Tag Archives: pole dance blog

Pole Picture Perfect

  By bexackland@ntlworld.com • November 20, 2020

Photo shoots – the amount of planning that goes into them can sometimes rival that of a wedding. Spray tans, lashes, costumes, hair, make up, and that’s before you even get to the most important bit, the actual pole moves themselves. Having done so many pole photo shoots now that social media is about ready to kill me, here are my top ten tips to make your big day go with a bang. Or rather, a flash.

1. Make a list

The most obvious point, but it’s surprising how many times people turn up to a shoot with no list of moves, or a list in their heads. If you have that sort of memory, great, but without a list your photographer or assistant can’t see what moves you are talking about and trying to achieve. For most shoots you get an allocated amount of time, and when a photographer is shooting 20 or 30 dancers, that time has to be pretty rigidly stuck to so that the whole two day shoot doesn’t overrun. Don’t waste your precious and expensive time saying “What’s that move where you leg is like this and your arm is like that and you’re sort of splitty but not really…”

If you don’t know the names of moves, just have photos on your phone or printed out, even if they are crappy images. We can see exactly what you are trying to do at the angle you mean in an instant.

Have a list, dress comfortably, keep warm and stretch

2. Turn up naked

OK, don’t actually turn up naked, but think loose and comfortable clothes, that will keep you warm and able to stretch. Don’t wear anything prior to the shoot that will leave marks on your body – tight seams on leggings, ankle socks, bra straps, tight knickers and hairbands round your wrist will all leave marks that last for hours.  Technically your photographer can edit these out, but wouldn’t you rather they were editing your bootilicious bod to flawless perfection instead of those lines round your ankles?

3. Labels suck

Even designer labels suck. Get rid of them. Peel the sticky label off the bottom of your shoes the second you get them out of the box. Cut the labels out of all your outfits – crop tops, bra tops, shorts, knickers – everything. Technically these COULD be photoshopped out by your photographer, but only if photo editing is included in the price, and why make life difficult? You already know your shoe size, and the washing instructions will only say “hand wash only”, which let face it you’ll ignore and shove it in the washing machine anyway, so you don’t need the labels. Snip them off. All labels – begone.

4. It’s all about angles

Pole is all about angles – much like football and sex, as one old friend helpfully told me (yeah, it was that sort of friend). Practice which way to invert so you are facing the right way for your shot. The backdrop is static so the photographer can’t move about too much to get the right angle. On your list of pole poses, next to each move draw an arrow to indicate which way you should face to invert or climb or whatever. The hardest bit of pole moves is getting into them, so minimise that bit as much as you can. Invert only once and save your energy for being as fabulous as possible in your move.

Angles. All the time.

Just because a move look impressive in the studio or on stage, it does’t necessarily mean it will make a good photo. Beware of moves that truncate your limbs and chop you off at the knee or elbow (cross knee release, Q, dangerous bird), poses that shorten your arms, legs or torso (superman front on), or are less than flattering to your stomach (oh so many!). Angles are always key, but some moves just don’t translate that well, especially (creepy word alert!) gusset exposure moves. I’ve never managed to get a nice photo of a teddy or a wrist seat without it looking gynaecological, though I’m sure it’s possible. Work your clothes too – many pole outfits have pretty detailing at the back, so think about moves that look nice from behind – allegra, Q, pole climbs, crucifix hang, genevieve – and show off your costume and back muscles. If you have a nice bum, or arms, or calves, or earlobes (what? It could happen) work your angles and find a way to show them off.

5. Don’t worry about slipping

If you are slipping in a move, just hold it. You can still get a good photo, and it won’t show that you are slipping. If however you start yelling “I’m slipping! Oh my gawd I’m slipping! Argh!” then that shot is ruined. Keep your face serene, don’t talk, just slide gracefully to the ground.

6. Fuel up

Make sure you eat well before your shoot. Everyone wants to look their best but if you crash diet before your shoot you will have no energy and be unable to do your moves. Don’t underestimate how gruelling a shoot can be, and fuel up accordingly. Don’t cut out food groups, ramp up the protein, stay away from sugar and foods that bloat you, bring loads of water, and bury your face in a mountain of chocolate afterwards.

7. Create a playlist

It is sometimes possible to play your own music at a shoot. Load up your iPod with songs that get you in the mood to get your pole on, and bring it along to your shoot. It can make the world of difference, especially if you are feeling nervous. Just don’t forget it afterwards and remember halfway along the motorway like I always do.

8. Work with your photographer

It’s the photographer’s job to make you look fabulous, with flattering lighting and creative input, but it’s your job to be prepared. Turn up ready, warmed up, stretched, and list in hand, and tell the photographer what it is you want. You can keep it super simple, with one uncomplicated outfit, or mix it up with costume changes. You can go for a theme, or a high concept shoot with props and make up and effects. Listen to your photographer and work with him or her to create what you want.

Don Curry brings out the sexy

9. Keep it simple

Remember, often the simple poses are the most beautiful and effective. A pretty pole sit, a pin up pose, a sexy bum shot, a hair flicky climb, a beautifully held gemini. Don’t feel you have a crack out championship poses. It’s much nicer to have a photo where you look happy, relaxed and comfortable in a pose, than one where your veins are popping out on your neck and you are grimacing from exertion. You are already on a pole, and that’s impressive enough – don’t feel like you will be judged for your move.

10. It’s your shoot – enjoy it!

It’s normal to feel nervous and excited before a shoot, especially if it’s with a well-known photographer. But don’t feel intimated – this is YOUR shoot, you have paid your money and you deserve a fantastic shoot as much as everyone else. Never feel pressured to perform for the photographer or compare yourself to anyone else on the shoot – no one is there to judge you. Photo shoots are for everyone, and not just for the super advanced – and that includes YOU, even if you only have 3 moves. Enjoy your moment.

BEXIITA ACKLAND

8 Things To Think About Before Competing In Pole

  By bexackland@ntlworld.com • November 20, 2020

Written by Bexiita Ackland

Competing in pole has become big business. What was once something only for the elite and/or crazy has become commonplace, with more and more reputable local and regional competitions, and with a wider range of competitions incorporating different styles of pole. From pole athletics to stripper style and everything in between, there is now a well organised and prestigious competition for you. Sometimes it feels like every person in every class you take has competed, is competing, or is planning to compete. And that’s totally brilliant – competing can take you to places you never imagined, pushing you physically and mentally. But is competing for you? Once you make the frankly pant wettingly scary decision to get up on stage, a whole world opens up to you which is hard to comprehend until you are actually part of it. Here are eight things to consider before making that decision and taking to the stage: 1. Can you afford it? The costs of competing can potentially be huge. Costumes are anywhere from around the £40 mark if you are canny/lucky on eBay, and up to £100-£200 for a bespoke outfit (that’s around $150-$300 for my American friends). Add on to that the costs of private or extra lessons or workshops you may want to book to polish up your tricks, the costs of hiring a space or studio to practice your routine or film your video heat, plus the costs of travelling to such sessions and things start to add up. That’s before we even get to the hair, make up, nails and so on – I’ve seen pre-comp beautifying to rival most weddings. However, like weddings, competing can be done on a budget – if you are handy with a needle you can create a wonderful costume yourself which will stand out as not being yet another creation by the designer du jour, and of course you can do your own hair and make up (or go with a caveman/Wild Woman of Borneo theme that requires no beautifying at all). You may have free access to your own space or own pole to practice, so practice may not cost your too much money at all. However there’s no way to get away from…. 2. Do you have the time? Do not underestimate how much of your time competing will take up. Do you have friends, family or any sort of a social life? Do you hear that whooshing sound? That’s the sound of your social life disappearing. You may be a natural and come up with a whole routine in an hour or two, but most people spend a lot of time sitting on the floor with a notepad, planning combos, scribbling things out, writing new combos, screwing up bits of paper, considering burning the entire notebook and studio to the ground, starting again from scratch and then ending up with something completely different weeks later. All of this faffing about will take up huge amounts of your spare time. You may also take up other sports on your non-pole days to help with strength or cardio when you realise how much stamina a whole routine requires (this is when pole dancers fall in love with swimming, running and crossfit). You may take up a stretch or yoga class to help with flexibility, because let’s face it flexibility always adds a wow factor to routines. And after all the time physically taken up, it will also take up all your time in your head. Don’t even bother trying to have a conversation with a pole dancer a week before they compete, unless you want to talk about glitter, tendons, the unquantifiable amount an unfamiliar pole might spin and whether to step first with the left or right leg. Seriously, the week before I compete, I bore even myself. Of course, you may thrive on the focus and thoroughly enjoy the discipline of planning your life and managing your time effectively. The process of creating a routine is undoubtedly hugely rewarding and enjoyable, and a much better use of time than watching crap TV. On the other hand, if you have no friends or social life whatsoever, you are a perfect candidate for competing. 3. What about significant others? OK so most people do have friends and a social life, and possibly a significant other and even children. These people are going to bear the brunt when you are tired, injured, stressed, nervous and trying not to eat chocolate. Is that going to make your life difficult? For the last four weeks or so before your competition, will your family be understanding that you will be training a lot and not at home? I’m not saying that you should put your dreams on hold, but it’s probably a good idea to brief/warn everyone concerned beforehand. Do you have a good support network around you? Will someone be there for you when you are crying over crystals? It can happen. Do you have someone to go to for advice about music cutting or costume designing, or someone to warn you against capes, skirts or props? (Seriously, think twice about wearing a skirt). And do you have someone to remind you that it’s only a competition for goodness sake, chill out and eat the chocolate?

4. Are you emotionally ready? Are you prepared for what you will go through and the questions you will ask yourself? When you are tired and drained, sore and aching, with creativity flowing from every pore leaving you emotionally open, it’s not unusual to ask some pretty soul-searching questions Am I good enough? Should I be doing more? Why didn’t I start training splits years ago? Why is everyone is better than me? Remember that bit about sitting on the floor with a notepad putting your routine together, only to realise you have far exceeded your capabilites? That’s when all the ghosts of pole appear to let you know just how rubbish you are The main thing to remember here is that this is NORMAL. Here’s a secret: everyone feels like that sometimes. Everyone wonders if they are good enough. Everyone questions themselves and worries they will mess up and embarrass themselves. Take a deep breath, speak to your pole instructor or fellow students or someone in the industry you admire or respect or just think will be nice to you. And for goodness sake, don’t start obsessing about what your fellow competitors are doing and comparing yourself to them. You are you, and they are them. Believe me, deep down, they are thinking the same thoughts. 5. Are you physically ready? Depending on the level you are competing at, competing can put a strain on the body. Are you healthy and reasonably fit? Do you have any underlying medical conditions that mean when you are tired and stressed, your health is put in danger? I do not for a moment mean you cannot compete if this applies to you. Rather, I mean you need to be aware of this, listen to your body and manage your training appropriately. You might also use the process as an opportunity to improve your general health and nutrition – healthy eating will undoubtedly help your with your training, and having your performance as a goal can be a great incentive to improve your overall fitness. Make sure, however, this is a by product of your training, and not the sole incentive. It is not a good idea to compete “because that way I will have to lose 2 stone by July”. Also remember that cake, chocolate, chicken wings, doughnuts and eating out with friends is lovely and enjoyable, and also that you do not get scored onstage for your thighs. 6. Are you doing it for the right reasons?

Also known as why are you doing it? There are many brilliant, positive reasons to compete. To push yourself with your training. To set yourself a challenge. To take yourself further along your pole journey. To inspire your students or family. Because it looks like fun.  There are also reasons to compete which are based in negativity – To prove a point. To “show someone”. For the glory. Because you’ll definitely win. Competing is always a risk, but if your reasons to do so are based in positivity, then whatever the outcome it will still be a positive experience. If however you are going through the whole thing – the work, the stress, the training, the expense – for a negative reason… I don’t have to spell it out do I. 7. Will you enjoy it? Your performance itself will last a matter of minutes, but can be hugely intense. Your training can last months. Will you enjoy both? Personally I like performing, but the training – n ot so much. Others are the other way around, and love working towards a goal but are terrified on stage. Training when you’re not in the mood or it’s snowing outside or you’re as stiff as a board can make you just want to lie on the sofa watching X Factor, or it can take you to a wonderful place of zen and sense of achievement. If you have not enjoyed the process, or appearing on stage, it will show in your performance. Similarly, if you have loved every minute, that will ooze out of your performance and pour all over the judges and crowd like that stuff in the 50s B-movie The Blob, but make them enthralled and fill them with joy rather than terror and fear. 8. How important is it to you to place? If you give your all to your training, focus your time, pour your heart and soul into your routine, give it everything you’ve got on stage and then place much lower than you were hoping or expecting, how are you going to feel about that? How will you feel if you come last?

It’s normal to experience post-comp blues, even if you are happy with the result. Competing can become such a massive thing and not having it any more can leave a void. But will you still be feeling those blues next week, next month, next year? Will it put you off competing altogether? Remember, competing and judging is subjective. Who can know what makes up the “best” routine? On another day, you may have placed higher or lower. Of course, you want to do your best, and it’s natural and human to want to do well. But if you are placing your self worth on doing well, you are putting yourself in a dangerous position, both mentally and emotionally. If you can genuinely say that as long as you did your best and where you place is just a bonus, then you are in the right frame of mind. Go ahead, and make it your time to shine. Your stage is waiting.

Ten things to do from the very beginning of your pole journey

  By bexackland@ntlworld.com • November 20, 2020

Ah, your first time on a pole. Can you remember yours? Chances are, you were smitten from the very start. And whether you are still an absolute beginner, or you are now years down the line, you will have invariably learned a great deal, not only on the pole, but about the process of learning itself, and how to be a better poler. Here are ten things I wish I’d known from the very start of my pole journey. 1. Train both sides Without doubt, this is the single biggest thing every poler wishes they had done from the start, so let’s start with this one. Train. Both. Sides. Even if you don’t read the rest of this piece, take this piece of advice with you, tuck it in your hotpants and keep it there. Take it to every lesson, as reliably as you take your grip aids and water. Think about it. Everything feels weird at first. So it may as well fell weird on both sides. Even left handed people will be stronger on the right If that’s how they learn, and vice versa. It’s not so much to do with your dominant side as it is to do with muscle memory and what you are used to. So you may as well get used to your “bad” side from the start. When you become more advanced and want to start linking moves together, finding that you are ending up on your bad side for a brass monkey or Ayesha or whatever can put an end to the combo of your dreams. If only you could do it both sides! And of course, training both sides means you won’t end up lopsided, with one bicep like Popeye and one like Olive Oyl. But quite apart from that, having even strength will prevent injury and help with balance and even weight distribution.   I do teach everything both sides now. Everyone moans and hates me for it, but in a few years when they want to iron X on the left I can at least say I tried to take them to the dork side. Both sides people! Got it? Good. Let’s move on. 2. Stretch In many ways when you are a beginner you are the perfect candidate for stretching. More often than not, a beginners basic level of flexibility will not be massively high, and increasing flexibility will possibly be one of the things that is attractive about pole. It’s a bit like a yoga class but with more fun stuff and less philosophy, right?? And all the other beginners will have a similar level of flexibility and not be all scarily intimidating. OK, there’s usually some bendy circus type freak – but apart from them, most beginners are not doing the splits, bending in half backwards or even able to touch the floor, so making stretches a part of your regular warm up and and cool down is going to make a difference. The problem is when those stretches don’t change and develop as your flexibility increases, taking your flexibility to the next level. When you are super comfortable with your jade, Allegra, cocoon or whatever, you are going to want it to look flatter, more splitty, more bendy. Wouldn’t it be great if you had already been working on that flexibility for months, rather than waiting until you achieved the move? But flexibility isn’t just to make moves look amazing. It helps to make holds strong, and prevent injury. As you build muscle and get stronger, those muscles become bigger and bulkier, and flexibility is often compromised as a result. This can cause issues with range of movement, making certain moves potentially painful or at risk of causing harm. Typically pole dancers build muscle around the shoulders and upper body, which is great and we all love memes of Barbie dolls with massive biceps, but without consistent stretching those muscles will reduce shoulder rotation and flexibility. Congratulations, you are strong and bendy enough in your back to do a seahorse, a dove, an eagle, a Phoenix! Oh though. You need someone to push that shoulder round. Stretch after EVERY pole lesson, especially those shoulders.

3. See pole dancing performed at a show or competition First and foremost, shows and competitions are BRILLIANT. You get to hang out with cool people who don’t mind that you bang on about pole endlessly, and there’s always loads of good stuff to buy. But for a bit of inspiration, you cannot beat watching others perform for a crowd. It’s totally different from what you see in a pole studio, showing the difference between exercise and fitness, and an actual performance. It doesn’t even have to be a massive national competition. Go to a small local competition, or a showcase, or even a strip club. See how your sport looks when it is polished and practiced and covered in sparkles. You will come away with ideas for things you haven’t tried before. You may even be inspired to give it  go yourself. 4. Spinny pole Spinny pole seems to be something that is considered to be for advanced students only (and Australians). Outside of the occasional lesson or one-off work shop, It’s rare to find beginners regularly practicing the art of the spinning pole. What tends to happen is someone buys their own pole, puts it on spin mode, jumps on and spins at 800 rpm, tries to invert, feels sick, has to go and lie in a darkened room with a cup of tea until the world stops moving, then declares “I hate spinny pole” and never does it again. But what shame! spinny pole is a wondrous thing of joy and beauty! If only polers were introduced to the delights of controlled spinning early on and practiced it regularly. Just look at the Australians. They train on spin from the start and make it look easy and amazing. Who doesn’t want to look like Maddie Sparkle on a pole? Nuff said. Get dizzy bitches.

5. Find your own style When you start pole and eagerly, excitedly, breathlessly check out alll the polers on social media, you’d be forgiven for feeling a bit disheartened at the sight of thousands of girls doing amazing things with the caveat “sorry for my rubbish phoenix/crap splits/poor iron x”, especially when you’ve only just learned your first spin. Being good at pole takes time, patience and perseverance. Some students have a background in dance, gymnastics or even contortion, and they will pick things up fast and make them look awesome, but most are average women or indeed men who are not taking the pole world by storm just yet but they are making amazing progress and getting stronger and fitter week by week. Everyone’s journey is different. Find your own style. Don’t try to be like someone else, not your teacher, not your classmates, not your pole idol. It’s fine to be inspired and influenced but there is only one you. Don’t push yourself too hard. Be kind to yourself. Appreciate different strengths and weaknesses and that you don’t have to excel at everything. Spins, floor work, inverting, climbing, spinny poles, combos, flexibility… there are so many disciplines. Be encouraging and supportive and you will be encouraged and supported. And if not, you are in the wrong training space 6. Find a good teacher Or rather, find the right teacher for you. You don’t have to stay at one studio out of loyalty. Maybe you want to work on slinky floor work but your school is more about conditioning or vice versa. If you feel that you could benefit from another teaching style, it’s OK to train somewhere else. There’s no reason you can’t go to two different schools and get the best of both worlds. Even if you train alone, you can still benefit hugely from masterclasses, workshops, pole jams, private lessons or the odd group class elsewhere. 7. Take photos. Taking photos is a great learning tool. It’s the easiest way to track progress, to see how your gemini now varies from your very first one, how much your flexibility has improved, or how much that old hair colour absolutely did not suit you. Photos are also a great communication tool – when you are upside down clinging on for dear life, your instructor’s cry of “leg down! leg down!” is likely to make less sense than those websites helping you with HTML. But with a photo in front of you, your teacher can point to the leg in question, and explain where she would like to see it instead. Ahhhh it makes sense now! Photos are also great when you want to revisit a move but can’t remember the name. “Can we do that one where you’re upside down and your leg is on the pole and the pole is here… or is it there… and the arm is up here somewhere and oh I can’t even remember it now…” A photo here saves everyone’s time and sanity. Plus, it’s always amusing to look at what people are doing in the background. Just don’t get distracted by text messages, Snapchat and Facebook.

8. Freestyle, and dance it out. There’s more to pole than just tricks and competitions. Freestyling is a thing, but it’s unlikely this will be taught at the average pole school, as it’s such a personal thing, and it feels weird to pay for classes but essentially be told to make it up as you go along. You can dance without learning what to do first , you can just let yourself move and flow and roll on the floor and spin and see what happens. Many, many advanced student never learned the art of freestyle, and can drop a fonji without breaking a sweat but freak out at the thought of a two minute freestyle, Add a movement flow practice at the end of every session and learn how your body moves. Do it in the dark if you feel self conscious, or even blindfolded. It will make a world of difference. 9. Don’t get into bad habits Don’t flex your feet. Don’t run and jump into inverts. If you do get to a level where you want to perform, compete, or even teach, it’s going to be really hard to break those habits. No one is saying you have to be perfect, and every invert must be deadlifted with perfect straight legs from day one (a pretty unreasonable expectation for most), but as soon as you are strong enough, get into the habit of doing moves to the best of your ability. It’s harder to do it that way because you are using more effort and muscle technique. So guess what – doing it that way all the time will give you a killer workout, washboard abs, thighs like Wonder Woman and buttocks you could crack walnuts with. Who doesn’t want that? 10 feel free to ignore all of this completely Let’s face it most people go pole for a fun fitness class. For most, getting to a competition level or even an advanced level of pole is not really a priority. If you just want to turn up once a week and have a great time having fun with a bunch of like minded individuals and at the same time get a bit fitter and stronger, that’s absolutely brilliant. Do not feel you need to embody those bullying “you just have to keep pushing yourself” memes. You only have to push yourself as far as you want and do what you want. So feel free to ignore all of this advice completely, and make pole your own personal Journey. But seriously. Train both sides.   BEXIITA ACKLAND

Break Dance (Or Rather, Bruise Dance)

  By bexackland@ntlworld.com • November 20, 2020

I once broke  my foot whilst teaching a pole dancing class. I did a cartwheel and landed awkwardly, and my 5th metatarsal (made famous by David Beckham in the 2002 World Cup) snapped like a twig. It sounded like a twig snapping anyway, or possibly a lolly stick. I also bruise very very badly, especially when in training. Those of a nervous disposition may want to look away now.

When this photo was published in a blog, it was inundated with comments from readers concerned for my health and personal wellbeing. (I’m OK guys, I just bruise very easily). DO NOT WORRY. You will not end up with legs like this just because you pole dance. Let’s take this picture as testament to my clumsiness, awkwardness, lifelong tendency to bruise badly, and a habit of continuing to train long after I should really go home for a nice cup of fruit tea and a hot bath. But the fact is, while broken bones and serious injuries in pole are thankfully rare, minor injuries – bruises, abasions, body parts that just feel “a bit ruined” – are pretty much part and parcel of what we do.   So, ladies and gentlemen, with this in mind, I present, for your delight and delectation, the roll call of pole dancing injuries. Gaze on in wonder as your image of pole dancing as an easy leisure pursuit or male fantasy vanishes before your eyes! Marvel at complicated ways to injure your body you never thought possible! Admire the women who put themselves through such things, and then photograph it and upload it to Facebook!What’s interesting is how much people love a dramatic injury. Nothing gets people quite so excited as a photo of an injured body part on social media. There could be a number of reasons for this: a genuine interest and concern for your fellow poler’s health from friends and wellwishers (possible) or that people love reading about pain and suffering and misfortune (much more likely). Pole dancing is hardcore. When starting out on the pole odyssey (by which I mean starting lessons but let’s make it sound Herculean) most students are surprised to find pole dancing is difficult, and it hurts. This is one of the reasons polers can be so defensive, and get annoyed when it isn’t taken seriously as a sport The first thing to deal with are the bruises. Pole dancers can spot other pole dancers a mile away. A rash of little bruises sweeping up the inner thigh? Superman. Top of the foot where your flip flop sits? Learning to climb. (There was a girl on The Apprentice in the UK a few years ago who wore a skirt one week and revealed some very suspicious looking bruises to the beady-eyed pole enthusiast)

Did I mention I bruise quite easily?

Pretty soon on your pole adventure you will come across pole burn – friction burns caused by skin-on-pole contact. This little pleasure really comes into its own when learning to pole sit. Oh, to hold your entire body weight clenched between your inner thighs! This is where it’s good to carry a little bit of meat on your thighs – more to grip with. I call this my KFC Pouch. Watch in awe as ladies climb, sit, hold, release and rub their inner thighs in agony whilst taking the Lord’s name in vain and cursing all his cherubim and seraphim to high heaven. You may also come across the joys of floor/carpet burns when landing your spins. And it’s not just knees – when executing a floor move pushing back from a press-up position I have experienced carpet burn on the chin – which is not easy to explain at the school PTA meeting. For those who still maintain pole dancing is about titillating men, ladies and gentlemen I bring you callouses. Spinning around the pole will wear the skin on your hands – and when your spins get fast, you will wear the skin harder, until eventually a little line of callouses will develop. These may extend to the little patch of skin on the inner side of your wrist. These double up as exfoliating pads when treating your significant other to a nice scratchy massage. Callouses are good and are to be encouraged as they will protect your hands, in much the same way a guitarist must develop callouses on their fingers to hold down the strings. If you pole dance a lot, the delicate skin on your inner thighs may start to toughen up too. My inner thigh skin resembles rhino hide, and it no longer tans in the sun, but on the plus side, I can hold both my and my doubles partner’s entire body weight on my thighs without even wincing, so every cloud.

One day, you too can have thighs that are a different colour to your body

If you still think pole dancing is sexy, let’s talk about dry skin – moisturising will cause you to slip off the pole. Oh and some find stubbly legs grip the pole better – like velcro, possibly. On the other hand, all that walking about in shorts means bikini waxes are a regular feature, so there may be a porn-star-Hollywood meets Wild Woman of Borneo dichotomy going on. It can also help to keep your nails short. When changing grips and body position you may find your hand ends up somewhere it doesn’t normally go, and gouging a chunk of flesh out of your thigh (or worse) is not much fun. This goes double if you have – well – a doubles partner, or if you are an instructor. Carving into someone else’s flesh isn’t pleasant for anyone. All this, plus the fact that it’s obviously uncomfortable to wrap your nice soft body around a metal pole and stay there. New students often say “Is that right? It feels weird” and it does – because really, when would you have ever done anything similar before? On the plus side, you see a difference in muscle tone fast, within six weeks or so, and learn something new each week. You see your strength increase much faster than in any other fitness class I’ve been to, and all of the above hazards decrease as you perfect your technique. Or maybe it’s just me. Maybe I’m just clumsy. I’m the one with a million bruises after all. BEXIITA

Still Hanging Around…

  By bexackland@ntlworld.com • November 20, 2020

Written by Bexiita Ackland

I’m getting on a bit.

Earlier this year it was my 40th birthday. Sometimes, as author Jonathan Safran Foer wrote, I can feel my bones straining under the weight of all the lives I’m not living. Or to be more accurate, I can feel my body straining under the weight of all the pole moves I haven’t got round to trying yet. I think my pole to-do list is starting to exceed the length of time I actually have left on the planet.

I didn’t start pole until I was 33. While this is by no means ancient, let’s face it – it is on the upper end of the spring chicken scale.

It seems like everyone in pole is getting younger. Just a few weeks ago a discussion on children taking pole classes made international headlines. With that brings a new generation of fearless flippy gymnasts, and it’s easy to see why, even at the ripe old age of 25, some polers can start to feel past it.

Age is meaningless in my head. I don’t feel like I’m getting older. I feel the same as I did when I was 16 apart from the fact I don’t fancy Christian Slater any more. My body? Yeah it’s starting to feel a difference.

It takes longer to warm up. Gone are the days of turning up to class and launching straight into a handspring. But that can only be a good thing right? That sort of thing was probably ridiculously irresponsible anyway and led to all those niggling pains I had, but ignored cos I was being so badass. Much better now to have a good long warm up and stretch session, ideally in a toasty warm studio and possibly with a nice cup of tea.

While we are on the subject of injuries, I know if I hurt myself now it will take longer to recover. My days of being Wolverine are ebbing away. This means there are tricks I won’t do because I know they are not for me. Again, this creates a sense of responsible poling that extends to students I know have injuries or health issues.

I do not believe every trick is for everyone and it’s just a matter of pushing through the pain. I do not believe that pain is failure leaving the body. I think that sort of mentality is dangerous claptrap. Ageing makes you more responsible not only to your own body, but to those you teach too. I want my students to still be poling in 5, 10 or 15 years. I feel more aware of what the body can do and it’s limitations, and that health and body wellness is truly a gift to be treasured. As Isabella Rossellini says in the wonderfully philosophical Death Becomes Her, “This is life’s ultimate cruelty. It offers us a taste of youth and vitality, and then it makes us witness our own decay”. Or as more often said – youth is wasted on the young.

I have recently had to withdraw from a competition I love because I hurt myself doing the video heat. I know that training for the actual competition would be even more intense, and I can’t take the risk of injuring myself to the extent of being unable to teach, my source of income. Would this be different if I was younger? Am I at more risk of injury because I am older?

While on the subject of competing, I suppose the possibility of performing to Lana Del Rey’s Young And Beautiful is probably receding.

Will You Still Love Me When I’m No Longer Able To Hang Upside Down?

But while its undoubtedly a toll on the body, this getting older business, it’s definitely a liberating thing for the soul.

I can distinctly remember being “young”, whatever that means, and whenever older women (and shamefully by that I probably meant those over 30) said things like “I feel a lot more attractive now than I did when I was 20” I used to think it was a lie. When women said the confidence that came with age made them feel more comfortable with themselves, more attractive, more confident, I thought it was a lie they were telling themselves to make themselves feel better. I actually thought this. In Real Life. I’m so ashamed. If nothing else, getting older has been a wonderful thing because it stopped me thinking such obnoxious things and being such an arse.

Now I know not only it is true, but that it’s true to the power of a billion. Yes, I am happy to report to my whippersnapper friends who obsess over stretch marks on their perfect thighs and inject Botox into their non existent wrinkles, as you get older those things may get worse but you JUST DON’T CARE. Honestly.

I used to wear a skirt when I started teaching, so horrified was I at the sight of my own thighs and arse, Yet now there are probably more picture of my arse on the internet than there are conspiracy theories about Area 51. In fact the exposure of my arse could probably cover Area 51.

I laugh at those articles about what women shouldn’t wear after 30 or 40 or 50. One good thing about being older is wearing what you want and really not giving a toss. Don’t tell me I can’t wear a bikini after 30. I’ll wear a ballgown and stripper heels to the supermarket if I want and you can pick up all the f***s I don’t give in my wake.

…And neither should you

You might think I look ridiculous in my sequinned Union Jack bikini but what business is that of anybody’s. I’ll listen to advice on what to wear from teenagers when they learn to pull their jeans up.

This is not to say I don’t have my own moments of vanity and self consciousness. I’m not for one moment saying I’m perfect. Instead, I mean as you get older you might look in the mirror and think urgh my face is literally starting to run down my body, but never mind. Look what my body has done. It has created new life, and brought those human beings up so who cares about a few stretch marks? It has borne the brunt of a million adventures and has the scars to show for it, from dents left from childhood accidents to surgery and biopsy scars that all tell a story to the remnants of unidentified drinking injuries that are hazy in detail but make great anecdotes. I even have a few dodgy tattoos that I still like even though they are faded and blurred and reveal a 90s penchant for Japanese calligraphy. (The tattoos were never meant to be seen by the way, how was I to know that 15 years later I’d have a job that required me to be permanent clad in hotpants and crop top?)

Plus being 40 is a brilliant excuse. If I look like crap, I can say “what did you expect? I’m twice your age!” If I look good everyone’s all “wow I hope I look as good as you at your age”. It’s a win win. What’s not to love?

I am a woman well lived and I think that’s a small price to pay for having to take an extra half an hour to warm up.

BEXIITA ACKLAND