all these different types of student can work together as a harmonious group. 

After I left teaching I entered a long career in journalism, and later PR. Admittedly, this has helped me when putting together my business, and enabled me to write all my own company literature and indeed articles such as this. But more than that, it taught me so much about people. Everyone has a story to tell, and more often that not it’s a surprising and unexpected story. I am lucky to hear such stories every day from my students, and getting to know such wonderful people, and I believe this is what has created such a friendly, welcoming pole school – a collection of warm, supportive, loyal, interconnected women for whom pole is so much more than a once weekly fitness class. It’s inspiring to see these woman blossom and grow in confidence as well as in strength, flexibility and coordination, largely thanks to the support of those around them in class.

Then came the career path of motherhood. What did I learn here? So, so much, more than it is possible to write here, or even in a book. Embarrassingly, I hear that maternal voice pop out in class sometimes: “Oh well done!”, I’ll say, clapping my hands, perhaps even jumping up and down a bit. On occasion, I have even heard myself say: “Good girl!” Luckily my students are usually upside down at this point and can’t slap me for being so patronising.

I have been teaching for four years now. I do think that in that time my teaching style has improved, evolved, developed. I think the experience of those years has made me a better teacher than I was when I started out, but when I look back over the past two decades, I can see this journey began long long ago, well before the day I first walked into a pole studio and fell in love. 

Education, training, qualifications: they’re all incredibly important. But experience is infinitely valuable. Everything you are doing is getting you where you are going, taking you where you need to be.

Without knowing it, I have been training to be the best pole dance instructor I can be for twenty years.

BEXIITA

The Spiky (Dragon) Tail Of Social Media

  By bexackland@ntlworld.com • November 20, 2020

I love social media. I like Facebook, mostly because my profile has basically become an online forum for pole dancers who share advice and photos.  I like Instagram, where I share exactly the same photos as I do on Facebook but with arty filters. I like twitter, where I largely retweet stuff by people who are infinitely funnier than me, and where I am guaranteed to be the first to know about dead celebrities. But I also hate social media. Facebook and I have fallen out several times, and once we didn’t even speak for eight months. Now we agree to give each other the space we need and bear in mind that getting too close is not good for either of us. 

Here’s the wonderful thing about social media – it’s an amazing and endless resource for pole dancers. All these people at the touch of a button or the click of a mouse who understand your relationship with the pole. While your friends and family may get it, or try to get it, or tolerate it, or roll their eyes and sigh about it, there are thousands of polers out there who know exactly what you are on about. Can’t nail your Marion Amber? Join the online club. Proud that you finally managed to invert? There’s a whole group of polers waiting to congratulate you. Want tips on moves, products, clothes, or anything pole related? You have an endless bounty of advice right there behind that little f or that teeny blue bird. 

But while social media drops you right into the heart of a community and shores you up with its likemindedness and support, it can also, sometimes, make you feel like the loneliest person in the world. While 90% of the time I am inspired by what I see, and driven to push my own boundaries and edges, sometimes the pressure to keep up can drive you to distraction, in an already competitive industry. For every week when I feel inspired and motivated and amazed by the pole world’s achievements and latest developments, I’ll have the odd day where I can’t help but think: Oh get lost. Go away, and take your quirky inverted anastasia variation thing with you. And don’t come back until I’ve perfected my cup grip straight edge too. And two fingers to your chest stand and bendy back.

I discussed this recently with a friend and fellow instructor.

“Look who’s talking” she said. “You post your fair share of new moves we can’t do either” 

And she’s right. Without realising it I have become a Self Indulgent Over Sharer of Pole Achievements – or SIOSPA as I shall call us, for the sake of my word count.

Thing is, I can honestly say I never, ever post photos with a bad intent – that is, I am not a SIOSPA to show off, or brag, or make anyone feel bad about themselves. I feel happy and excited by new moves, and I want to share them for several reasons. I want my friends and family and non-polers to see that pole dancing is tough and athletic and challenging. I want students to know that there are many places that pole can take them, and to know that I work hard myself and expect great things from myself and not just from them. More importantly I am looking for feedback from the pole world, and a whole collection of people who can do the move way better than I can. The advice and tips from the pole community are invaluable. I remember once posting a photo of what I thought was a jackknife. Wooo hooo jackknife! No it wasn’t a jackknife at all. In fact it took me another two years to manage a jackknife.

So I have to assume that other SIOSPAs are the same – nobody can really be posting pictures to make us feel bad about ourselves? But am I inadvertently making others feel that way? Should I stop sharing, and keep my SIOSPA habit in check?

My dragon tail contribution

This past fortnight on social media has been remarkable for the latest Move Of The Moment – the dragon tail. This was first posted by Charlee Shae Wagner, and within hours it was being replicated globally. We have seen Moves Of The Moment many times before – the sailboat, Janeiro, Anastasia – but never this fast or this prolifically. This is where social media really comes into its own – I have seen the community take this move and share it out, looking for tips, sharing hints, posting videos, and all the while acknowledging where it came from and how we came to be able to do it. Being able to teach a move that two weeks ago none of us had ever even tried is remarkable. Far from making me occasionally feel bad about myself, SIOSPAs are in fact helping me on every step of my pole journey. Without them, I’d have never been doing the things I am doing now. 

If you don’t want to see someone’s statuses or pictures, hide them from your newsfeed. If you really don’t want them at your social media party, unfriend them. But I’ll be leaving my fellow SIOSPAs right where they are – because it’s not their fault I sometimes get down on my lack of strength or inflexible spine. They are there to show me what I can do, and I am grateful for their amazing talents. I have learned more from my social media friends than I ever thought possible. You have no idea how many photos I have on my phone of you lovely people. So keep sharing Self Indulgent Over Sharers of Pole Achievements. I can only hope to inspire a single poler as much as you have inspired me. And if I’m guilty of over sharing too much – well I’m sorry about that too. But don’t feel you have to look. 

BEXIITA

In Pursuit Of Handsprings, And Other Advanced Moves

  By bexackland@ntlworld.com • November 20, 2020

Every one in the pole world who knows me well knows how much I struggled with handsprings. I just could not do them.

 I believed it was due to a lack of strength (as strength is not my… Err… Strength) and that my upper body just wasn’t cut out for it. But in truth I think it was largely down to fear – that upside down flipping over thing – and of course, lack of technique.

At every masterclass I went to – and I go to a lot – when we got to the handspring bit, half of me was thinking – oh no. Here’s the bit I can’t do. The other half was thinking – maybe today is the day. Maybe this is the time when someone will spot where I’m going wrong and steer me onto the right track and I’ll nail it. And every time, when I asked “can you have a look at my technique and see if I’m doing something wrong?” They’d say “no, you’re absolutely fine. Just keep practicing” Grrrr. How frustrating.

But they were right. It was just practice. I was hoping for some magic wand moment, where they’d say ah! You’re doing it completely wrong! And the problem would be solved. But pole isn’t always like that. I’m not naturally strong. I have to work at it. And sometimes, hard work beats natural talent, when natural talent doesn’t work.

First handspring. Not shown: victory dance afterwards

It took me 17 months to handspring, from the first time I tried it to managing it, just once. Just four weeks short of a year and a half. However, I have spoken to pole icons, world champions, who admitted that despite their amazing strength and talents and all round awesomeness, it also took them a year and a half to handspring too. If it’s good enough for a world champion, then it’s good enough for me.

What seems to have happened in recent years is that advanced moves – like handsprings – have been “demoted” down the difficulty scale. Girls want to handspring in six weeks. Instructors want to jam those girls up in legs-off positions and photograph them to make themselves look good. It seems to have turned into a race for the super advanced moves, rather than building up to them.

If I had one piece of advice for students of pole, it would be this: SLOW DOWN.

Slow down your moves – less kicking and jumping and more lifting. It will make you stronger and fitter, and improve your technique- which means that when you come to attempt the more advanced moves, you will be ready, and prepared, and able.

Slow down your performing – don’t rush, we want to see what you are doing and appreciate it and feel it. Hold your moves, even if you are not on stage. It will look better, more polished, more beautiful. And if you can hold a gemini or a scorpio with no effort or struggle, then moving from there up to the next move will not be such a stretch. It will feel challenging, sure, but it will feel possible, and most importantly, safe. 

Slow down your pole training – spend time nailing each move, perfecting it and holding it, not rushing on to the next one. I know it’s tempting to want to invert on week one and handspring on week two but THERE IS NO RUSH – You are in competition with no one. You have the rest of your life to spend on this journey. Savour it, enjoy it, and you will be a far better poler for it.

The world of pole has come so far. The moves are crazy now, as these athletes take it to the next level, with gravity defying feats, mind blowing strength and flexibility that would put an elastic band to shame. Those moves are amazing and inspiring. But those moves are not the norm – a handspring is still, in fact, an advanced move. Just because more people can do it now who have been training and learning for a long time, it doesn’t make it any less of an achievement.

For me, I realised that being self-taught and trying to handspring without a spotter probably wasn’t the best way to learn, and I invested in some lessons with a fellow instructor I trusted. Boom – I got that handspring in about 15 minutes with her. A combination of technique, support, time, continuous training and getting over the fear. I was so happy, but not as happy as when I taught a student to handspring for the first time myself. It’s a big landmark, as it is nailing any nemesis move, as is inverting for the first time, as is just getting your feet off the ground, as is just walking into class for the first time. 

It’s all a personal journey. It’s about hard work, support and fun, There are no shortcuts. There is no competition

BEXIITA

Pole doesn’t grow on trees

  By bexackland@ntlworld.com • November 20, 2020

There’s no getting around it: Pole dance lessons are more expensive than most other fitness classes.

Among the Holy Trinity of first questions asked by those interested in starting pole dance classes (“When and where are your classes? What do I wear? How much is it?), the How Much? question is usually the point at which interest fades.

You charge how much for an hour??? 

When I first started pole classes nearly 5 years ago, the lessons were £10 – a very reasonable rate for pole locally, but still twice the price of your average zumba or aerobics class, and this still stands today – wherever you are in the world, and whatever factors affect your local prices, I’m still willing to bet that most pole lessons are considerably higher than your average fitness class.

But pole is not your average fitness class. Here’s what you may think you are paying for:

An hour long fitness class, along the same lines as a zumba class, legs bums & tums or a powerhoop class. There will be a warm up, some bits that make you sweat and ache a bit, then a cool down. You’re charging a lot of money for that!

I see what you’re saying. But in fact, here’s just some of what I’m charging you for:

Firstly, hardware: Studios cost money. Sometimes they are rented spaces, which doesn’t come cheap, especially if the class is small, or there are no-shows. This is why your pole school will thank you for it if you let them know you won’t be making it to class. Sometimes the pole school owns the space, but much like owning your own home, that will still involve a mortgage payment, which will not be small. Even for those lucky few who outright own a space, there will still be business rates, bills, public liability insurance, music licensing and many other costs. So far, no different to other fitness classes, but let’s add on to that the cost of equipment. Crash mats, stretch mats, yoga blocks, stretch bands and mirrors are just the start of it. Your main equipment cost as a school owner will be your poles. Safe, recognised poles are not cheap, and nor should they be. And neither do they last forever – regular maintenance and upkeep will keep your poles safe, but eventually they will need to be replaced. This is one area you do not want your school to scrimp on, and is one of the reasons your classes may cost more than other fitness classes.

On top of that, you are not just paying for one hour’s tuition; in this day and age when time is precious, your lesson will reflect the amount of time your instructor has put into your class – hours of research (OK, watching pole dancing videos on YouTube isn’t exactly a chore, but still…), administrative work that can go on for days, putting together carefully tailored lesson plans that ensure each student’s particular strengths are played to and challenged, plus time spent possibly putting up and taking down poles, all of which eats into your instructor’s working day. We haven’t even touched on marketing, branding, promoting, advertising, website development or hosting events.

But it’s more than just the hardware and time you are paying for in your class cover price. For starters, your instructor should have invested heavily in their own training. This may (or may not) include extensive qualifications and training courses (both in pole and possibly in business skills), but even if it doesn’t, it will hopefully include the not insubstantial costs of their own pole journey – their own lessons, masterclasses, workshops, and primarily their experience – their time honing their craft, sometimes for many years, and their own personal development to keep your classes current and up to date.

Add on to this personal insurance, registration with various recognised bodies and a million other small costs, and suddenly the cost of your lesson becomes hopefully more understandable.

Teaching pole is not a license to print money. Time and again I see people who think this is an easy way to make a living, that you can charge twice the price of any other dance class and rake it in. Wrong, wrong, wrong. As a school it is important not to fall back on the “that’s the going rate” excuse. We need to make sure we are providing value for money.

Many things come into play when setting your prices to your students. I will keep my prices as reasonable as I can. Of course some schools can keep their rates low due to overheads and a thousand other variables. Some costs are fixed, and vary from studio to studio based on circumstances. A larger, better equipped and beautiful studio may charge more than a smaller one. A school whose instructors have an excellent reputation may charge more than another – and bear in mind that that reputation will have been earned with hard work, experience, and many of the factors discussed above. Local economics of course comes into play – prices vary widely throughout the country, in the way that house prices do. But bear in mind that, as with all things, you get what you pay for.

To be an effective teacher, you should never stop being a student. A good pole dance instructor invests time, effort and, yes, money to improving and being the best they can be. It’s what justifies the money we charge to students. Pole does not come for free. Investing in your future is wise.

Yes, pole is more expensive than most fitness classes but when you take these costs into consideration, it begins to represent exhcellent value for money.

The Inner Voice Of A Pole Dance Would-Be Competitor

  By bexackland@ntlworld.com • November 20, 2020

Every time I think about competing, even the thought of it brings me out in a cold sweat and makes me want to run away and live in a cave, so I don’t think the competition circuit is for me.

I would quite like to have a go at putting together a routine though. Not to compete or anything. Just for myself. 

It’d be rubbish though. I can’t dance without resorting to MC Hammer and Vanilla Ice moves.

Maybe I could do an MC Hammer and Vanilla Ice themed routine!

No. No.

What is a theme anyway? What does that mean? An epic tale of my struggle to find a parking space today told thought the medium of interpretative pole dance?

Anyway, I’m not going to compete so it’s irrelevant. Let’s just get on with these lesson plans and maybe think about hosting a choreography session or putting together a routine to teach it. Or maybe perform at a showcase? If it’s any good, of course. Which it won’t be.

There’s going to be a regional competition! Maybe some of my students would like to enter? It’s be great for them, to push themselves and show their families and friends how hard they have worked and what they have achieved.

I wouldn’t do it though. I’d be busy helping them prepare and teaching them and stuff.

Oh though. I won’t be very good at helping them will I. I know nothing about competing or performing – having, y’know, never done either.

Hmmmm

Students’ universal response to suggestion that they compete in new regional competition is akin to response I would expect if ‘d suggested we all smother ourselves in garlic butter and lay in the sun under a giant magnifying glass.

Students suggest I enter the competition instead. This is because they think I’m quite good, largely because I’m the only pole dancer they ever see who can do something more than a basic invert, and as we all know, in pole you think everyone is brilliant who can do anything that you can’t. 

OK, maybe I’ll have a think about it.

Thinking about it is already making me panic.

Maybe that’s why I should do it! Do something every day that scares you! Overcome your fears! You have nothing to fear but fear itself! It will be a triumph of Facebook memes over human worries. Maybe you’ll discover a whole new side of yourself that you did not know existed! Maybe you’ll be awesome and amazing and the crowd will be reduced to tears, possibly throwing themselves to the ground with emotion, flogging themselves, weeping and wailing!

They probably won’t though will they, to be honest.

A more likely scenario is that the response will be “that was a bit pants, we thought she’d be better than that”

Actually, a more likely response would be “We have no idea what she’d be like as we have no idea who she is”, in which case I can be as rubbish as I like.

Right. OK. I think I’m going to have a go. I’ll apply, and put together a routine, and if I feel like it, and don’t feel like I’m going to die, I’ll go through with it.

Where do I start? A song would be good. This one is nice and slow. That’ll make it easier, right? Won’t have to dance so much and exhaust myself. Can also lay on the floor in an emotive manner a fair bit.

Oh wait. Turns out dancing slowly means holding moves longer and being more controlled.

I’m going to have a costume made too. It’ll be sparkly. Possibly in red. Or green! I can have a bejewelled bikini made, and then wear it on holiday! This is BRILLIANT! I’m going to enter loads of competitions until I have an entire wardrobe of bespoke bikinis and hotpants.

Oh good lord there’s going to be an audience of hundreds and I’m going to have to LOOK AT THEM and acknowledge them and stuff, and smile and make eye contact. 

Breathe, breathe.

How about taking on a persona, and playing a role? That way, you can cover all the anxiety in a cloak of character and it’ll neatly take care of that tricky theme dilemma too. 

OK so let’s pick a character. By which I mean, let’s go through all your favourite films and see if any have good music. 

Well whaddayaknow, here’s the perfect theme. Surely this has been done before? Best have a quick check on YouTube.

Hehehe these YouTube videos of animals with human voices dubbed over the top are HILARIOUS.

Right, better get down to some serious choreography. I have an hour after class, should be long enough to get a fair bit of it done…

I am soaked with sweat, breathing like a pensioner at the top of a mountain and think I may vomit. But that’s OK, because I have managed, over this hour of intense workout, to choreograph a whole 20 seconds of my routine. Yes folks, 20 seconds. A whole 7% of the finished piece.

I really am hopeless at choreography. But that’s OK, because I have the perfect pole combination in my head. I have a series of moves in my head all of which will obviously look amazing and be at the perfect optimum angle for the audience and judges. I’ll have a go at them another day, when I can actually breathe again. 

So yeah, may have been a little over enthusiastic with this combo. As Jameson might’ve said to Peter Parker at the Daily Bugle, let’s edit this considerably. 

Things are not going as I planned. The competition is in two weeks, I only have 50% of the routine done and what I have got worked out is very scrappy and messy. I do however have lots of support and advice from wonderful kind people from the pole community who undoubtedly are making this whole process easier, and who must be getting sick to death with my periodic rants and self-absorbed Facebook updates.

Best friend has just told me that I am not to enter any more competitions or she will kill me herself.

Long drive back from a friend’s house. Ahead is a rainbow. It’s right in front of me, right where I’m driving to. It’s a sign! A sign that everything is going to be great and positive!

Don’t be stupid woman. It’s a bit of natural phenomenon. It’s rain, mixed with sunbeams. The sky doesn’t give a toss about your competition. It doesn’t even care about big stuff like famine and world hunger. If it did, it’d go and rain in Africa instead of drizzling on the M25. Nature is a complete cow.

But still, apparently, we are surrounded by signs in the natural world all around us, and we should pay attention to them. And it’s better than moaning all the time.

It’s two days to the competition. Better actually finish the routine. God I’d kill for a vodka and orange. I’ll be pleased when all this is over. I can’t even remember why I’m doing it now.

The big day has arrived. What am I doing? These people are all amazing and talented and a lot better than I am. And they’re all eating nuts and bananas. What am I missing? Am I meant to know about this? Oh god I can’t even get the food right.

OK it’s my turn to perform. Nothing to do now but try to enjoy it and do the best I can and hope I don’t screw it up too badly. I can hear the crowd. They seem to be having a good time. I suppose I’d better just try to entertain them and… and what? Smile? Hope they don’t notice the terror? Or that I’m way out of my league? Oh well too late to do anything about it now. Here goes…

OK. OK. I’m still alive. I didn’t die. It didn’t go perfectly but it was OK, I think. God I’m glad it’s over. I am going to have such a massive vodka later. It was actually quite fun, more fun than I thought it would be. Can’t wait to see everyone. I hope they enjoyed it.

Well holy smoke balls and sweet mother of all things that are good and pure. Unbelievable. I have placed second in the professional category – a category full of incredibly talented girls, all of whom deserve to win and who have been a pleasure to hang out with backstage. I really cannot believe this. Surely this is a dream? This cannot be real. 

I genuinely was not here to win or place. In the midst of everything, the fear, the self doubt, the hard work, the pressure, the pain and the bruises and the time away from my family and friends, I pretty much forgot why I was here. Now I remember – it was to push myself, to see what I was capable of, to do something I thought I never could. To prove the voices of dissent wrong. To encourage my students to do the same. This has been an amazing journey, and not an easy one, but one I am so glad I took.

Now, where’s that vodka and orange?

And my student Ash won the beginner category!

Are We Not Drawn Onward, We Few, Drawn Onward To New Era?

  By bexackland@ntlworld.com • November 20, 2020

We pole dancers, are we not drawn onward to a new era of pole moves?

OK, don’t panic. This isn’t really a poetic and pretentious blog topic about the dawning of the age of a million new pole moves. As an English scholar, former journalist and word geek, I kinda have a thing for words. This doesn’t mean I am silently judging your grammar. But it does mean I have things like a “favourite palindrome”. In fact, I have a top three. But my favourite is:

A palindrome, for those not as desperately nerdy and tragic as me, is a phrase that reads the same backwards as it does forwards. You’re checking it now aren’t you? Go on, check it. It really does. Unless I have made a typo which occasionally happens, even with grammar nazis.

But what does all this have to do with pole?

Whilst reading lists of palindromes on holiday (yes that happened), it got me thinking, about things that work backwards as well as forwards. And this applies hugely to pole.

I am a strong believer in training down as well as up. There are so many different forces at work during pole training, from strength and lifting to gravity. We all know how to work up to an invert, lifting, pushing the hips up, using the arms and the core, the change in weight distribution. But what happens when we get there? Do we – or our students – slide down the pole (controlled and steady of course), or do we unhook the legs and go back down the way we came?

I think there is great value in the slide-down-the-pole technique – it is a safe way down (tuck chin to chest, thereby arriving at the floor on your shoulders and not your head); it improves and practices grip, and teaches how to release it a little, but not too much; and it is a reassuring way down for the nervous student, easy for an instructor to spot and a good go-to comfort move for students progressing on to more inverted moves.

However, as students get stronger, I like to introduce “training down”. I don’t mean let go with the legs and *splat*. I mean engaging the core and upper body, and trying to reverse the invert, coming down slowly and controlled. Take, for example, the chopper/overhead straddle/flying V/whatever you call it. Anyway this move:

Now, this move looks great when a poler lifts into it, with straight legs from ground to air. But we also know that’s hard, and it’s much more likely that – certainly whilst learning this move – there will be an element of kicking and/or bent legs going on (I’m not going to get into whether we should or shouldn’t kick into inverts – maybe another day. But suffice to say whether we should or shouldn’t, people WILL kick into this move).

My favourite way to train for the straight leg deadlift into this move is to train DOWN. Take this position as the start, and slowly, slowly, lower down, using the abs, the arms, the shoulders, the back, hell using ANYTHING and EVERYTHING to lower, lower, lower. You may only lower a few inches before *splat*, because gravity will be pushing you down. (Don’t be hard on gravity – that’s gravity’s job. We just have to fight gravity. In a nice, pacifist way of course. Let’s not forget we need gravity for many pole moves) But the more you train this move down, the further you will get.

Now let’s apply the same principle to other moves. Before learning to handspring or ayesha, lower into those moves from an invert. That way you practice the move without relying on momentum. When you are familiar with those positions, then work on training up into them – and don’t just work on lifting up into headstands or handstands – bring them down slowly.  Don’t just kick up into handsprings, come back down in a controlled manner too. LOWER you shoulder mount until eventually you can lift it. Lower your ayesha to the ground until your can deadlift it. If you want to take it further, lower it and HOLD it there, in a shoulder mount planche, or an iron x. Go back up if you like, and lower all over again , you badass b*tch. Get into the habit of lowering EVERYTHING, every invert, every move, instead of taking the *splat* onto the crash mat option.

Remember pole is 90% training and 10% show. The final move will be a great achievement, but that isn’t what’s making you fit. The training towards it is what’s building your strength, your ability and your fitness level. Build training down into your 90% and your 10% will be easier, faster and more awesome. Make gravity your friend, make her your b*tch if you like, but make her work for you. Gravity is a law, and like all laws it can be broken. Some things work just as well backwards as they do forwards. Are we not drawn onward, we few, drawn onward to new era? Yes, of course we are.

BEXIITA

Top Ten Moments In Your Pole Journey

  By bexackland@ntlworld.com • November 20, 2020

In everyone’s pole journey, there are those moments that make you go “Ooooh!” Moments that make you feel you are getting somewhere. Moments that add together to make a big ball of pole love. Moments that make you feel on top of the world. Following an extensive poll (or pole haha) of the worldwide pole community (ie my pole mates) by an experienced pole know-it-all (ie me), here are the most popular top ten moments in your pole journey

Except there are 11. Because I couldn’t narrow it down to 10.

1. Your first spin


It’s your first time on a pole – and your first spin. It will probably be a fireman spin (or any one of the million names this two handed cross ankle spin goes by). You may recognise this spin as the one always used by pole dancing extras in the background of strip clubs on TV.

Your feet are off the ground. You are supporting your weight, albeit briefly, with your arms. You are spinning around the pole and looking gorgeous – yes you really are, a lot more gorgeous than you know! 

Congratulations. You have taken your very first step on your pole journey.

2. Your first pole climb


What, how on earth, you want me to what?? Climb a pole? A smooth, shiny, tall narrow pole? With my legs? Which are soft and squishy and possibly not been seen in public for quite some time?

Yes. And you can do it – you just need to know how. And when you do, and you take off first one hand, and then the other, you will feel like you are standing on top of the world.

3. Your first pole sit

Owwwwwwww oww oww how on earth do you do this?! My thighs!!!

Yes we pole dancers have a somewhat masochistic streak. I promise it will get better. But for now, you are holding your body weight between your thighs, sitting beautifully and elegantly and SOMEONE TAKE A PICTURE QUICK BEFORE MY THIGHS CATCH FIRE

4. Your first invert

There’s no question – this is possibly the biggest moment in your pole journey. For some, they flip upside down first time. For others, it becomes a personal battle lasting weeks, or even months of trying. Both are completely “normal”. 

1st inverts are always a cause for celebration 

If you are struggling, take a step back and continue working on the prep and conditioning your instructor will (or should) have been working on with you, but don’t lose hope. It feels like an insurmountable mountain sometimes but it WILL happen, and then you will a) feel like an unstoppable force of nature, albeit an exhausted sweaty one, and b) panic slightly about what to do next. Which brings us to…

5. Your first “proper” move

Whether it be a Gemini, a Scorpio, a butterfly or another beautiful move from the extensive repertoire of first inverted moves, to be able to take the seeming impossibility and difficulty of actually getting upside down, and then turn it into something beautiful is a major milestone. 

Behold the face of my lovely student Sarah, who spent months saying “I’m slipping! I can’t!” before finally having the confidence to release into this perfect gemini and realise her own awesomeness. Incidentally, following this breakthrough, Sarah now gets any move I show her pretty much straight away, proving the old adage that confidence is key, especially in pole.

6. First superman

Without question, superman came up again and again as the first move that polers felt was a big move, that took them from intermediate to advanced level with a twist of the torso and a chafe of the thighs. There are a million ways to get into it (OK, not a million but at least 12) and let’s face it, it burns like holy water on Regan Macneil in the Exorcist, but when you get there you smile through the pain because YOU DID IT!!! And as you practice it, it won’t hurt any more. Promise. 

7. First nemesis move

All polers, even professional ones, will have a move that still scares them. It might be something simple. It might be something they once slipped out of or just couldn’t nail whilst everyone else was flying into first time and they got a mental block. 

Or maybe it’s just a move that eludes you, because you can’t get past the pain, or you just don’t quite bend that way, or you just can’t make sense of it. Sometimes all you need to do is leave it, come back to it in a month, a year, two years, or train with someone who can help you understand it, or you just have a good day and BOOM. Nemesis move nailed. Who ever thought you would have this one in the bag! Who ever thought you would struggle with something so simple! But there you are. That’s pole, and we are not all the same. 

8. First handspring

The thing about handsprings is, it’s all or nothing. Either you do it, or you don’t. There’s no middle ground, no – oh well, you managed to turn it into something else instead that also looked pretty. Nope, it’s handspring or bust, and it often takes a long time to learn – several huge pole icons have told me it took a year or 18 months for them to handspring. I think this is why a lot of people give up on it. 

But even if it takes you five minutes to master, it’s still a huge moment – you are holding yourself in mid air, without anything on the pole but your hands! As a beginner, this seems impossible! But here you are, you wonder of nature, doing what you never thought you could. 

Here’s (one of) my first handsprings

9. Dancing in heels

Heels may not be your thing. You may consider yourself a bona fide “pole athlete” and not feel comfortable at all with the hip rolling, floor working, hair flicking thing. And that’s fine – there are many facets to pole and nobody says you have to be queen and master of all of them. But it’s likely at some point you will have a crack at dancing in heels. And who knows what might happen?

Your legs look longer, your posture changes, you have to get a whole extra 7 inches of your heels past the pole before you can hook on. And it’s damn hard. Even if you never pole in heels again, you will undoubtedly come away from the experience with a renewed respect for the girls who make this look easy.

10. Your first pole photo shoot

Now this is a whole different ball game. It’s time to take what you have learned over the past *insert here how long you have been poling* and showcase that on film. What to wear? What poses to do? It’s a little project all on its own. And you may be surprised at how much hard work it is – after all, you might have to hold those moves longer than you usually do, and you might have to do them again and again until you get your angle right, or your hair out of your face, or you’re not grimacing. 

But when you get your photos, it will all be worth it. “Is that me?” “I never thought I could look like that!” “I had no idea I had muscles like that!” A professional photographer will capture you at your very best, and will highlight your talents in a way an iPhone in a studio just cannot.

11. Your first performance

Now we are getting to the serious end of things. At some point in your pole journey you might want to perform, Maybe you are an experienced performer. Maybe you’ve never stood on a stage in your life but hey, it’s now or never, and you’ll never make it to the X Factor finals so it’ll have to be pole. Maybe it’s a competition, or a showcase or a demonstration at a country fair. It makes no difference – you are getting up there and putting what you have learned together into a performance and experiencing a whole side of the pole world you never have before. And can we just give you a massive hand for getting up there to perform for us, for putting yourself up there to be watched and judged and owning that stage. Not everyone will do this. Not many people will do this. So massive pat on the back to you for being the one that does. We salute you. 

Did I miss any? What were the major landmarks on your pole journey?

BEXIITA

Pole Picture Perfect

  By bexackland@ntlworld.com • November 20, 2020

Photo shoots – the amount of planning that goes into them can sometimes rival that of a wedding. Spray tans, lashes, costumes, hair, make up, and that’s before you even get to the most important bit, the actual pole moves themselves. Having done so many pole photo shoots now that social media is about ready to kill me, here are my top ten tips to make your big day go with a bang. Or rather, a flash.

1. Make a list

The most obvious point, but it’s surprising how many times people turn up to a shoot with no list of moves, or a list in their heads. If you have that sort of memory, great, but without a list your photographer or assistant can’t see what moves you are talking about and trying to achieve. For most shoots you get an allocated amount of time, and when a photographer is shooting 20 or 30 dancers, that time has to be pretty rigidly stuck to so that the whole two day shoot doesn’t overrun. Don’t waste your precious and expensive time saying “What’s that move where you leg is like this and your arm is like that and you’re sort of splitty but not really…”

If you don’t know the names of moves, just have photos on your phone or printed out, even if they are crappy images. We can see exactly what you are trying to do at the angle you mean in an instant.

Have a list, dress comfortably, keep warm and stretch

2. Turn up naked

OK, don’t actually turn up naked, but think loose and comfortable clothes, that will keep you warm and able to stretch. Don’t wear anything prior to the shoot that will leave marks on your body – tight seams on leggings, ankle socks, bra straps, tight knickers and hairbands round your wrist will all leave marks that last for hours.  Technically your photographer can edit these out, but wouldn’t you rather they were editing your bootilicious bod to flawless perfection instead of those lines round your ankles?

3. Labels suck

Even designer labels suck. Get rid of them. Peel the sticky label off the bottom of your shoes the second you get them out of the box. Cut the labels out of all your outfits – crop tops, bra tops, shorts, knickers – everything. Technically these COULD be photoshopped out by your photographer, but only if photo editing is included in the price, and why make life difficult? You already know your shoe size, and the washing instructions will only say “hand wash only”, which let face it you’ll ignore and shove it in the washing machine anyway, so you don’t need the labels. Snip them off. All labels – begone.

4. It’s all about angles

Pole is all about angles – much like football and sex, as one old friend helpfully told me (yeah, it was that sort of friend). Practice which way to invert so you are facing the right way for your shot. The backdrop is static so the photographer can’t move about too much to get the right angle. On your list of pole poses, next to each move draw an arrow to indicate which way you should face to invert or climb or whatever. The hardest bit of pole moves is getting into them, so minimise that bit as much as you can. Invert only once and save your energy for being as fabulous as possible in your move.

Angles. All the time.

Just because a move look impressive in the studio or on stage, it does’t necessarily mean it will make a good photo. Beware of moves that truncate your limbs and chop you off at the knee or elbow (cross knee release, Q, dangerous bird), poses that shorten your arms, legs or torso (superman front on), or are less than flattering to your stomach (oh so many!). Angles are always key, but some moves just don’t translate that well, especially (creepy word alert!) gusset exposure moves. I’ve never managed to get a nice photo of a teddy or a wrist seat without it looking gynaecological, though I’m sure it’s possible. Work your clothes too – many pole outfits have pretty detailing at the back, so think about moves that look nice from behind – allegra, Q, pole climbs, crucifix hang, genevieve – and show off your costume and back muscles. If you have a nice bum, or arms, or calves, or earlobes (what? It could happen) work your angles and find a way to show them off.

5. Don’t worry about slipping

If you are slipping in a move, just hold it. You can still get a good photo, and it won’t show that you are slipping. If however you start yelling “I’m slipping! Oh my gawd I’m slipping! Argh!” then that shot is ruined. Keep your face serene, don’t talk, just slide gracefully to the ground.

6. Fuel up

Make sure you eat well before your shoot. Everyone wants to look their best but if you crash diet before your shoot you will have no energy and be unable to do your moves. Don’t underestimate how gruelling a shoot can be, and fuel up accordingly. Don’t cut out food groups, ramp up the protein, stay away from sugar and foods that bloat you, bring loads of water, and bury your face in a mountain of chocolate afterwards.

7. Create a playlist

It is sometimes possible to play your own music at a shoot. Load up your iPod with songs that get you in the mood to get your pole on, and bring it along to your shoot. It can make the world of difference, especially if you are feeling nervous. Just don’t forget it afterwards and remember halfway along the motorway like I always do.

8. Work with your photographer

It’s the photographer’s job to make you look fabulous, with flattering lighting and creative input, but it’s your job to be prepared. Turn up ready, warmed up, stretched, and list in hand, and tell the photographer what it is you want. You can keep it super simple, with one uncomplicated outfit, or mix it up with costume changes. You can go for a theme, or a high concept shoot with props and make up and effects. Listen to your photographer and work with him or her to create what you want.

Don Curry brings out the sexy

9. Keep it simple

Remember, often the simple poses are the most beautiful and effective. A pretty pole sit, a pin up pose, a sexy bum shot, a hair flicky climb, a beautifully held gemini. Don’t feel you have a crack out championship poses. It’s much nicer to have a photo where you look happy, relaxed and comfortable in a pose, than one where your veins are popping out on your neck and you are grimacing from exertion. You are already on a pole, and that’s impressive enough – don’t feel like you will be judged for your move.

10. It’s your shoot – enjoy it!

It’s normal to feel nervous and excited before a shoot, especially if it’s with a well-known photographer. But don’t feel intimated – this is YOUR shoot, you have paid your money and you deserve a fantastic shoot as much as everyone else. Never feel pressured to perform for the photographer or compare yourself to anyone else on the shoot – no one is there to judge you. Photo shoots are for everyone, and not just for the super advanced – and that includes YOU, even if you only have 3 moves. Enjoy your moment.

BEXIITA ACKLAND

Pole Pancake Day – Things To Give Up On The Pole For Lent

  By bexackland@ntlworld.com • November 20, 2020

This week was Pancake Day, and like everyone else I went to pole class filled with basically lemon, sugar, chocolate spread, chopped nuts and ice cream wrapped in a small bit of batter in the name of tradition. Traditionally the day to use up all the fats and good stuff (yes OK, bad stuff) in the house before the fasting of the 40 days of Lent commences, Pancake Day (Or Shrove Tuesday or Mardi Gras, or Maslenitsa if you are Pagan) is also traditionally a time to give up all sorts of other bad stuff, typically chocolate, alcohol or smoking. Here’s the thing. I don’t actually want to give any of that stuff up. I mean, I could, if I really wanted to, give up Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups. But I don’t want to, so I’m not going to. However, there are plenty of things we could all give up without having to go without the fun stuff. In fact, it won’t take much effort at all, and will make pole training lots lots better. What’s not to love?

Happy Pancake (stretch) Day

Saying “I can’t…” We all know this one. I can’t do that. I haven’t tried yet, but I know I can’t. Or I tried it once, and it didn’t go too well, so I definitely won’t be able to do it now. WRONG. Pole is all about perseverance. Try, try, try again. you have good days and bad days, so if something doesn’t work today, come back to it another day. Get your instructor to have a look at your technique – there may be some small adjustment that will make things easier. Even if you still can’t do it, just say “I can’t do it… yet”. Your thoughts are manifesting instantly, so of course if you immediately say “I can’t…” you won’t be able to. One of my instructors has spent the past two years saying she can’t do an allegra. She has taught it many times, with the words “I’ve never been able to nail this move, but I’ll demonstrate how it works on the assistant instructor”. At photo shoots, she would admire the beauty of her students’ perfect allegras, simultaneously applauding them and sighing at her own inability to execute such a gorgeous move. Then a funny thing happened. You know that thing where Facebook shows you what you were doing three years ago today? Well there it was in all its glory – a photo of her in a perfect allegra. What? When did this happen?? Turns out she did the move once, perfectly, but for whatever reason she had convinced herself (and all of us) that it never happened. The mind is a powerful thing. It will listen to you a lot more than your body ever will. Use powerful language, keep your mind open and never tell yourself you can’t. Or your instructor will make you do press ups as a punishment. However. Let’s also give up… Unrealistic expectations OK I know it sounds like I’m completely contradicting what I just said but hear me out. It’s all very well saying “Yes I Can” (just ask Obama), but we need to be realistic. I for example have damage to two discs in my vertebrae. I have to be very careful with this, and can only bend in a certain way and to a certain point and engage certain muscles or I am at risk of a slipped disc, and in fact this happens a couple of times a year. So let’s face it, I’m not, realistically, going to be able to rainbow marchenko any time soon. And I’m OK with that. Not every body is built to do everything (well, except for Bendy Kate).  I’ve just managed a cocoon – admittedly not a great cocoon but a cocoon nonetheless – and it has taken me six years and I couldn’t be more chuffed because I never thought it would happen.

Photo by Jon Cook Photography

Basically what I’m saying is, listen to your body. There’s a difference between “I can’t…” and “If I do that I’ll need surgery” Bad technique Hopefully you aren’t regularly practising bad technique. But we all get a bit lazy and sloppy sometimes. Just try, for the 40 days of Lent, to do everything spot-on: Lift your inverts; point your toes; lengthen your lines; make your hands pretty; come down nicely instead of flopping onto a mat; hold everything for a fraction longer. I bet you’ll notice a difference, and who knows, after 40 days it might become a permanent habit. Being stuck in a rut Try something new. Dancing in heels. Dancing in bare feet. Mastering spinny pole. Floorwork or flow. Take a workshop or look on YouTube and Instagram for inspiration. You might end up going in a whole new direction! And even if you don’t, you at least will get a whole new understanding and level of respect for the girls that do. Negative thoughts Remember what we were saying about your thoughts manifesting instantly? What effect do you think negative thoughts have? We’ve already looked at negativity towards yourself and are all agreed never to say “I can’t…” again. Now let’s do a nice thing and agree to cut out negative thoughts about others. Who cares if someone can do something you can’t. Who cares if they can do it first time and it took you a year. What other people can or can’t do makes no difference whatsoever to your training. And whether you think or talk positively or negatively about them makes no difference, other than making YOU feel bad. It’s like eating a load of rubbish food and then feeling sick and bloated and sweaty. It’s true there is a very fine line between inspiring people and making people feel crap about themselves, so if someone falls into that latter camp, look at why they bring these feelings out in you, and consider whether it’s an issue YOU have, rather than them. And if it’s them, well just kick them off your news feed or out of your life.

Anything that makes you feel crap I’m not here to tell you what to eat or how to live your life. I’m not going to push any sort of lifestyle choice or agenda. There are loads of choices out there from veganism to paleo to dairy free, and by all means take a look at those choices. But what I’m talking about here is making small changes. If you eat bread and it makes you feel crap, then stop eating bread. If meat makes you tired and lethargic, don’t eat it. If smoking makes you… you get the idea. It’s quite simple really. If it doesn’t make you feel good, don’t do it. And why stop at food? Surround yourself with people who lift you up and encourage you and support you. I’m talking about your pole sisters and brothers, but feel free to extend this into all areas of your life. As I said on Facebook this week, I’m giving up ass*oles for Lent (except I used a more offensive word than that, because I’m not giving up swearing for Lent). When was the last time you looked at Facebook and it made you feel good about yourself? (apart from reading this, obviously). If social media has become a habit that invariably brings you down, stop looking at it. Put the phone down. You can do it. Go train instead. BEXIITA ACKLAND